The Jaffe Briefing - October 23, 2017
OUR TAKE ON THE NEWS IN NEW JERSEY
STATEWIDE - When you read about the NJ Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, you immediately think about the poor little puppy shivering in the cold and feel guilty for not immediately sending a donation somewhere. But the New Jersey State Commission of Investigation (SCI) isn't feeling the same way, releasing a scathing report that calls the society a dysfunctional non-profit, mired by waste, abuse, debt and conflicts of interest. And it's full of "wannabe cops" that are somehow allowed to carry guns, Politicoreports. The state agency wants the NJSPCA stripped of the power to enforce the state's animal cruelty laws, leaving it to tried-and-true law enforcement. The report is nothing new; the SCI yapped the same recommendation 17 years ago. So far, nothing is different.
NOT NEW BRUNSWICK - If your vision of college is sitting in your pajamas, shoveling in SpaghettiOs and typing away on your Mac, then you are perfect for the online courses at Rutgers University. A new study by OnlineColleges.com finds Rutgers to be the top college in the state for online programs, beating out 45 other accredited schools in New Jersey for the title, TAPInto New Brunswick reports. Editors say they took the analysis super-seriously, looking at the number of programs offered, how many students were enrolled, costs, as well as other features offered to those who prefer to spend four years "at" college without ever meeting anyone.
HARRISON - Now, this is odd. A big-time national political celebrity comes to New Jersey at the heat of the election, and it is closed to the media? Yet there was still media attention for Hillary Clinton's visit to Harrison yesterday to stump for Phil Murphy in an event closed to reporters. Tickets were $1,000, but it was "encouraged" that people give $4,300 to also get a photo with Clinton. Her husband, a guy named Bill, will be coming tomorrow for a separate Murphy event, prompting us to wonder if he will be able to command the same rates.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
HONOLULU - It's the go-to lunch meat when there is nothing else around to eat. But somehow Spam is a really big deal in Honolulu, where cans are being ripped off shelves and sold on the streets for quick cash. It used to be that shoplifters would go for the booze, but times have drastically changed, reports Hawaii News Now. Apparently, Spam is the item of choice because it is so easy to sell, as Hawaii has the nation's highest per-capita consumption of processed meat, a mixture of pork shoulder, ham, sugar and salt, akin to high-grade dog food. Hawaii has had a love affair with Spam since World War II, when there was rationing, and Spam was ideal because of its remarkably long shelf life (Translation: Indefinitely). The newspaper also made a sweeping generalization that Asians like rice, Asians live in Hawaii and Spam goes with rice. So, there ya go.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
WORD OF THE DAY
Burke - [BERK] - verb
Definition: To suppress quietly or indirectly
Example: I needed to stop watching yesterday's Giants game in an effort to burke raging fury.
WEATHER IN A WORD
Clouds