The Jaffe Briefing - November 17, 2020

STATEWIDE – If coronavirus cases spike any further, Thanksgiving could be celebrated by sitting by yourself in front of Zoom, peeling the plastic back on a freshly-nuked Hungry Man. Gov. Phil Murphy, desperate to control the infection numbers, says “it’s gotten worse and it’s going to get worse.” That’s why he is now capping indoor gatherings at only 10 people, down from 25. That pretty much shatters Ma’s dreams of everyone coming home for Thanksgiving and arguing around the table. Silver lining: the apple cranberry compote can be edible, when properly thawed.

TRENTON – The state Legislature was flying along on a bill that would decriminalize small amounts of marijuana possession, following the ballot question that showed New Jerseyans want legal weed for recreational purposes. But then, for some reason, the over-reaching state Senate introduced a last-minute provision into the bill, adding mushrooms to the mix. That threw the whole bill into a tizzy, as the debate was always about pot, not mushrooms. The Assembly promptly cancelled its vote, to the frustration of many focused on social justice, as this legislation goes back to the drawing board. Now, everyone has to debate if possession of mushrooms should be downgraded to a disorderly offense, taking the spotlight off marijuana and all the progress, to this point, on the bill. Gotta wonder what some senators are eating, as lawmakers hash this out in the coming days.

TRENTON – The new license plate or the old license plate? That’s a silly debate in the state Legislature, distracting us all from the lingering pandemic, insurmountable debt and economic implosion. Some lawmakers have introduced a bill that would bring back the blue-and-yellow license plates that were issued from the late 1970s to the early 1990s. Apparently, there is some nostalgia for the “classic” plates that we all remember as kids and now can only be seen on that old geezer’s dilapidated Jeep Wagoneer. The classic plates, under the bill, would cost a little more than the yellow-and-black ones that have been perfectly fine for the past 30 years. Expect robust discussion on this proposal (A. 4980), a welcomed relief from the real stuff and real decisions.

BRIEFING BREATHER 

Fire moves quicker uphill than downhill.

PISCATAWAY - After the wild celebrations witnessed at Rutgers men’s basketball games last season, no one will ever accuse Scarlet Knights fans of having wooden personalities. Cardboard, maybe. TAPinto New Brunswick reports that the folks at fancutouts.com will convert an image of your scarlet-painted face and jersey-adorned body into a cardboard cutout that will be seated courtside at the RAC for the upcoming season. Prices range from $60 for a fan, $50 for a season ticket holder and $30 for a student. Sadly, it will be the only way to "attend" a game this winter after school officials announced that fans will not be permitted at home games because of the COVID-19 pandemic. So, RU cut out to be a cutout?

NEWARK — Flying the friendly skies wasn’t too friendly for a Muslim social media celeb arrested at Newark Airport after a verbal dispute with a pushy first-class passenger. Now, the Port Authority and American Airlines are investigating claims that Amani al-Khatahtbeh, known as “Muslim Girl,” got treated unfairly when police yanked her from a flight. The incident made national news, triggering rebuke from Muslim groups after al-Khatahtbeh live-streamed Saturday’s fracas as Port Authority cops emptied her plane because a “white male passenger” said she made him “uncomfortable.” The New Jersey Herald says the hijab-cloaked East Brunswick native, who wore a veil over her nose and mouth, faces charges of trespass and delaying take-off. Al-Khatahtbeh, 28, made history in July as New Jersey’s first Muslim woman to run for federal office, in a failed bid to win Rep. Frank Pallone’s Congressional seat.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

FLORIDA – We all know about the “Florida man.” There are countless headline-grabbing memes from the Sunshine State, bringing us such bizarre news stories as the Florida man who called 911 for a ride to Hooters to the Florida man who tried to get an alligator drunk. As we look to the end of 2020, and could all use some guffaws, here are some great “Florida man” headlines of the year, (so far), adding to the pile:

• June 11, 2020: Florida man fights off alligator that attacked his dog
• June 16, 2020: Florida man bitten in the face by alligator while playing disc golf
• July 20, 2020: Florida man tries to evade arrest by cartwheeling away from cops
• Oct. 9, 2020: Florida man catches 18.9-foot Burmese python

THIS DAY IN HISTORY 

It was this day in 1978 that radio newsman Les Nessman, reporting for WKRP in Cincinnati, covers the famous promotional turkey drop at a local shopping mall.

WORD OF THE DAY

Snivel – [SNIV-ul] – verb

Definition: To cry or whine with snuffling

Example: There’s no sniveling in Presidential politics!

WIT OF THE DAY

“Victory is fleeting. Losing is forever.”

-Billie Jean King

TODAY'S TRUMPISM

“I won the Election!”

-Donald J. Trump

WEATHER IN A WORD

Drops

THE NEW 60

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by Andy Landorf & John Colquhoun

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