The Jaffe Briefing - November 3, 2020
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Well, we made it. Election Day in America. We’ve all been reading and hearing about this election for two years. We’ve been told to vote. We’ve been told to tell others to vote. So, now, it is all about the last-minute, in-person voting and then all the counting. While it remains very unclear what will happen when the New Jersey polls close at 8 p.m., there’s just one fact we can forecast. After today, America will see the “real” Donald Trump. He no longer needs our votes. And that means we should prepare for an unrestricted president – perhaps through Jan. 20 if Biden is inaugurated or for four more Twitter-infested years. Unabated and unaccountable. No wonder a steel fence was erected around the White House this morning.
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Let’s turn to NJ Spotlight, which always cuts through the silly political clutter. It reports that many counties may have already counted close to 90% of the ballots cast, and they will be able to report those results all at once. By 8 p.m. officials will be able to get a strong idea of the pre-Election Day ballots and plan to share this information soon after the polls close, giving us all a good idea of where the state is leaning. After that, some counties plan to provide another update later tonight, as our dry, bloodshot eyes stare at screens, while other officials will hand over info later this week. They will not begin counting the provisional ballots cast today until Nov. 10, after all mail-in ballots have been tallied. Translation: We’ll know a lot by the wee hours of the morning. But not everything.
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Unclear when we became one of those crazy third-world countries we see on CNN International, with the angry masses banging down gates to the palace and blowing up stuff on city streets. But, with such a contentious election and such a divided nation, law enforcement in New Jersey is preparing for anything and everything over the next few days. The Record reports the New Jersey Office of Homeland Security and Preparedness is “on guard,” while local cops have been training to control crowds and quell confrontations, as the vote tally is released. Fueled by a president who stirs continual doubt about the legitimacy of this election, coupled with a lingering pandemic, economic depression, online incitement, a foreign and domestic disinformation campaign, and some other horrid stuff, glad there is some preparation.
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Hurry up. There may only be a limited time left for you to purchase your very own Trump flag, emblazoned with this catchy tagline: “Trump 2020: Fuck Your Feelings.” The flag is being sold at an online retailer near you, for just $4.95, and it includes free, one-day shipping. Not only does it send a message to Biden supporters and other lunatics who demand government hand-outs, a multi-cultural society and crazed socialism, it also features brass grommets. The flag, which replaces the 2016 version that read “Trump 2016: No More Bullshit,” is sized 3 by 5 and is 100% Polyester. The seller – who is not affiliated with the Trump campaign – promises “this weathering beauty will last for many years,” as you wave it from your front porch for all the kiddies to see. Makes for a great holiday gift, too.
BRIEFING BREATHER
Winston Churchill's mother hailed from Brooklyn.
ON THE ROAD – Apparently, you aren’t permitted to create a traffic jam on the Garden State Parkway – no matter who you support for president. The State Police is not looking kindly on the Trump supporters who had the brilliant idea to jam up this major artery through the state on Sunday to demonstrate how others need to support Trump. State Police Superintendent Patrick Callahan described Sunday’s caravan as “irresponsible and dangerous,” noting the cops are particularly interested in the honking, flag-infused pick-ups at the front of this convoy, with these motorists possibly getting tickets for obstructing gobs of traffic. They should send those summonses to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., where someone will certainly pay the fines on their behalf. Right?
STATEWIDE – There’s not a lot of smiles at Friendly's these days, with the announcement that it is the latest iconic brand to file for bankruptcy. That includes 20 locations in the state, as the chain sells all its assets to an investor group, with the hopes of turning things around at the 85-year-old business. Of course, COVID is the culprit here, as the business has been shuttered for months and then people haven’t exactly been running out for ice cream sundaes in limited dine-in operations. There’s hope – with a cherry on top – that Friendly’s can thrive after this sale, along with other well-known chains, like Ruby Tuesday and Chuck E. Cheese, both in the same predicament. Now – more than ever – we deserve a sundae.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
ORLANDO – If you haven’t voted yet today, here’s yet another reason to get out there. A pregnant Florida woman, on the verge of giving birth, refused medical treatment until she filled out her ballot. Officials with the Orange County Supervisor of Elections said the woman was already in full labor when she ordered her husband to stop at the polling place on the way to the hospital. As she yelled for him to hurry the heck up, he darted out of the car and breathlessly told election workers that she was out in the parking lot, refusing to welcome her baby until she did her civic duty. The election official dashed outside, and took a long moment to check her ID, before handing her a ballot, which the voter quickly filled out between all the Lamaze breathing. As the couple sped off, election officials assume the next stop was the maternity ward.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1988 that the Soviet Union finally agrees to allow the teaching of Hebrew. Mazel Tov.
WORD OF THE DAY
Leviathan – [ li-vahy-uh-thuhn ] – noun
Definition: Anything of immense size and power
Example: Considering the polls, is Trump considered the underdog or the leviathan?
WIT OF THE DAY
“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.”
-Groucho Marx
TODAY'S TRUMPISM
“They made a very dangerous situation, and I mean physically dangerous.”
(Referring to Supreme Court decisions allowing officials in Pennsylvania and North Carolina to continue accepting and counting mail-in ballots in the days after Election Day.
-Donald J. Trump
WEATHER IN A WORD
Electoral
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