The Jaffe Briefing - June 8, 2021

ROSELLE PARK – Free speech or just downright offensive? A municipal court judge is set to hear arguments Thursday at 9 a.m., when a Willow Avenue homeowner is set to plead her case. There are political flags flying, one that blares “Fuck Biden,” while another shows former President Trump raising middle fingers. As classy as this all seems, the town has an issue with the display, noting an obvious ordinance that prohibits “obscene, pornographic or lewd messages” in this suburban community. This homeowner, of course, has no plans of removing the signs, has retained an attorney and is ready to fight for her First Amendment rights, dammit. Sigh. Let’s break the silliness down to common sense. Little Susie, walking home from the Aldene Elementary School a block away, is now wondering the definition of “fuck.” That means the signs should not be there. And it is painful to have to argue the obvious.

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – In today’s Republican primary for governor, Hirsh Singh is holding tight to the Trump banner, hoping that all the MAGA conservative Trump fans rush to his corner in a surprise victory for their supreme leader. But, Politico notes, it does not seem Trump actually endorsed any New Jersey Republican in today’s contest. Someone posted an endorsement from Trump on Twitter, which a political advisor for Trump deemed as “fake.” This all follows the same narrative of Trump world, where you never exactly know what is real, what is distorted, what is a crazy lie and what is – get this – the actual, pure truth.

TRENTON – Let’s just assume Gov. Phil Murphy breathlessly awaits this newsletter each morning, so he can decide how to act on the critical issues of the day. Of course, that’s completely ridiculous. But, hmm. Yesterday we wrote about how these poor students across New Jersey are sweltering in classrooms without air conditioning, forced to wear masks. And then BOOM! The governor dashes out a directive, saying masks no longer need to be worn on these super-hot days when learning is impossible. Our message to tens of thousands of grateful, and perspiring, New Jersey students: You are welcome.

BRIEFING BREATHER

The majority of your brain is fat.

TRENTON – Pile on the pension payments. That may be the plan, as New Jersey is flush with disposable cash at this one strange moment in time. It is so strange, in fact, that Murphy is the first governor in 25 years not to shortchange the pension system, with plans to deposit $6.4 billion in the fiscal ’21 budget. And now, Politico reports, state lawmakers may add even more cash in the pension fund, beyond what is required, as a bold, unprecedented stroke to begin getting the state’s pension system on the right track. That would be a tremendous effort to reduce long-term debt, making it cheaper for New Jersey to borrow money. For once, we may not squander an opportunity to significantly reduce debt that had once seemed completely, hopelessly insurmountable.

ASBURY PARK – After 236 performances on Broadway, in which Bruce Springsteen sang about growing up, night after night, you’d think he’d be exhausted telling the same stories that everyone already knows. Yet, “Springsteen on Broadway” will be back on June 26 with additional shows at the St. James Theater, running at least through Sept. 4. That’s another big commitment from the Boss. But it shows he is happiest in front of an adoring crowd, and the paycheck isn’t that bad either. So, let’s hear again about life in Freehold in the 1960s. Maybe there is a new nugget, as we sing along, again, to Thunder Road.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

HONG KONG – We spend a lot of time complaining about what things cost in Jersey, so it is sad to see us lose a key grumbling point by reporting this story. Alas, we must. A parking space in a rich Hong Kong neighborhood has just sold for a completely outrageous  $1.3 million – a new world record. The buyer – likely hugely embarrassed by flittering away so much cash on a 134-square-foot parking space – did not disclose his or her identity. But, in shelling out a price akin to $9,500 a square foot, the cost shattered the previous record of $969,000, also in Hong Kong. Meanwhile, someone, somewhere, is laughing uncontrollably, counting all of his HKD.  

LAW TALK

Attorney: ALL your responses MUST be oral. OK? What school did you go to?

Witness: Oral

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

Could there be a sporting career after playing for the New York Jets? Mark Gastineau thinks so, on this day in 1991, when he knocks out his first professional boxing opponent in just 12 seconds.

WORD OF THE DAY

Solipsism – [SOH-lip-sih-zum] – noun

Definition: A theory holding that the self can know nothing but its own modifications and that the self is the only existent thing

Example: The solipsism from all those months of wearing masks, staying home and social distancing has me seeing everything in relation to my current problem: figuring out where and when it is socially acceptable to be unmasked.

WIT OF THE DAY

“Our great power does not mean we can do whatever we want whenever we want, nor should we assume we have all the wisdom and knowledge necessary to succeed.”

- John McCain

BIDEN BLURB

“Look, John’s last-minute economic plan does nothing to tackle the number one job facing the middle class, and it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S.”

-Joe Biden 

WEATHER IN A WORD

Steamy