The Jaffe Briefing - June 17, 2021
RANDOLPH – This local school board can’t seem to help itself; it keeps finding ways to inadvertently make news. First, it makes news by changing Columbus Day to Indigenous Persons Day, angering residents. Then, it makes news by eliminating all holidays on the school calendar, further angering residents. Then, it makes news, as angry residents call for the immediate resignation of the entire school board and the superintendent. And the latest? Patch reports the school board is holding a special meeting at 5:30 p.m. Monday with one agenda item: Reverting the school calendar to its status before the May 13 board meeting, putting Columbus Day back on the calendar and making this whole silly matter moot. Expect angry residents and yet another cycle for this story. Thank you, school board.
TRENTON – In an 11th hour move – just as students with disabilities were about to “age-out” and graduate at age 21 – Gov. Phil Murphy is giving them another year of schooling to make up for all the lost learning throughout the lingering pandemic. It’s an expensive decision – with a price tag of nearly $600 million that the feds will cover to serve upwards of 8,700 students statewide. "So be it,” the governor says. “This is one of these things where we take the step regardless of the price tag, because it is absolutely, without question and hesitation, the right thing to do.” Agreed, as having them “catch up” later in life will cost considerably more – without all this generous federal aid.
STATEWIDE – Teens who have spent the lion’s share of the past year at home, likely glued to a screen or two, may be seeing some drastic changes this summer – including a swift boot out of the house. Some state lawmakers are proposing that teens can work up to 50 hours a week through Labor Day. Typically, kids aged 16 and 17 are limited to working 40 hours a week, six days a week. But with the state’s tourism industry exploding and a significant gap in the amount of available workers, some see expanded teen labor as a viable solution. And, hey, it keeps them off Xbox.
BRIEFING BREATHER
Hunting unicorns is legal in Michigan.
NEW BRUNSWICK – Not only can we get excited about the Rutgers basketball team, state leaders may also allow us to make a buck or two off the glorious wins. There’s now a bill working through the Legislature that would ultimately result in a ballot question, asking voters this November if it would be ok to legally bet on New Jersey sports teams or championship tournaments that are being played here. Lots of gambling revenue is being left on the table, one of the key reasons state lawmakers are rolling the dice on this ballot question.
STOCKTON – If you are a developer with a grandiose plan – and a Facebook group triple the size of the town’s population is against you – well, forget it. That’s the lesson for a New Hope, Pa. developer who tried to get an approval to revamp and expand the 300-year-old Stockton Inn. No one seemed to care that the developer was ready to invest $15 million into modernizing the shuttered inn with hotel rooms, a wellness center and even an amphitheater, NJ.com reports. “Hell no,” was the message from a Facebook group titled “Protect the Stockton Inn, Help Save Our Town.” The developer’s plans are now withdrawn.
IN THE MEDIA
TRENTON – For years, there have been state lawmakers (and former Gov. Chris Christie) who have tried to kill the state’s newspapers by stripping funding for “cost-saving measures.” The latest was a fast-tracked bill that would have allowed sheriffs statewide to advertise the sale of foreclosed homes online, at no cost, on their own websites. The bill was scheduled to go before the Assembly on Monday, but luckily failed to make it out of committee once legislators realized the dire effect. Newspapers, who were once bankrolled by those glorious department store ads, now see those full-color, full-page ad spaces comprising gold auctioneers, gutter companies and other low-cost advertisers. Without the sheriff’s sales and legal ads, many of the smaller papers in the state would immediately close shop. Politicians who claim that stripping these print ads is just about saving money are hiding an obvious motive.
Happy Tessellation Day! (Tessellation is when the same shapes can be repeated again and again to fit perfectly against themselves. Check out your tiled kitchen floor as an example.)
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
SOUTH RIVER, ONTARIO – Throughout the year, the same storyline appears: Guy goes to thrift shop, guy buys painting for a couple of bucks, guy learns it is worth a fortune. The latest story, of the same story, comes from South River, where a guy finds a painting in a thrift shop, on sale for $4.09. “Sure,” he says. “I’ll buy it. Whatever.” It was then appraised and – hey, wouldn’t you know? – it was painted by David Bowie between 1994 and 1997. And now this painting is on the auction block, set to go for $12,000 or so. Call us shocked.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
Bruce Springsteen picked up plenty of new ideas for love songs on this day in 1988, when he and Juliette Phillips separated.
WORD OF THE DAY
Anfractuous – [an-FRAK-chuh-wus] – adjective
Definition: full of windings and intricate turnings, torture
Example: Playing “Pole Position,” the road always winds an anfractuous course.
WIT OF THE DAY
“Victory is sweetest when you’ve known defeat.”
- Malcolm Forbes
BIDEN BLURB
“You want to know whether we're better off? I've got a little bumper sticker for you: Osama bin Laden is dead and General Motors is alive.”
-Joe Biden
WEATHER IN A WORD
Ten