The Jaffe Briefing - December 9, 2020
STATEWIDE – ELECTION FRAUD! Sorry, couldn’t help blaring that with no evidence. But, the Record is reporting that 66,000 ballots were deliberately uncounted in New Jersey from Election Day. This 1.4% rejection rate was mostly prompted because signatures on the ballots did not match voter signatures on file or because the voter certificates on the ballot envelopes were missing. (Conspiracy?? You decide!) This information – which had zero impact on the election results – was revealed when the state certified that 4.6 million Garden State voters cast ballots, with a record 72% turnout. Expect those still living in grandma’s basement to have many theories as to why New Jersey’s election was “stolen,” based on these “missing” and “uncounted” ballots, and those late-night ballot dumps. Revenge in ’24!
TRENTON – The State Senate is moving a bill that would block town councils from investigating their own members, or investigate any former officers or city employees. Politico reports this all stems from Sen. Nicholas Scutari’s ongoing battles with the Linden City Council, which famously investigated him over a municipal attorney job he held for years. This bill (which Scutari is sponsoring) appears to be a partisan thing, with Democrats on the Senate committee voting “Yea” and the Republicans voting “No.” You can argue both sides. No, there shouldn’t be “investigations” led by politicians who want to play politics. However, bad public officials should be called out. Maybe we leave this one to the voters.
BRIEFING BREATHER
Goosebumps are meant to ward off predators.
NEWARK – Penn Station is a beautiful building, but what a dump. Gov. Phil Murphy has noticed, calling for an immediate $190 million facelift to this central rail hub. TAPInto Newark notes it remains unclear how the state will fund the five-year project, as we all know New Jersey is hopelessly broke. But, still, the governor wants restoration of the benches in the waiting room, brighter lighting, better restrooms, improved HVAC and air-handling, fresh paint and tile, and a deep scrub of the building’s limestone exterior. For those who question the need of this facelift, ask yourself when was the last time you weren’t skeeved to be in Newark Penn Station. There’s a lot of potential underneath that grime.
STATEWIDE – New Jerseyans don’t want anyone up in our business, so there’s little surprise that the state’s contact tracing program is failing. Gov. Phil Murphy says a “whopping” 74% of us won’t talk to the contact tracers, even though more and more of them are getting hired to reach every town. Those testing positive should expect calls from these contact tracers, trying to ascertain where and when they caught the virus. Responses, to the tune of “Beat it,” “Go play in traffic” and perhaps some more colorful, Jersey-only phrases are prevailing, if people are even willing to get on the phone with these state representatives. "Quite frankly this is unacceptable and we need folks to turn that around," Murphy said, reminding us all – once again – that this is not a “witch hunt.”
IN THE MEDIA
WESTCHESTER, NY - Readers who scanned the front page of The Journal News in search of actual local news one recent Sunday were disappointed – likely the first time a regional daily dedicated the entire front page to news unrelated to its readers. Poynter, a nonprofit industry watchdog, took notice and promptly slammed the paper. The Sunday issue played up two articles with zero connection to Westchester, Rockland or Putnam counties, and added some front-page ads. Blame the owner, Gannett, now merging with GateHouse, which has decimated journalism to chase dwindling ad dollars. It also keeps laying off reporters, perhaps why its remaining Journal News readers awoke to a cover story produced by Gannett’s South Jersey news staff and recycled for readers in suburban New York. Readers have clearly noticed: the newspaper’s subscribers are 32,500 paid for Sunday and 24,582 daily – down from the 2015 totals of 73,848 Sunday and 55,611 daily. Put out a half-assed product, get full-assed results.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
SOMEWHERE IN THE 1980s - They’re going to party like it’s 1989 at the 2024 Paris Games. The breakdancing craze of the Eighties that prompted drunken uncles to moonwalk over wedding dance floors everywhere is making a glorious return: as an Olympic sport. (No, we are not kidding.) Not sure if the United States is a break-dancing powerhouse or who will be chosen to defend our national pride (Vanilla Ice? Zoolander? Carlton Banks from “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air”?) But it’s already stirred up strong feelings amongst other athletes. Australian squash great Michelle Martin claimed the addition of break dancing has made a “mockery” of the Olympics. So def, dope and fly!
BAR GRAMMAR
A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1980 that candlelight vigils begin at Strawberry Fields in Central Park, as the world comes to grip with John Lennon’s murder.
WORD OF THE DAY
Paucity – [PAW-suh-tee] – noun
Definition: Smallness of numbers
Example: There’s been a paucity of selection in the wine aisle, as this pandemic drags through another month.
WIT OF THE DAY
“Those who lose accept the verdict and support those who win.”
-Richard M. Nixon
TODAY'S TRUMPISM
“Late night ballot `dumps’ went crazy.”
-Donald J. Trump
WEATHER IN A WORD
Sad
THE NEW 60
A Jaffe Briefing Exclusive
by Andy Landorf & John Colquhoun
TheNew60Comic.Com
STATEWIDE – ELECTION FRAUD! Sorry, couldn’t help blaring that with no evidence. But, the Record is reporting that 66,000 ballots were deliberately uncounted in New Jersey from Election Day. This 1.4% rejection rate was mostly prompted because signatures on the ballots did not match voter signatures on file or because the voter certificates on the ballot envelopes were missing. (Conspiracy?? You decide!) This information – which had zero impact on the election results – was revealed when the state certified that 4.6 million Garden State voters cast ballots, with a record 72% turnout. Expect those still living in grandma’s basement to have many theories as to why New Jersey’s election was “stolen,” based on these “missing” and “uncounted” ballots, and those late-night ballot dumps. Revenge in ’24!
TRENTON – The State Senate is moving a bill that would block town councils from investigating their own members, or investigate any former officers or city employees. Politico reports this all stems from Sen. Nicholas Scutari’s ongoing battles with the Linden City Council, which famously investigated him over a municipal attorney job he held for years. This bill (which Scutari is sponsoring) appears to be a partisan thing, with Democrats on the Senate committee voting “Yea” and the Republicans voting “No.” You can argue both sides. No, there shouldn’t be “investigations” led by politicians who want to play politics. However, bad public officials should be called out. Maybe we leave this one to the voters.
BRIEFING BREATHER
Goosebumps are meant to ward off predators.
NEWARK – Penn Station is a beautiful building, but what a dump. Gov. Phil Murphy has noticed, calling for an immediate $190 million facelift to this central rail hub. TAPInto Newark notes it remains unclear how the state will fund the five-year project, as we all know New Jersey is hopelessly broke. But, still, the governor wants restoration of the benches in the waiting room, brighter lighting, better restrooms, improved HVAC and air-handling, fresh paint and tile, and a deep scrub of the building’s limestone exterior. For those who question the need of this facelift, ask yourself when was the last time you weren’t skeeved to be in Newark Penn Station. There’s a lot of potential underneath that grime.
STATEWIDE – New Jerseyans don’t want anyone up in our business, so there’s little surprise that the state’s contact tracing program is failing. Gov. Phil Murphy says a “whopping” 74% of us won’t talk to the contact tracers, even though more and more of them are getting hired to reach every town. Those testing positive should expect calls from these contact tracers, trying to ascertain where and when they caught the virus. Responses, to the tune of “Beat it,” “Go play in traffic” and perhaps some more colorful, Jersey-only phrases are prevailing, if people are even willing to get on the phone with these state representatives. "Quite frankly this is unacceptable and we need folks to turn that around," Murphy said, reminding us all – once again – that this is not a “witch hunt.”
IN THE MEDIA
WESTCHESTER, NY - Readers who scanned the front page of The Journal News in search of actual local news one recent Sunday were disappointed – likely the first time a regional daily dedicated the entire front page to news unrelated to its readers. Poynter, a nonprofit industry watchdog, took notice and promptly slammed the paper. The Sunday issue played up two articles with zero connection to Westchester, Rockland or Putnam counties, and added some front-page ads. Blame the owner, Gannett, now merging with GateHouse, which has decimated journalism to chase dwindling ad dollars. It also keeps laying off reporters, perhaps why its remaining Journal News readers awoke to a cover story produced by Gannett’s South Jersey news staff and recycled for readers in suburban New York. Readers have clearly noticed: the newspaper’s subscribers are 32,500 paid for Sunday and 24,582 daily – down from the 2015 totals of 73,848 Sunday and 55,611 daily. Put out a half-assed product, get full-assed results.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
SOMEWHERE IN THE 1980s - They’re going to party like it’s 1989 at the 2024 Paris Games. The breakdancing craze of the Eighties that prompted drunken uncles to moonwalk over wedding dance floors everywhere is making a glorious return: as an Olympic sport. (No, we are not kidding.) Not sure if the United States is a break-dancing powerhouse or who will be chosen to defend our national pride (Vanilla Ice? Zoolander? Carlton Banks from “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air”?) But it’s already stirred up strong feelings amongst other athletes. Australian squash great Michelle Martin claimed the addition of break dancing has made a “mockery” of the Olympics. So def, dope and fly!
BAR GRAMMAR
A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1980 that candlelight vigils begin at Strawberry Fields in Central Park, as the world comes to grip with John Lennon’s murder.
WORD OF THE DAY
Paucity – [PAW-suh-tee] – noun
Definition: Smallness of numbers
Example: There’s been a paucity of selection in the wine aisle, as this pandemic drags through another month.
WIT OF THE DAY
“Those who lose accept the verdict and support those who win.”
-Richard M. Nixon
TODAY'S TRUMPISM
“Late night ballot `dumps’ went crazy.”
-Donald J. Trump
WEATHER IN A WORD
Sad
THE NEW 60
A Jaffe Briefing Exclusive
by Andy Landorf & John Colquhoun
TheNew60Comic.Com