The Jaffe Briefing - November 2, 2017
OUR TAKE ON THE NEWS IN NEW JERSEY
RUNNEMEDE - There are still plenty of wackos out there, with the story of a two-inch sewing needle found inside a little girl's Tootsie Roll. Luckily, the girl had not bitten into the Halloween candy when it was discovered. Her mom was obviously furious, as the girl had only gone to doors in the neighborhood. The story has been shared on Facebook 1,800 times or so, to date, as the family is urging all their neighbors to throw out the Tootsie Rolls. Cops X-rayed the girl's bounty, fortunately not finding anything else.
EDISON - And, speaking of wackos, there's a political mailer being floated around town, urging people to vote against two school board candidates. It is pretty awful stuff, using a Trump theme to "Make Edison Great Again." It talks about Chinese and Indian-Americans taking over the town, with the word "DEPORT" stamped over the heads of two candidates. It even rants about cricket fields. Folks are rightfully appalled, including Mayor Tom Lankey, who called it "despicable" and vowed to find the identity of the anonymous racist. We'll refrain from republishing the mailer here. The silver lining: All this political nonsense ends Tuesday.
YOUR FRONT LAWN - See all those leaves out there? You can get off your butt and rake them or offer your spouse the perfect excuse: "Um, honey, I would rake the leaves, of course, but the National Wildlife Federation told me to leave them alone." Huh? Yes, it is actually true. The federation is urging us all to "park the rake" this fall, NJ 101.5 reports. The leaves are terrific nutrients for the soil, we are told, creating a mulch that will help ensure a glorious green lawn in the spring. So, hey, sit back, turn the TV back on, crack a cold one and thank yourself for promoting nature.
NEWARK - Is that a beach ball rolling down Broad Street? Because it sure felt like summer throughout October - the warmest on record in Newark, according to the National Weather Service. Surely the increase in average temperature has New Jersey winegrowers concerned about the future of their crops. But, fear not, thanks to global warming, Nova Scotia's vineyards are thriving, growing European grape varieties in areas once thought too cold to grow anything. Perhaps a warming New Jersey could be the next home for "Jersey Fresh" oranges and other warm-weather produce. And, hey, remember to pick up a Jersey palm tree, coming soon to your local Home Depot.
ON THE ROAD - Hess Trucks have come a long way since Leon Hess transformed his father's oil delivery service here into a national oil and gas giant that fueled the purchase of the New York Jets. Wasting no time to rush into the holiday season, NJ.com reports that Hess has already started selling its 2017 trucks online - a dump truck and loader. (Yes, this year's truck has absolutely nothing to do with delivering gas, but makes much more sense than the years Hess was selling space shuttles and monster trucks.)
IN THE MEDIA
WASHINGTON - We can't help ourselves but write about the latest drink special: the "Moscow Mueller." Every time that special counsel Robert Mueller indicts an associate of President Donald Trump, The Bird DC sells its new signature drink for only $5. The offer was promoted on Twitter yesterday with the hashtag "#muellertime." This isn't the first time this bar has gotten into the political game; in August it announced $4 drinks whenever Trump fired a White House official.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
WORD OF THE DAY
Clew - [KLOO] - noun
Definition: A ball of thread or yarn
Example: I have no clue where my clew is.
WEATHER IN A WORD
Seventies