The Jaffe Briefing - November 12, 2020

STATEWIDE - Here’s hoping the next federal stimulus check – if it’s ever cut – is a whopper for New Jersey families. About $57,900 would be nice. That’s the estimated average economic fallout for each taxpayer in New Jersey, according to gobankingrates.com, which studied the financial impact of the COVID-19 pandemic in each state. The study determined that although a third of middle-class households in the country are bringing home less money than they were before the pandemic, New Jerseyans have managed to be in the absolute worst financial situation. It seems that part of this dead-last ranking is that New Jersey entered the pandemic $189.6 billion in debt, collectively. With widespread layoffs, the study estimates 346,052 homeowners are behind on mortgage payments and 280,258 are not caught up on their rent. Brother, can you spare $57,900 (or so)?

STATEWIDE – Inconsistency. That is the best way to describe the public school system in New Jersey. Some school districts who have kept their students at-home all year for “remote learning” are now clawing for opportunities to get the cherubs back in school. Meanwhile, schools that have remained open since September are now trying to go all-remote. It is a tough puzzle; nothing fits. With COVID cases on the rise, some school districts are worried for student and staff safety at school. And others, who have seen the struggles of remote learning, believe the kids are better off in class, among their peers.  Gov. Phil Murphy has the power to make a uniform policy. But, at the moment, there’s just Inconsistency.

BRIEFING BREATHER

Goosebumps are meant to ward off predators.

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Is Tom Kean still alive in his quest for Congress? On election night, it appeared that Democratic Rep. Tom Malinowski walked away with re-election for the Seventh Congressional District. But once the balloons dropped and the champagne was wiped off the floor, political analysts have been quietly watching this race, as vote counts continue to trickle in. NJ Globe reports Malinowski was up by 28,412 votes on election night, but now is only leading by 9,708 votes. It appears that as many as 40,000 votes still need to be counted. And with more Republicans voting in-person, rather than via mail-in ballot, the count can keep swinging Kean’s way. This one isn’t over; leave at least one bottle uncorked.

EDISON – Let the battles begin. In this town, where local politics is often a bare-knuckle blood sport, there’s now another prize for the next mayor. Beginning in 2022, when the new mayoral term begins, the mayor’s salary is to increase from $50,000 to $135,000 as the job becomes full-time with a cushy benefit package. By a 4-2 vote, the Town Council – which includes several wannabe mayors – approved this change. But, current part-time Mayor Thomas Lankey says he may veto it, triggering an override fight. Expect the next campaign to be particularly nasty, as candidates enter this mayoral cage-match to take Edison politics to new depths. Watch on Pay-Per-View, if you can stomach the carnage.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

ROCKMART, Ga. – Not so smart in Rockmart, where police have busted a Dallas woman for posing as an FBI agent to score free food at the local Chick-Fil-A. It wasn’t as if she just said, “FBI! Drop the spork!” No, this lady thought it made perfect sense to threaten arrest for any employee who did not hand over some complimentary chicken. The feds say this wasn’t her first time with this scam at Chick-Fil-A. She was spotted numerous times at the fast-food joint, driving up in a white minivan and threatening arrests for those who refused to comply. Our suggestion for the judge: Argue you are deep, deep undercover, claim the files are sealed and demand the town’s prosecutor prove otherwise.

STATEWIDE – Just in time for more stay at-home orders in this lingering pandemic, the porn industry is reporting an astonishing uptick in the sex robot industry. According to leaders in the “sex tech” industry, it is expected to generate $122 billion in sales by 2024. One manufacturer reports that the demand for sex dolls is 95% female, meaning only 5% of the targeted customers are women seeking their own private Adonis. One “evolutionary psychiatrist” says this trend has some dire effects, making it more difficult for women to access men for casual sex, as the at-home sex robot doesn’t require guys to shower, change clothes, get off the couch or mute the football game.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

“Iceberg Straight Ahead!” was also yelled this day in 1956, when researchers discovered the largest iceberg – at 208 miles by 60 miles.

WORD OF THE DAY

Abnegate – [AB-nih-gayt] – verb

Definition: Deny, renounce

Example: Uncle Mel always makes a good turkey, if you don’t mind abnegating flavor.

WIT OF THE DAY

“Victory is always possible for the person who refuses to stop fighting.”

-Napoleon Hill

TODAY'S TRUMPISM

“Everyone is asking why the recent presidential polls were so inaccurate when it came to me. Because they are FAKE, just like much of the Lamestream Media!”

-Donald J. Trump

WEATHER IN A WORD

Galoshes

THE NEW 60

A Jaffe Briefing Exclusive

by Andy Landorf & John Colquhoun

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