The Jaffe Briefing - November 4, 2020

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – With these election results, New Jersey is going to pot. Marijuana, that is. About 60% of voters said, “Sure, get high if you want. New Jersey could use the extra tax revenue.” So, now, New Jersey joins 11 states and Washington D.C., where the bud grows free, even though it remains illegal on the federal level. Legislation to get rolling is to be introduced tomorrow. Expect demand to quickly overwhelm supply, with an estimated 1 million customers in New Jersey who, at this point, really, truly need to toke up.

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – There was another ballot question; unclear if anyone opposed it. It called for a property tax deduction in New Jersey of $250 for veterans, even if they didn’t serve in times of war.  There are now 53,274 peacetime veterans (at the last count) who will be getting this small “thank you” each year for their service. The argument was a no-brainer: If you enlist (voluntarily or otherwise), and get handed a gun, you assume you are putting your life at danger to defend the Stars and Stripes. And that, alone, is worth this new $13.5 million line item for the state.

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – And yet another ballot question. New Jersey voters also gave the green light to delay legislative redistricting if the Census Bureau is late in delivering population data. Yeah, this is a boring one. But for those who live and die by politics, redistricting is a big, fat, huge deal – as political bosses can boot out the politicians they don’t like by just adjusting the lines a smidge here and a smidge there. State legislative redistricting will move to the spring of 2022 and keep the current districts in place until 2023 if the census data arrives after Feb. 15. Yeah, boring. But important.

BRIEFING BREATHER

The inventor of the Pringles can is now buried in one.

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – With barely a blip, Sen. Cory Booker easily breezed to re-election yesterday. He ran against a challenger who will one day be the answer in a beer-infused political trivia contest, as news columnists order another round. The Associated Press called the race about 0000.2 seconds after the polls closed at 8 p.m. Unlike most of America, it is a great gig to be a Democratic senator from New Jersey, where it is impossible to lose re-election (see Bob Menendez.) Another trivia question for those drunk political columnists: The last Republican senator in New Jersey? Clifford Case in 1972.

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Hey, do you like New Jersey’s congressional delegation? If so, it looks like the gang will be getting back together for at least two more years, as it appears the incumbents were able to keep their seats.  Yeah, yeah, some votes are still being counted. But all the projections appear as if it will be status quo. The big question was Rep. Jeff Van Drew who famously fled the Democrats for the warm, safe bosom of Donald Trump. There, apparently, was some room to earn him two more years in the swamp, now as swampy as ever.

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Oh. So, we also hear there was also a presidential election yesterday. Is that correct? Yes, apparently so. Amazing how all those bleary-eyed political pundits this morning are now saying the election results are exactly how they thought it would go.  The same tie-wearing talking heads who called for a Biden landslide, citing completely wrong polls, now say they always knew it would be a real nail biter, likely ending in the courts. It sure is great to be a pundit. Just like a weatherman or a pollster, it seems perfectly fine to be wrong, over and over.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

WORLDWIDE – After a dizzying 24 hours, or, really, four years, it is time to report some real news: “Baby Shark” is now officially the most viewed video on YouTube.  You know Baby Shark – that infectious kid’s song that buries deep into your skull and refuses to let go. This song – get this – has been viewed more than seven billion times. Congrats to “Pinkfong” – the horrible people who posted this song on the Internet and made children’s birthday parties seem even longer for the bored parents lining the back of the room with plastic smiles. Join the torture here.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 2008 that at least one candidate was elected: Joe Biden as Vice President.

WORD OF THE DAY

Erudite – [AIR-uh-dyte] – adjective

Definition: Having or showing knowledge that is gained by studying

Example: “The politician is formidably erudite but punctuated her campaign stump speeches with the surprisingly refrain of 'ya know?'

WIT OF THE DAY 

“If pigs could vote, the man with the slop bucket would be elected swineherd every time, no matter how much slaughtering he did on the side.”

-Orson Scott Card

TODAY'S TRUMPISM 

“We are up BIG, but they are trying to STEAL the Election.”

-Donald J. Trump

WEATHER IN A WORD

Pretty

THE NEW 60

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by Andy Landorf & John Colquhoun

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