The Jaffe Briefing - August 12, 2021

STATEWIDE – The U.S. Census figures are coming out today. While you may be wondering why we would lead with such ho-hum news, it is really a big deal, with its own share of drama for nerds like us. Newark will learn if it is no longer the biggest city in the state, perhaps usurped by Jersey City. And towns will see how all these state affordable housing mandates have forced their populations to skyrocket over the past 10 years, as developers build and build. And, of course, legislative redistricting is a big thing, as lines may need to be shifted based on where people are living, upsetting political apple carts. And we will also learn how many more tens of thousands of people live in Lakewood. And for those who dig really, really deep into the Census, on page 318-B or so, this question will be answered: Does Pine Valley still have the smallest population in New Jersey?

STATEWIDE – Are we losing school libraries? The New Jersey Herald thinks so, reporting on a trend in which traditional libraries are becoming “media centers,” with the bespectacled, old librarians being replaced by overeducated, millennial “media center specialists.” School libraries are also being phased out as money-saving measures, with more than 9,000 full-time librarians canned in the U.S. between 2009-2016. Fredon Township did away with a school librarian, as did Glen Ridge and Cedar Grove. In fact, as many as one-fifth of all districts in the state did not have a certified school library media specialist on staff as of the 2018-19 school year. No response yet from school librarians, who ask us to “shush” and “talk with our indoor voice.”

WALL TOWNSHIP – Butt out, governor. That seems to be the message from local school officials, who say that requiring masks in schools should be a school district decision, rather than universal mandates from Trenton. The Wall school board had decided to make mask-wearing optional for the upcoming school year and then – WHAM – the governor made a sweeping, statewide announcement on Friday. School officials respond in writing: “Your blanket orders do not reflect what is in the best interest for students and staff of the Wall Township Public Schools,” school officials write, adding that Gov. Phil Murphy is infringing on home rule. Maybe so, but a highly-contagious variant eager to spread throughout our schools doesn’t care who is in charge.

BRIEFING BREATHER

The longest wedding veil was the same length as 63.5 football fields.

LODI – There’s still plenty of drama in NYC’s plan to create “congestion pricing” in Manhattan, which is basically another tax on New Jersey commuters. Sick of New Jersey commuters being used “like an ATM,” Rep. Josh Gottheimer wants to be our white knight, NJ.com reports. He’s hyping a bi-partisan bill that would block capital funding to NYC until New Jersey drivers are exempt from these despised congestion fees. The bill would also refund our commuters in the form of federal tax credits for congestion fees that were spent to those who dare drive south of 60th Street in Manhattan, adding about $3,000 a year in commuting costs. Ridiculous.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

BOSTON – If you are going to try to sell an unlivable house for $1.2 million, now is the time. With the super-hot housing market, the owners of the famous “Skinny House” have it back on the market with an eye-popping price tag. The home, located in Boston’s North End, is barely 10 feet wide (at its widest point) and then narrowing to 9.25 feet. Still, the house at 44 Hull St. features four stories and a private deck with (very narrow) views of the Boston Harbor. The current owner was also able to squeeze in modern appliances, hardwood floors and exposed brick, as well as a Juliet balcony facing private gardens. But, uh, no front door. Rather, you can slide through a side alley into a house with just five doors on four floors. Move fast; the “Skinny House” was on the market for only three months in 2017, when it sold for $900,000.

Bonus info: According to local legend, the structure was built as a “spite house” shortly after the Civil War….. “two brothers inherited land from their deceased father. While one brother was away serving in the military, the other built a large home, leaving the soldier only a shred of property that he felt certain was too tiny to build on. When the soldier returned, he found his inheritance depleted and built the narrow house to spite his brother by blocking the sunlight and ruining his view,” the Boston Globe reports.

DYERSVILLE, IOWA – If you build it, they will come. So, the Yankees and White Sox will materialize to play tonight in the middle of rural Iowa, on the site of the iconic “Field of Dreams” movie, shot 32 years ago. The players – in retro uniforms, of course – will appear through the thick cornfields to play on this field of imagination in the middle of nowhere, which is suddenly very, very real.  This is the first time the field is being used for Major League Baseball. And, yes, Kevin Costner will be among the 8,000 fans lucky enough to attend. Aaron Judge will be there, too. Sadly, no Shoeless Joe.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

Could it finally be it for Jimmy Carter on this day in 2015? It was on that day he was diagnosed with a fast-spreading cancer ravaging his entire body.

WORD OF THE DAY

Callow – [KAL-oh] – adjective

Definition: Lacking adult sophistication

Example: My English teacher often reprimanded me for my callow signature.

WIT OF THE DAY

“Politics - noun. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.”

-Ambrose Bierce

BIDEN BLURB

“Our future cannot depend on government alone.”

-Joe Biden

WEATHER IN A WORD

Sweaty