The Jaffe Briefing - July 11, 2017
OUR TAKE ON THE NEWS IN NEW JERSEY
ON THE AIRWAVES - Hard to remember the last time Gov. Chris Christie earned headlines for proactively serving the people of New Jersey, rather than his ego, his legacy or future job prospects. So, it's of no surprise that the news wires are filled with stories of his audition yesterday on WFAN, where the former Presidential candidate and standard-bearer of the Republican Party was telling listeners how the Washington Nationals will "suck in the playoffs." There were some callers gushing about how Christie is a great politician (Thanks, son) and his crazy knowledge of sports. Others, like "Mike from Montclair" called to say the next time Christie closes the state, you should "put your fat ass in a car" and go to a beach open to the public. (Christie called this constituent a Communist.) Anyway, four hours of Christie on WFAN poses the question: Will sports radio hire him or, as a consolation prize, will be get some mid-level job in the White House? He's back on WFAN at 2 p.m.
TRENTON - It seems for your poll numbers to drop below 15 percent in New Jersey, you need to murder someone in the Statehouse, and then call the media in for photos, as you pose with the blood-soaked knife and the cadaver laid on your desk. And perhaps that is why Gov. Chris Christie's poll numbers are holding steady at 15 percent, the most unpopular governor in the history of the state. Monmouth University is out with that poll, consistent with an earlier poll from Quinnipiac. The infamous beach day didn't help, Politico notes, with common polling responses including "disgusted," "selfish," "hypocrite" and "arrogant."
COLLINGSWOOD - An amateur fashion designer hopes to wipe up her competition in the upcoming "National Toilet Paper Wedding Dress Contest." For a fifth year, Susan Masarek is one of 10 finalists in this bizarre competition, and the only one from New Jersey. For the contest's July 20 finale in New York, Masarek has made the shrewd selection of Quilted Northern toilet paper, fused with white duct tape and glue to create a sleek gown, elegant cape and pillbox hat. Masarek tells the South Jersey Times: "Toilet paper is durable and strong. I enjoy working with it. It's art, pure and simple." The competition's grand prize winner gets $10,000, or, we figure, a lifetime's worth of double-ply.
STATEWIDE - The next time the doctor tells you to turn and cough, think about this special NJ 101.5 investigation, listing a number of medical professionals who have been convicted of sex crimes, yet are still meeting you in a closed room, as you sit in a flimsy gown near a bottle of lube. In a story titled, "Is our Doctor a Perv?," NJ 101.5 went through hundreds of pages of consent orders and decisions of the State Board of Medical Examiners, finding five cases in the last two years in which licenses were revoked, after docs admitted sexual contact, yet can still reapply for licenses in three to 10 years. Seventeen others accused or convicted of sex crimes can still practice - as long as they have a "chaperone," which, we guess, is good.
UNION - Rummaging around in dusty old basements can sometimes unearth unexpected treasures. That's what happened at the Liberty Hall Museum, where workers discovered three, full and long-forgotten cases of Madeira wine dating back to 1796, the same year John Adams defeated Thomas Jefferson to become President. While gearing up for a wine cellar restoration project in the museum, workers also found 42 big glass jugs containing liquor from 1820s. Museum President John Kean sampled the Madeira wine, telling NJ.com it tastes like a sweet sherry and maybe glorious, revolutionary freedom.
IN THE MEDIA
ALBUQUERQUE, NM - A news reporter for ABC's local affiliate KOAT was apparently disgusted with his producer over a few missed cues. So, Doug Fernandez did what many of us dream at work - throwing up his notes in frustration and storming off. Fernandez, who has worked in television news for years across the South and Southwest, probably had hoped he'd be remembered for his journalistic skill at the 2004 and 2008 DNC conventions. But his mini, on-air tantrum is what's earned him a million and a half YouTube views, to date.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
MONTPELIER, VT. - Unlike our governor, Vermont Gov. Phil Scott doesn't beat his gums on sports talk-radio - it's the thrill of a hot race that really drives him. That's why, on Thursday, Scott won't be satisfied to simply hand out trophies during the 38th annual Vermont Governor's Cup stock car race. An amateur race car driver, Scott will be behind the wheel of his own souped-up stock car for the 150-lap heat at Thunder Road in Barrie, Vt. Just last week, Scott took home a $1,200 grand prize after winning a 50-lap race at Thunder Road. It was Scott's 30th career victory, but only his first since becoming governor in January.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
Perhaps Vice President Aaron Burr celebrated on this day in 1804 with a lovely glass of madeira at Liberty Hall, after fatally shooting Alexander Hamilton in an early-morning duel in Weehawken.
WORD OF THE DAY
Perambulator - [per-AM-byoo-ley-ter] - noun
Definition: A baby carriage
Example: Jeez, why say "perambulator" when you can just say "baby carriage?"
WEATHER IN A WORD
Swampy