The Jaffe Briefing - May 18, 2021
TRENTON – No masks in Pennsylvania and New York. So, the same deal for Jersey, right? Well, not yet. Gov. Phil Murphy shocked the civilized world by not just following along with our neighbors, who lifted mask requirements for indoor gatherings. Murphy says, “we’re still not out of the woods,” yet. But we can now all jump on a train into NYC to mix and mingle indoors, unmasked. Our cautious governor does not want New Jersey to backslide, as our COVID numbers have steadily dropped. But some good news: the 10-month-old outdoor mask mandate here is gone. Breathe freely friends; it promises to be a beautiful spring day in New Jersey.
TRENTON – Gov. Phil Murphy made smoking weed officially legal on Friday, with three bills that allow you to fire up a joint pretty much anywhere you darn well please. But you still can’t get stoned in many public places and certainly not on a public beach, NJ.com reports. Enforcement is now next to nil, as per state law. Think about private golf courses, swim clubs, beer gardens and other venues, where the bong can freely pass. So, how do New Jersey’s pot smokers play this? Our guess is that pot smoking is now akin to cigar smoking. If people find it offensive, go somewhere else. And, of course, be nice about it.
TRENTON – State coffers are absolutely bursting at the moment, with $6.3 billion spilling out into the hallways and down the stairs. And now state officials say they have found even more cash under the couch cushions, reporting there are hundreds of millions of more dollars flowing into the state during this unprecedented - and, dare we say, “shocking” - anomaly in New Jersey’s budgetary history. There is now a robust - and unexpected - collection of sales taxes and fees on home sales, as people continue to spend like crazy. There is no final figure yet, but the state treasurer says a “federally-induced surge in consumer spending” is allowing the state to rake in money, with final revenue forecasts for fiscal ’21 expected later this week, NJ.com reports. It’s all fabulous, with the hopes that someone, somewhere, can pay off the state’s heaping debt.
BRIEFING BREATHER
Cats are unable to taste anything sweet.
TRENTON – Save the kangaroo? No, we are not reporting from the Outback. There just happens to be some bipartisan legislation in Trenton known as the “Kangaroo Protection Act of 2021.” It apparently is a big deal, and has an official bill number, S. 3774. It even has some heavy-hitter sponsors: the majority and minority leaders of the New Jersey state Senate. Politico reports that Majority Leader Loretta Weinberg and Minority Leader Tom Kean Jr. have come together to call for a ban on the sale of products, such as shoes, made with kangaroo parts. Violators would face a $1,000 fine and 30 days in the slammer, if you dare try to sell, say, a kangaroo belt. “That’s one of the largest bipartisan agreements in the State of New Jersey,” Weinberg said in a phone interview with Politico, jokingly. Good to see this Dynamic Duo working together. Next up: finally addressing Jersey-based elephant tusks.
GALLOWAY – Stockton University is taking a huge step forward in mandating that all students take courses on the impact of race and racism in America. The Philly Inquirer notes Stockton will be one of just a few universities to add these hot topics to earn a degree in any area of study. It makes perfect sense that the only way to deal with racism is to have honest conversations about it, as 20 faculty members at Stockton will undergo training this summer to learn how to teach the course. Such a course could also hopefully address the more macro issues of race, color and religion – all of which have prompted mass genocide and war on the entire planet since the earliest of times, and continue to do so. Perhaps ending hate on Earth begins with some mandatory college classes in Atlantic County, as we need to start somewhere.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
CANBERRA, Australia – We’re all seeking the secret to a long life, the never-ending quest. Look no further for sage advice than to Australia’s oldest-ever man, now 111. His secret? Eating chicken brains. Retired cattle rancher Dexter Kruger told the Australian Broadcasting Corp. that this poultry delicacy is a major factor behind his long life. “Chicken brains. You know, chickens have a head. And in there, there’s a brain. And they are delicious little things,” Kruger said. “There’s only one little bite.” There ya go.
LAW TALK
Attorney: She had three children, right?
Witness: Yes
Attorney: How many were boys?
Witness: None
Attorney: How many were girls?
Witness: Your Honor, I think I need another attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
Powered with a six-pack or two, it was this day in 1956 that Mickey Mantle hits homers from both sides of the plate.
WORD OF THE DAY
Judder – [ juhd-er] – verb
Definition: To vibrate violently
Example: Don’t you miss being on a PATH train that judders and groans?
WIT OF THE DAY
“Complaining about a problem without posing a solution is called whining.”
-Teddy Roosevelt
BIDEN BLURB
“I promise you, the president has a big stick. I promise you.”
-Joe Biden
WEATHER IN A WORD
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