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The Jaffe Briefing - August 6, 2021

STATEWIDE – Surprising no one, Gov. Phil Murphy will announce today that, yes, masks will be mandated in the public schools this fall. He will be in East Brunswick today to make the important announcement, back-peddling on his initial plan to have a full-time, in-person school reopening in the fall with no masks. But that was before the increased number of Delta variant cases and all the warnings from the feds. The key here: Keeping kids in the schools, where they can catch up from learning loss, as opposed to another disastrous year of impossible, ineffective remote learning.

NEWARK – Speaking of learning loss, New Jersey continues to learn the grave effects of this pandemic on student performance. The latest report is courtesy of Chalkbeat Newark, which is saying that just 9% of Newark students in grades 2-8 met state expectations in math, while only 11% were on par for reading, during spring testing. Look, we all know Newark Public Schools had their challenges waaay before COVID, but these latest figures are just a glimpse at the big picture of what was lost – especially among minority groups. And, to depress you further, the news site reports these awful test scores parallel how all the disruptions affected kids nationally. This is not just a Newark story, with plenty more data on the way.

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Got to hand it to the “Ciattarelli for Governor” campaign: it was certainly clever, initially, to have the memorable “Jack and Diane” signs, as everyone knows the catchy John Cougar ditty from 1982. But, as the GOP campaign highlights where Gov. Phil Murphy may have fallen short on the MeToo movement, did any of the political strategists actually listen to the lyrics? The Trentonian certainly has, reminding everyone of what Cougar is actually singing: “Suckin' on chili dog outside the Tastee Freez, Diane sitting on Jacky's lap, got his hands between her knees. Jack he says, ‘Hey, Diane, let's run off behind a shady tree,' dribble off those Bobbie Brooks, let me do what I please.” Um, yeah. That’s not about Jack Ciattarelli and Diane Allen, and we will just leave it there and, er, move on.

BRIEFING BREATHER

There were no ponies used on the Pony Express.

TRENTON – Visitors to the State House who want to smoke a joint before sitting through long, dull legislative hearings can soon run into a marijuana dispensary. But, those dispensaries won’t be anywhere nearby. City officials plan to allow five dispensaries to open in our capital city, but the wafting of weed will be nowhere near the state’s central hub. NJ.com says Mayor Reed Gusciora wanted 10 dispensaries, with some even in the downtown. But, under the limited plan, the mayor says the city is squandering the opportunity to “capture this moment.”

HOBOKEN – Anyone who has been in a Hoboken bar – and, really, who hasn’t? – knows how tightly packed those marvelous places can be. That happened to be great, before COVID, but now just seems icky and dangerous. And that’s why city Councilman Michael DeFusco wants to give some cash incentives to bars that refuse to admit unvaccinated patrons. The Jersey Journal reports enticements could be a waiver of city fees, such as rent for outdoor dining space. The response has been a bit tepid, as bar owners are quick to remind everyone how easy it is to manufacture a bogus vaccination card on any copy machine, anywhere. A new mandate would just create even more fake IDs passed around Hoboken, if that’s possible.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

NEW YORK – Hoe no! There’s now a brand-new job at Facebook – a special, real-life human being assigned to moderate all the content on a forum for horticulturists in western New York, after the social media giant kept deleting the word “hoe” because it was considered offensive and violating “standards for harassment and bullying.” Facebook’s algorithms kept flagging “hoe,” despite the fact the 7,500-member gardening group considers a hoe as a key weeding tool, as opposed to something else entirely. Facebook would not say if other gardening groups have faced the same problem, but we did recently write how Facebook wrongly flagged the U.K. landmark Plymouth Hoe as offensive, then apologized, and then apologized again.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1996 that NASA announces there may be life on Mars. Yet, billions and billions of dollars later, there is still no concrete proof.

WORD OF THE DAY

Infix – [IN-fiks] – noun

Definition: A derivational or inflectional affix appearing in the body of a word 

Example: Bet you didn’t know the Philippine language of Tagalog adds infixes such as -um- and -su- to verbs to convey different tenses and voices.

WIT OF THE DAY

“Our grandfathers had to run, run, run. My generation's out of breath. We ain't running no more.”

-Stokely Carmichael

BIDEN BLURB

“Innovation can only occur where you can breathe free.”

-Joe Biden 

WEATHER IN A WORD

Steamy