The Jaffe Briefing - November 18, 2020
AT HOME – The fact that you’ve been wearing pajama bottoms to every Zoom work meeting is a nice, little perk. But now comes along a few starched-shirt sourpusses at Deutsch Bank, determined to kill that at-home vibe by suggesting an additional tax should be slapped upon those lucky enough to work from the couch. Such a tax would offset losses to the industry that caters to daytime workers, such as the lunch guy, or the coffee guy or the newspaper guy. Deutsch Bank economists argue that the economy is not set up to cope with people who can disconnect themselves from face-to-face society, blah, blah, blah. And that is why they think at-home workers should pay more taxes for the privilege. Call it the Fuzzy Bunny Slipper Tax - costing dressed-down, work-from-home employees $10 a day. It’s enough to make you go from UGGS to ugh.
STATEWIDE – As drug companies across the globe spend billions to rush a COVID vaccine to market, and hopefully put an end to this terrible pandemic, New Jerseyans seem generally unimpressed. In fact, four out of 10 of us “probably” or “definitely” would not want to get vaccinated from the first-generation version of the first vaccine that gets fed approval. That is according to a Rutgers-Eagleton poll, which also reports many of us are worried about side effects and want more information before we willingly inject some type of cocktail into our arms. No surprise here; skepticism is engrained into the New Jerseyan psyche at birth.
TRENTON – Under the “boring but important” department, state treasury officials are planning a huge bond sale today, raking in $4.3 billion to cover all the expenses of running the State of New Jersey during this lingering pandemic. Yes, this is a dizzying amount of debt, but state officials say there is one, slight silver lining: the state managed to get a “favorable interest rate” that is below 1.95%. What good news, apparently, as taxpayers will have to pay all these bonds back over the next 12 years. Here is hoping, miraculously, that all the money somehow comes from federal aid as our state budget is already drowning with debt payments, pre-COVID.
STATEWIDE – Yes, these are jittery times, especially for families. And while parents are certainly concerned about their kids catching the virus, they are more worried that these children are falling behind with all this “hybrid” and “remote” education for months on end. JerseyCAN, an education advocacy group, reports that 57% of those polled are worried about children getting sick, while 64% of them are more concerned about their education. A majority of parents believe remote learning has gotten better since it was concocted in the spring, but only 42% of respondents deem the experience as “very successful.” Good to know that we are not the only ones fretting about how an ongoing pandemic can destroy the well-rounded high school portfolio we all seek.
BRIEFING BREATHER
In 1998, more fast-food employees were murdered on the job than police officers.
FAIR LAWN – All that whatnot about free speech and the right to protest are just fine. But local officials still don’t want rabble-rousers getting out-of-control on the front steps of town hall. So, next week the Borough Council is considering a ban on protests so close to the building’s front doors. It’s because, as Mayor Kurt Peluso tells NJNN, in August a peaceful rally to support first responders went all wonky. Groups showed up “carrying Trump flags, Proud Boy flags and … a counter protest from Black Lives Matter.” Borough workers felt so uneasy that police in riot gear were dispatched. Unlike other towns, Fair Lawn doesn't plan to bury protest applications under piles of paperwork or make organizers pay for security. And the mayor says sidewalks will be fair game, just stay off the steps, ok?
NEW BRUNSWICK – Everyone has a story about the roommate from hell. Y’know; the guy who refuses to clean up his pizza boxes, pick up after the damn dog or pay his share of the cable bill. But that all seems light when your roommate happens to be a young Rutgers University cop who enjoys brandishing his gun and ordering you around. A rookie cop is being accused of pointing weapons at his roomie and then pretending to fire. Apparently, this took place on several occasions at the Ocean Township home they shared this summer, reports TAPInto New Brunswick. Prosecutors say the rookie would pull out the gun when asking for rent or ordering the roommate to turn down the volume on the television. The 27-year-old cop would even point the gun at his own girlfriend. Fortunately, authorities have confiscated the cop’s duty weapon, as well as 10 other firearms from his house, before suspending him without pay. Perhaps his next career won’t require firearms; Amway is always seeking sales reps.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
SAN JUAN – If you are a bad cop, can you at least take off the uniform when you decide to shoplift? Police brass are shaking their heads at a 46-year-old cop, who thought it made perfect sense to be in uniform as he tried to steal more than $1,300 from a local Home Depot on Monday night. The police chief tells local media that this bad cop has been “temporarily suspended” from the department for the glaring infraction to the code of conduct. Really; what does it take to get fired from the San Juan Police Department? Perhaps pointing a service revolver at your roommate.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1964 that FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover – a most notorious liar – refers to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. as “a most notorious liar.”
WORD OF THE DAY
Bugbear – [BUG-bair] – noun
Definition: An object or source of dread
Example: The current cap on federal property tax deductions is another bugbear for New Jersey taxpayers.
WIT OF THE DAY
“Elections belong to the people. It's their decision. If they decide to turn their back on the fire and burn their behinds, then they will just have to sit on their blisters.”
-Abraham Lincoln
TODAY'S TRUMPISM
“Dead people voted.”
-Donald J. Trump
WEATHER IN A WORD
Chilly
THE NEW 60
A Jaffe Briefing Exclusive
by Andy Landorf & John Colquhoun
TheNew60Comic.Com
