The Jaffe Briefing - June 15, 2021

RANDOLPH – Maybe the people here are getting too much media coverage. After the school board concocted the silly plan to erase all holidays from the school calendar – following a decision to scrub away Columbus Day – reporters have been all over. The story should have run its cycle, yet townsfolk are now demanding the heads of the superintendent and the school board. Really? Yes, they are calling for everyone somehow connected to be fired. As the janitors now hide in the mop closet, and teachers deem it a lovely time for a mental health day, there is a modern-day mob in the form of an online petition with 2,500 signatures. The superintendent and the school board have apparently “disgraced” the community and “represent everything that is wrong in education” and are “completely incompetent in every aspect of their role.” Fine, but back on this planet, where were all these so-called educational experts during the countless hours of real work, with school officials studying budgets, curricula and personnel moves in front of empty meeting rooms? This is our last story about Randolph, unless, of course, the mob buys new pitchforks.

TRENTON – Among the hardest hit students in this pandemic have been those with severe special needs. And that is why the state Legislature placed a bill on the governor’s desk two weeks ago, providing these young men and women with an extra year of educational services to catch up. So, rather than these students “aging out” at age 21, the proposed law would extend their services. Currently, the bill remains unsigned. Special education advocates are getting rightfully nervous, as graduations are happening and families need to know if their kids have options. The governor’s office is now “assessing the fiscal reality,” Politico reports, as school districts would need to foot the bill on all this additional special education. As pretty much every article currently written notes the state’s $6.4 billion pot of federal pandemic aid, it’s hard to find the problem here.

STATEWIDE – Would you accept federal aid so you don’t accept federal aid? Ok, that question is a bit confusing. But Rep. Josh Gottheimer is proposing that people receive a one-time payment of $500 from Uncle Sam to stop getting enhanced unemployment insurance benefits from, you guessed it, Uncle Sam. That money can come from this same $6.4 billion pot of pandemic aid that New Jersey is receiving. Gottheimer says it is absolutely critical that unemployed people get back to work. Agreed. But with all these extra federal benefits people are receiving, is $500 enough of a sweetener to nudge them back as the glorious Jersey summer beckons?

BRIEFING BREATHER

“Schoolmaster” is an anagram of “the classroom.”

STATEWIDE – It was nice while it lasted, but those bills need to get paid. Those with piles of unpaid utility bills will have to enroll in a payment plan by the end of the year or face shut-offs. Gov. Phil Murphy says it is finally time to end the 15-month moratorium on utility shut-offs on July 1, but is generously giving people six months to straighten things out with the utility companies. For those who thought these mounting bills would magically disappear, sorry. But maybe, again, with that $6.4 billion in pandemic aid from the feds, there may be some gold left to offset that eye-popping final balance.

IN THE MEDIA

TRENTON – Reporters can finally file those “ripped from the headlines” stories, as news that all the courtroom drama is gloriously returning to New Jersey. Imagine being a courthouse reporter without a courthouse. But beginning today, finally, reporters can actually report on live trials, which had been suspended for more than a year because of the pandemic. Priority goes to people sitting in jail, so we should soon see thousands of nice and juicy criminal cases appearing on the docket and, thus, in the paper. You just can’t get that feel of the hushed courtroom, with a pending verdict, on a Zoom call. Start concocting your excuse for jury duty.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

BROOKSVILLE, Fla. – In the latest “only from Florida” news, this speck of a town accidentally sold its water tower in a real estate blunder for the ages. Here’s how it went down: A businessman purchased a municipal-owned building under the town’s water tower for just $55,000, hoping to convert it into a gym. But when the investor went to the county to get the official address of his new enterprise, he learned he was also the proud owner of the entire water tower site, the Tampa Bay Times reports. The investor – being a good guy – transferred the water tower back to Brooksville at no charge, but certainly with a snicker. Meanwhile, the city manager is blaming “a bad legal description” to explain the dumbness. Oh, and also the redevelopment director “resigned” following this mess.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY 

It was this day in 1994 that the Giants give Phil Simms the boot.

WORD OF THE DAY

Peach – [PEECH] – verb

Definition: To turn informer; blab

Example: Will I ever find out who peached me after that 11th grade math test?

WIT OF THE DAY

“The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.”

-Thomas Jefferson

BIDEN BLURB

“We Americans think, in every country in transition, there's a Thomas Jefferson hiding behind some rock or a James Madison beyond one sand dune.”

-Joe Biden 

WEATHER IN A WORD

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