The Jaffe Briefing - March 22, 2021
STATEWIDE – A mandatory vaccination card? You saw this coming, as Gov. Phil Murphy is now throwing out the idea of how proof of vaccination could serve as a passport to a fun-filled, normal summer for us, CNBC reports. “Don’t get rid of the card, that’s likely to be something valuable,” Murphy said, noting it could be your gateway to seeing a live ball game or boarding an airplane. Of course, this is controversial stuff, as our governor urges us all to “laminate it and put it in your wallet.” Many Republicans were quick to pounce, calling such a suggestion a “health privacy minefield,” adding the New Jerseyans have the right to keep their health care decisions between themselves and their doctor. And, apparently, they don’t need Murphy in the waiting room, awaiting with his state-issued lamination machine.
NEW BRUNSWICK – There’s plenty of emotion from last night’s heartbreaking loss for the Rutgers basketball team. We can talk about who did what, as this nail biter slipped through our fingers in the final two minutes. Or we can talk about what truly matters: How this team played a blistering schedule in the Big 10, taking on the giants in college basketball week after week, and almost clinching a spot in the Sweet 16 of this tournament. We can talk about how the team played an entire season without its full-throated home crowd, and managed to play all its games despite this pandemic, with all the rules that kept the team isolated. We can talk about a terrific coach who managed to turn around a program dismissed as a perennial national joke and a team of kids who played with pure heart and have never quit. Despite last night’s score, which will never grace this page, let’s focus on what really matters: New Jersey has a premier college basketball program, able to now recruit the best players in the nation. Let’s see what talent coach Steve Pikiell brings in; he has an inspiring story to tell when he hits the road to recruit.
PISCATAWAY – The obvious “Pride of Piscataway” made some memories for Miami-bound spring breakers last week, going berserk on a flight less than an hour after departing Newark. It began when a passenger put his arms up to keep the Piscataway High School grad from falling on him. The suspect then grew enraged, NJ.com reports, pulling off his mask and shouting “Don’t f------ talk to me! Don’t f------ touch me!” Then, this crazy guy punched the passenger in the face and head, breaking his glasses, cutting his ear, and then trying to pull his shirt over his head. The passenger then slugged another guy in the nose, as the flight attendant rushed over with zip-ties, which passengers used to place the 45-year-old man’s wrists in restraints. Then, a doctor whipped out a shot of Benadryl, sticking it in the man’s buttocks to sedate him for the remainder of the trip. By the time cops got to him, the suspect was face down on the floor, his shirt covering his face, and his wrists restrained with zip-ties and a belt. Airport police found 2 grams of meth on the man, who proudly notes on Facebook that he is a branch manager for a mortgage company.
STATEWIDE – Sure, being President of the United States could be a nice gig. But it looks like Chris Christie has found something much better – appointed to the Board of Directors of the New York Mets. It is completely unclear what the former governor will do; you never really hear anything from a baseball team’s board. There must obviously be some perks. Maybe some cash, maybe extra cheese on the nachos, maybe a post-game opportunity to run the bases. Christie – who has an opinion about pretty much everything – has been a Mets fan for 53 years and counting. So, expect this to be a very active board member, eager to provide frequent in-game calls to the dugout with “suggestions.”
BRIEFING BREATHER
You are 13.8 percent more likely to die on your birthday.
JACKSON – People here thwarted a 100-inmate prison work farm that Ocean County proposed back in 1980s. History may now repeat itself as county commissioners and a Toms River councilman are suggesting those 11 acres now become a homeless refuge. The Shore News Network says Councilman Terrance Turnbach, who last fall said he'd “gladly build a homeless shelter in his own backyard,” is instead working with Ocean County officials to help non-profit do-gooders build regional housing for the homeless on the Cedar Swamp Road site, vacant for the past 30 years. It’s primo-property, across the road from a private golf course and not far from Great Adventure. At least the homeless won’t have to travel too far for a tee-time, advocates argue.
ENGLEWOOD – Worst babysitter ever? Likely, as a clearly preoccupied girl failed to realize a couple broke into a Cedar Street home where she was watching an infant. Cops tell the Daily Voice that the two brazen intruders snacked from the fridge, showered after sex in a bedroom and snuggled in the family’s bathrobes before the oblivious babysitter had a clue that the lovebirds had been all over the house. The babysitter told cops she only got a glimpse of the fleeing duo after hearing odd noises from a nursery room monitor. The Pennsylvania couple, now in custody, escaped with jewelry, cash and the family’s Lincoln Navigator. They got all the way to Suffern, NY before State Police – tracking the victims’ stolen iPhones – made the arrest.
IN THE MEDIA
LAKEWOOD - A highly questionable photo caption in the Asbury Park Press has caught the attention of the New Jersey Globe, reporting the newspaper used "profanity, misogynism and a derogatory ethnic term" in a photo gallery. OK, get ready. Here we go. It reads: “A fucking hot nurse, a total JAP, loads a syringe with a dose of the Moderna COVID-19 vaccine during an in the Center for Health Education, Medicine and Dentistry vaccination tent in Lakewood, New Jersey, Thursday, Feb. 25, 2021.” No comment from the photographer nor his editor; the newspaper later changed the caption before removing the photo entirely.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
DOYLESTOWN, Pa. – Hey, you do what you want on your off time. But a county prosecutor using his lunch hour to deliver food for DoorDash? Well, that’s a real problem in Bucks County, where the DA has demoted one of his lawyers for moonlighting for DoorDash when the courts were open. And, so, the guy earning $125,000 annually as the office’s first assistant district attorney is now a deputy district attorney, The Bucks County Courier Times reports. Apparently, the lawyer has been doing deliveries during his lunch hour from October to February, which he now describes to the newspaper as an “incredibly poor decision.”
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
The winds of change swept through the U.S. Congress on this day in 1988, when it voted to override President Reagan’s veto and adopt a landmark civil rights bill.
WORD OF THE DAY
Prevaricate – [prih-VAIR-uh-kayt] – verb
Definition: To deviate from the truth
Example: Some of the people in line will readily prevaricate to secure a vaccine and, thus, one of those Murphy passports to fun.
WIT OF THE DAY
“The rights of every man are diminished when the rights of one man are threatened."
-John F. Kennedy
BIDEN BLURB
“No President of the United States could represent the United States were he not committed to human rights. If you don't understand this, you can't deal with us.”
-Joe Biden
WEATHER IN A WORD
Glorious