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The Jaffe Briefing - October 30, 2017

OUR TAKE ON THE NEWS IN NEW JERSEY
 
STATEWIDE - If you are itching to know which towns in New Jersey have the most residents with sexually-transmitted diseases, look no further. The festering answer is available on NJ 101.5, which conducted a review of 40,000 STD cases in the state, ranking the "Top 50" towns and developing a nifty, interactive map to illustrate the rash of outbreaks. Hot spots for chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis? No. 5 is Newark, No. 4 is East Orange, No. 3 is Hopewell in Cumberland County, No. 2 is Clementon and No. 1 - with about 25 sore people per every 1,000 residents - Camden. State officials say about half of sexually-active people in New Jersey will get a STD by the time they turn 25. Time to wrap this up.

MANASQUAN - Dude. So which high school has the most rad surfing team? Amped to know? Mega-stoked? For years it was Ocean City High School in Cape May County, dominating the National Scholastic Surfing Association's Northeast Conference. But now the honor goes to Manasquan High School, winning the last four titles and fueling a North-South rivalry that's sure to dominate the waves for years to come. Totally tubular.
 
 
 
ON THE RAILS - Ridership on NJ Transit was down 3 percent last year, and is that really a surprise? Think about it: A major crash, a bunch of train derailments, perennially late trains, crowded cars, a shortage of engineers and tons of cranky people. Add the fact that gas is cheap, Uber is everywhere and people thirst to work from home, in bunny slippers. NJ Transit tells the Record it was down 7.8 million passenger trips in 2016. It appears that number will continue to decline, until NJ Transit realizes it is commonly the last resort for commuters, already exhausted by the time they reach their desks each morning.

AT WORK? - If you just woke up, hoarse, with bleary eyes and hopelessly late for work, we get you. We know you sat through that 10-inning slugfest last night, five hours and 17 minutes of awesome, tell-the-grandkids kind of baseball. The Astros edged the Dodgers 13-12, in a gift to baseball fans who are convinced, once again, that all is good with the world. But cold, hard reality is back, and the boss is waiting. Thankfully, MLB has the perfect excuse for you.
 
 
 
ON FACEBOOK - Former Fox News Anchor Bill O'Reilly has accused Michael Panter, a former assemblyman from Monmouth County, of being another meanie on Facebook. Why? Because Panter went to social media on behalf of his ex-girlfriend, who was bound by a non-disclosure agreement after she settled a sexual harassment case against against O'Reilly, the N.Y. Daily News reports. The shamed former anchor claims Panter has caused "public hatred, ridicule, disgrace and permanent harm."  Apparently, O'Reilly thinks this is all worth $5 million in damages.
 
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
 
YOUNGSTOWN, Ohio - Unaware if any students from Youngstown State University are preparing for careers, but they can at least say they helped shatter a world record for the number of people dressed like penguins. The Vindicator reports 972 students, alumni and community members gathered Saturday in their best penguin finery to celebrate the school's 50th anniversary as a university. We're going to take a leap here and assume Youngstown State's mascot is the Penguins. The waddling students shattered the current record, held since 2015, when 624 people dressed like penguins in England. Sounds like the beginning of another intense rivalry.
 
IN THE MEDIA

ONLINE - Using "autospeak" was unfortunate for one distracted New York Times reader, who was busy blasting Donald Trump in the online comment section, while also having a conversation with a house guest.
 
 
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
 
It was this day in 2012 that Disney took over practically everything you'll ever see on a movie screen, announcing it is buying both Star Wars and Indiana Jonesfrom George Lucas for more than $4 billion.
 
 

WORD OF THE DAY

Descry - [dis-CRY] - verb
 
Definition: To catch sight of; to find or discover
 
Example: I descried an association between my broken gutter and a huge puddle in front of my house.
 

WEATHER IN A WORD

Soaked