The Jaffe Briefing - January 4, 2019
STATEWIDE - Yeah, yeah, we've heard all the Jersey jokes. "The Armpit of America" and a lot of other stuff. Har-Har. You would think our streets are filled with trash, as we sit it in our diners, smoke cigarettes and gaze at our tire piles. But the true, hard fact is that New Jersey is one of the cleanest states in the nation, and new findings from the New Jersey Clean Communities Council shows that the amount of litter has dropped by 53 percent since 2004. The fearless leader of the council, Sandy Huber, is the latest guest on the Jaffe Podcast, explaining what has been done - and what is being planned - to keep trash in bins, and out of our waterways, roadsides and other places. Click here to listen.
LODI - Talk about a memorable strike. Bowlers at a local alley were surprised on Wednesday to see a SUV crash through the wall. The 33-year-old driver told the Garfield Lodi Daily Voice that he just couldn't stop his Mercury Mountaineer from accelerating, even though his foot was on the brake. He threw it into park, but the vehicle still rammed into the concrete building, right by the bowlers in Lane 40, who took a quick break to notice. The motorist plans to junk the Mercury and vowed to never buy another used car, sparing no sympathy. Meanwhile, the owner of Lodi Lanes was like, "Uh, my wall?"
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL - Is it only the fourth day of 2019, and you have likely received two "Happy New Year!" cards, some tweets and a smiling Facebook emoji from your favorite state lawmaker. That's because 2019 will be another brisk year of Jersey campaigning, as seats are up for 80 members of the state Assembly. Lots of politicking will be sucking up the air over New Jersey, a refreshing break from whatever is currently wafting over from Washington, D.C.
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL - Voter fraud is a proud New Jersey pastime.And that's why election officials in three New Jersey counties used the recent midterm elections to try out voting machines that incorporate a voter-verified paper trail. There were some Election Day hiccups, mostly because voters couldn't figure out these new-fangled machines. But it's reassuring that votes were tallied correctly, audits show. New Jersey is one of the few states that doesn't require all voting machines to have a voter-verified paper trail. And, apparently, most of the state's lawmakers are in no hurry for us to catch up. NJ Spotlight reports that "the Legislature as a whole is moving at a snail's pace" on the issue. One state Senate bill that's been in the works for 10 years has never even had a hearing. Read more in NJ Spotlight.
CAMDEN - Sister Helen Cole used to say "excuse me" to the drug dealerssitting on the front steps of her State Street nonprofit so she could get off her porch. She tells TAPInto Camden they've thankfully disappeared from one of the most dangerous communities in North Camden. Furniture in that neighborhood is back on the front porch, with a new report that shows crime in the city has dropped over the last eight years, reaching a 50-year low in 2018. You could even consider the murder rate "impressive," with "only" 22 murders last year, compared to 67 in 2012. The Camden County Police Department is now taking a well-deserved victory lap.
STATEWIDE - A sinking stock market. A Trump slump. Rising seas. And 2019 has barely begun. What we all need is a good hug. And that's why we are thankful for CuddleComfort.com, in which strangers can snuggle without any expectation of something more. There's even cuddle parties around New Jersey, where strangers can spoon, perhaps with their favorite blankies and PJs. Need a cuddle buddy? Just go to the website, log in, search for the nearest person looking for a hug, message them without any awkward explanation and meet up. You can stroke each other's hair, give back scratches or maybe just watch Netflix and not chill. It's all free, unless you are looking for a "professional cuddler" through the site, around $80 a pop. And, yeah, that's when things start getting real weird.
GLEN ROCK - Who'd think stealing used cooking oil would bring big bucks on the black market where it's resold for heating oil and other purposes. But, this is why cops in this Bergen County town are trying to track down a pair of brazen thieves caught on security cameras Friday night siphoning nearly 1,100 gallons of grisly grease from drums behind two Maple Avenue burger joints. Police tell CBS News grease thefts are more common than anyone may think. Since 2015, police in Bridgewater, Holmdel, Linden, North Bergen, Ramsey, Rochelle Park have reported, or made a few arrests, in similar slimy thefts. What greaseballs.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
LEXINGTON, Ky. - Krispy Kreme is coming to the rescue of some local cops devastated by the loss of a donut truck that caught fire. The Lexington Herald-Leader reports the company and a police escort delivered dozens of donuts to cops Wednesday afternoon. Through tears, grieving officers say no one was injured - but certainly stunned - when a Krispy Kreme truck caught fire on Monday, ruining the main nutritional source of the city's police force. Lexington cops went on Facebook to voice their sorrow, while condolences poured in from police departments across the country. It all prompted the donut company to respond with the donation.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 2017 that a home in Akron, Ohio sold for less than a candy bar, following a new state law governing public auctions. The Akron Beacon Journal reported that abandoned homes can be sold for less than two-thirds of their appraised value at public auctions, as a way to get them out of foreclosure. No one challenged Citizens Bank's winning bid of a dollar, making the bank the proud owner of a decrepit 92-year-old bungalow in the middle of Akron. Congrats on the victory.
And, for some reason, that blurb warrants a completely unnecessary joke about Akron. Here we go:
"A blind guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he wants to hear a joke about Akron.
Just then, a guy next to the blind man leans over and says "Hey fella.. Just so you know, the bartender is a Karate Black Belt and an Akron Alumnus, the bouncer at the door is a University of Akron student and I am a 300-pound pro weightlifter who graduated from Akron... Now, do you really want to tell that joke?"
The blind man says: "Nah, I don't feel like explaining it 3 times."
WORD OF THE DAY
Baleful - [BAYL-fəl] - adjective
Definition: Foreboding or threatening evil
Example:
His eyes glowed with a baleful light, as the new Congressman placed his hand on the Good Book and began to utter the words, to protect, preserve and defend, so help us God.
WIT OF THE DAY
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"Please think about your legacy, because you're writing it every day."
- Gary Vaynerchuck
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WEATHER IN A WORD
Same
THE NEW 60
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by Andy Landorf & John Colquhoun