The Morning Briefing - January 5, 2017
AT THE STORE – Very soon, the phrase “Attention Kmart shoppers” will be ancient lore, known only by really old, decrepit people who just happen to be around our age. Sears is steadily winding down the crappy Kmart brand, announcing that the old, beaten stores in Clementon, East Brunswick, Pleasantville and Rio Grande will be put out of their misery by the end of March. Damn. Now where can locals buy their dog chow, gonorrhea medication and geraniums all in one place? Likely, the next strip mall over.
WALL – More Jersey lore may soon be lost, with word the Circus drive-in on Route 35 is for sale. You may recall this burger joint on your way to and from Belmar, where they take casual dining to the nth degree. The place has been in operation for 62 years, but the owner figures he could make plenty more by just selling off the property. Will the land become home to yet another Wawa? Or will an investor, with hardened fry grease in his veins, step up and keep the drive-in going? The saga should play out in the spring, when it is supposed to be time to fire up the ol’ grill and serve a new season of shorebirds.
IN THE CLASSROOM – It should take 60 minutes or less to discern good teachers from the other kind. At least that’s what the state Board of Education thinks. Yesterday, it sliced the time that principals must spend observing teachers in classrooms from 100 minutes to 60 per year. The observations are to be done in three, 20-minute blocks. The state says this will give principals and school administrators 35 extra hours a year to do all their other duties, like repeatedly calling Marty McFly a slacker. The change mystified the New Jersey Education Association, whose spokesman told NJ.com “How can you really tell what a teacher is doing in three 20-minute snapshots?” Yep, good question.
OUT OF THE CLASSROOM – Kinda hard to get anything accomplished in the school, when it keeps getting evacuated. NJ 101.5 reports that five schools at the Jersey Shore were emptied yesterday, following threats. As ticked-off teachers and amused students stood outside, emergency responders scoured schools in Lacey, Cherry Hill, Marlboro, Rumson and Jackson. Unclear if there is a connection, but if the clowns get caught, they are looking at tougher penalties, five- to 10-year prison sentences and a fines of up to $150,000.
HACKENSACK – Well, the political coup is complete in Bergen County, where Democrats again control every top elected office in county government. Former Mahwah Councilwoman Mary Amoroso and former Palisades Park Councilwoman Germaine Ortiz were sworn in last night as new freeholders along with incumbent Thomas Sullivan. Although the Freeholder board was all-Democrat from 2007-09, the Record reports this is the first time in recent memory that Democrats now also hold seats as County Executive, Sheriff, Surrogate and Clerk. A new dynasty?
IN THE MEDIA
NEW BRUNSWICK – In an era when reporters often rewrite politicians’ press releases and call it “news coverage,” it is refreshing to read enterprise stories that chronicle normal life – the lives the rest of us lead. In the case of TAPInto New Brunswick, reporter Jack Murtha spends some time on a well-worn bar stool, nursing a $2 Budweiser, listening, asking some questions and listening some more. At closing time, Murtha leaves with a great story about an old, family-owned New Brunswick bar, rich in color and history, where the taps miraculously flow in this era of gentrification. Enjoy the story here.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
DORMONT, Pa. – No lube needed, as a local woman gave birth in one of those 10-minute oil change businesses on Monday. As her husband’s Nissan pick-up was getting the deluxe service, her baby was being rotated in the bathroom with the job done in only three minutes, reports the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review. “I went to pee and then, I don't know, I was all of the sudden holding her,” proud mom reports. Dad says the grease monkeys really stepped up, handing over a bootlace to tie the umbilical cord and offering some of Monday’s coffee, still in the pot.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1981 that "Nightline" with Ted Koppel was extended from 20 minutes to 30 minutes, giving us another 10 minutes to gaze upon his hair in wonderment.
WORD OF THE DAY
Zeitgeist [TSYTE-gyste] – noun
Definition: The general intellectual, moral, and cultural climate of an era
Example: How, exactly, will historians chronicle the zeitgeist of the Trump era?
WEATHER IN A WORD
Brrr.