Skip to main content

The Jaffe Briefing - November 13, 2020

STATEWIDE – There’s not much good news at the moment with 3,517 new COVID cases yesterday in New Jersey. But let’s focus on the positive – the fact that New Jersey will be one of the first states to get a new quick-result COVID test, promising 99% accuracy in just 20 minutes. This new nasal swab is a welcome relief to those who have been stuck in endless lines (See MVC) for testing and then being forced to wait days for results, as they continue on with their lives, not knowing if they are spreaders. It’s unclear when the feds will be handing the Garden State these new rapid molecular tests, but it would be great to have a plan in place for the holidays. Rapid tests make for great stocking stuffers in the endless Year of 2020.

STATEWIDE – There’s certainly good news for those who happen to own gun stores. All this unrest over the past few months has sparked a huge spike in gun sales in New Jersey. (Oh, great.) Yep, the Record is reporting that firearm applications across New Jersey jumped more than 430% from June through August over 2019. Down the shore, some towns even reported an increase of 500%. Gun experts tell the Record that the rise is directly attributed to fears in the rise of crimes, images of civil unrest, the COVID-19 pandemic and worries over possible increased gun control measures as a result of the Biden Administration.

WESTFIELD – So, what are the 10 hottest towns in New Jersey for real estate? Well, if you read the dateline at the beginning of this blurb, it may be a spoiler. Coldwell Banker Realty is out with its list of towns, all of which provide the leafy backyards and plenty of breathing space for those departing the COVID-ravaged cities. The Top 10: Princeton, Bridgewater, Sparta, Madison, Clinton, Closter, Manalapan, Wyckoff, Montclair and – drum roll for Number 1? Westfield, which has seen a 97.1% increase in new listings in August 2020 over 2019, and a 58.3% rise in sales, as New Yorkers flee. 

BRIEFING BREATHER

Walmart has a lower acceptance rate than Harvard University.

(Harvard accepts 4.5% of applicants, Walmart: only 2.6%)

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Apollo Creed. Clubber Lang. Ivan Drago. Now… Hirsh Singh? Yep, we are talking about losers. Yet Singh is not down for the count, appearing on an Atlantic City radio station this week, vowing to send Gov. Phil Murphy fleeing “back to Massachusetts.” The pro-Trump businessman, who’s lost four congressional campaigns since 2017, says he’s “pissed off” at our “corrupt” mail-in ballot system that allows “rigged” elections. Singh faces an uphill fight from his fellow Republicans, with several better-known candidates also seeking Murphy’s job next November. Meanwhile, state Democrats warmly welcome Singh to the race, calling him “a perennial losing candidate” and “COVID-19 conspiracy theorist,” and telling InsiderNJ that Singh is precisely the kind of Republican that Murphy would just love to trounce. So, bring it on.

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Nearly a week after all the major news outlets declared Joe Biden the winner, state Democrats are noting that state Republicans have still not publicly acknowledged the outcome. State Democratic Chair John Currie says it's time for the state GOP to recognize that the president has no path to victory. He calls out potential candidates for governor like Jack Ciatarelli, Doug Steinhardt and, our personal favorite, Hirsh Singh, to publicly acknowledge that Joe Biden and Kamala Harris are the winners. Currie says the continued awkward silence from Jersey’s GOP leaders fans the flames of baseless conspiracies involving the electoral process, harming the public’s faith in our democracy. Republicans will need votes next year, so why not show respect for the will of voters?

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

ON TV – The answer: LeVar Burton. The question: Who should replace the late, great Alex Trebek? More than 10,000 people have signed a petition saying that Jeopardy! should boldly go where no game show has gone before, hiring the former Star Trek star. Burton checks a lot of boxes here. Besides his role in Star Trek and Roots, the actor has long been dedicated to propagating the wonders of the printed word through his show, “Reading Rainbow.” He took to Twitter when support began to mount last month to say, “Not gonna lie, I feel like I've been preparing my whole life to occupy the @Jeopardy host podium when Alex retires.” Let’s beam him up.

ON AIR – Former Jersey political writer – and now an international celebrity for those who crave 24-hour news – Steve Kornacki has also become a fashion influencer, GQ reports. Huh? How? Kornacki, a MSNBC correspondent who stayed up for 48 hours or so to report on the election, is now being known for the khaki-and-tie outfit he wore from at least 5 a.m. last Tuesday to 2 a.m. last Thursday for election coverage. A Gap spokesman said there is now a clear Kornacki Khaki Kraze, as his devotion to these boring pants have led to “dramatic increase in online traffic and within a day, we saw around a 90% unit sale increase online.” The specific pair, in case you are interested, is from Gap’s modern khakis collection, either straight or slim fit. Kornacki prefers “Palomino brown.” Very exciting.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY 

It was this day in 1307 that officers of King Philip IV of France arrested hundreds of the Knights Templar, a powerful religious and military order formed in the 12th century for the defense of the Holy Land.

Imprisoned on charges of various illegal behaviors (but really because the king wanted their money), many Templars were executed. And that’s the origin of the Friday the 13th superstition, some say.

WORD OF THE DAY

Lagniappe – [lanˈyap/] – noun

Definition:  A small gift with a purchase to a customer.

Example: The lagniappe was much more interesting than the thing I purchased to get the lagniappe.

WIT OF THE DAY

“The pen had been mightier than the sword but then the tongue took over.” 

―Amit Abraham

TODAY'S TRUMPISM 

@FoxNews daytime ratings have completely collapsed. Weekend daytime even WORSE. Very sad to watch this happen, but they forgot what made them successful, what got them there. They forgot the Golden Goose. The biggest difference between the 2016 Election, and 2020, was @FoxNews.”

-Donald J. Trump

WEATHER IN A WORD

Soggy 

THE NEW 60
A Jaffe Briefing Exclusive
by Andy Landorf & John Colquhoun
TheNew60Comic.Com