The Jaffe Briefing - July 21, 2021

LIVINGSTON – Damn straight. That’s the best response one can give to word that RWJ Barnabas has gone as far as to fire six health care supervisors who refused to get the COVID vaccine, after numerous warnings. Not to sound like a hard ass here, but good riddance. Even better: the mega hospital chain is vowing to expand the vaccine mandate to “all staff and physicians,” unless there is some medical or religious exemption, the Record reports. You can bet there will be some opposition to this rule, from howling people who like to howl. But if this small minority of health care supervisors don’t see the obvious, clear-cut value of the vaccine, do you really want them dispensing your health care advice?

WESTAMPTON – Pot heads are getting a bit emboldened these days, following the legalization of weed in New Jersey. Case in point: A 53-year-old man is suing a supply chain company that fired him for failing a drug test. But that test occurred three days after Gov. Phil Murphy signed a law that eliminated all the criminal penalties and fines for smoking pot. So, why did he get canned? The law is clear here: Employers can still do random testing for pot use, but can’t do anything if the test comes back positive, NJ.com reports. You just can’t get stoned at work, or, we assume, hit your car in the parking lot during a “coffee break.”

TRENTON – It was 10 years ago that the state stopped mailing tax rebate checks, figuring it was just easier and cheaper to offer direct credits on tax bills. But, today, our state politicians running for re-election aren’t going to let this goody go by. So, the state Treasury Department is back to mailing paper checks to thousands of low- and middle-class parents over the next few weeks, certain to put a smile on many voters’ faces as they skip to the bank. A total of $319 million is being sent out to 760,000 recipients, costing $387,000 for printing and postage. That’s a great price for easy PR, at least according to the teams of political consultants.

BRIEFING BREATHER

A "jiffy" is about one trillionth of a second.

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – There were high hopes among political pundits that Jack Ciatarelli was going to announce his lieutenant government pick tomorrow. But, Politico reports, it appears we all need to wait until next month for this big, breathless announcement. There’s really no rush here, so calm down, as the deadline is Aug. 6 at 5 p.m. Not only is the trick to find the right person who can appeal to Democrats and turn some votes, but also nailing the perfect time in the media cycle to generate as much free ink as possible. And, even better, perhaps the GOP gubernatorial candidate can talk about big plans for his No. 2, other than attending public events, smiling and spitting out pre-approved talking points.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

FIFTY MILES ABOVE THE EARTH – We all know Jeff Bezos and three others completed the first unpiloted suborbital flight with an all-civilian crew in human history yesterday, as CBS has been rehashing the whole thing, again, this morning. But, despite the tight script here, what anyone on social media can talk about is how the Amazon founder built the world’s most expensive flying penis. Of course, there was applause for Bezos who, ahem, rose to the occasion. But why did the New Shepard rocket have to resemble the intergalactic phallic symbol piloted by Dr. Evil in the Austin Powers movies? Twitter is – sorry, can’t help it – bulging with comments that simply can’t be reprinted here. But here’s one response from George Takei, the Star Trek actor-turned-LGBTQ-activist: “Oh myyy. That … shape.” 

LONDON – A fingerprint lasting for 500 years? Experts at the Victoria & Albert Museum think they found Michelangelo’s thumbprint embedded in a small wax statue that he created around 1515 or so. The now-famous mark was pressed onto the dark red figurine, which was a sketch for a larger unfinished marble sculpture, to be placed in Pope Julius II's elaborate tomb in Rome. Museum staff is downright giddy about the potential find, as Michelangelo destroyed many of his preparatory works. Yet there’s one featuring his actual fingerprint? (Ka-ching!) But how do you prove it?

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 2014 that Texas Gov. Rick Perry figured how to control unaccompanied immigrant children from squeezing through the border fences: Assign a 1,000-man militia to find them.

WORD OF THE DAY

Obdurate – [ˈäb-də-rət] – adjective

Definition: Stubbornly persistent in wrongdoing.

Example: There’s plenty of obdurate behavior among the day-tripping beachgoers who leave their trash five feet from the trash bin.

WIT OF THE DAY

“He didn't even have the satisfaction of being killed for civil rights. It had to be some silly little Communist.”

- Jackie Kennedy

BIDEN BLURB

“During the 1960s, I was, in fact, very concerned about the civil rights movement.”

-Joe Biden 

WEATHER IN A WORD

Hazy