The Morning Briefing - January 3, 2017
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Is it only the third day of 2017, and you have likely received two holiday cards, some tweets and a Facebook “Like” from your favorite state lawmaker. That’s because 2017 will be a whopper of a year of Jersey campaigning, as the governor’s seat is up, as well as 80 members of the state Assembly and 40 members of the state Senate. Lots of politicking will be sucking the air out of the state, a refreshing break from the Trump Administration.
DOWN THE SHORE – It is only the third day of 2017, and your dream shore house is already booked for the summer. At least that’s what the shore brokers are telling the media. Pessimists would be quick to dismiss such comments as an effort to gin up the rental market at a time when sun and surf is just a long-away, fleeting dream. But, really, some brokers are telling NJ 101.5 that they’ve seen some serious action for the Summer of ’17, stronger than this time last year, with only a narrow window of time before your dream home vanishes. Book now for a refreshing break from the Trump Administration.
IN SCHOOL – New Jersey’s 46,500 teachers, trudging back to school after the holiday break, actually have it pretty good. In fact, a popular education recruiting website says New Jersey is the best state to be a teacher. Sure, governors elsewhere don’t tell their teachers to shut up and go stand in the corner. And average salaries are higher in Connecticut and California. But, Zippia.com says our teachers’ hard-earned dollars go further in the Garden State where their average paycheck is $68,100. The website compared teachers’ pay with each state’s cost of living to arrive at its grand conclusion. So, chin-up, teachers, it’s not so bad after all.
KENILWORTH – Staying on a basketball court means winning in Superior Court for a 12-year-old seventh grade girl whose family is going one-on-one Thursday against the Archdiocese of Newark in an Essex County courtroom. With too few girls interested in b-ball at St. Theresa's School, all-star varsity player Sydney Phillips wants to play on the boys’ team. The Archdiocese has no rule against it, but the New York Post says school officials cried foul, prompting the Phillips family to jump through hoops so Sydney can suit up with the guys. It’s up to a judge to decide if the case is a layup or a long shot.
NUTLEY – Assault-by-sandwich has landed a hothead in quite a pickle. The 22-year-old township man goes before a municipal judge this week to explain why he chucked an $11.75 oven-baked sandwich at a Domino’s deliveryman’s head. Patch.com says the customer refused to take the 25-cent change from the driver, so the driver dropped the quarter on the customer’s driveway during the Dec. 15 incident. As he walked away, the driver told police the sandwich whacked him in the back of his head. The irate customer then smeared part of the messy sandwich on the deliveryman's windshield.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
TAMPA, Fla. – Don’t mess with a dog named Scarface. That’s the message for a local family, stupid enough on Friday to try to make the pit bull mutt wear a sweater. First, Scarface attacked the lady who tried to stick some ugly garb over his shoulders. Then, as the husband tried to pull Scarface off, he was attacked. Then, their 22-year-old son went after Scarface, hoping to get some control by stabbing the dog in the neck. That didn’t work, as the son was then attacked. The trio then ran from the house, bloodied and beaten, escaping through the backyard, as Scarface stood triumphant inside, conquering the household. Cops then stormed the house with a tranquilizer, having Scarface say hello to their little friend.
AUGUSTA, Maine — Good news if you decide to move to Maine: You can wear your goat horns in your driver’s license photo. An ordained Pagan priest paved the way, getting approval from the state, after claiming he wears his goat horns at all times, unless sleeping or bathing. They serve as great spiritual antennae, as you can imagine, and help educate others about Paganism. State officials say they are ok with the horns because they don’t obstruct his face. The priest says, “Damn, straight,” noting no special permission is needed for a nun wearing a habit, or a Sikh wearing a turban.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 2014 that the net worth of the 300 richest people in the world collectively increased by $524 billion, giving these 300 billionaires an aggregate net worth of $3.7 trillion. In other news, Germany announced its entire economy was worth a measly $3.5 trillion.
WORD OF THE DAY
Baleful [BALE-ful] – adjective
Definition: foreboding or threatening evil
Example: His eyes glowed with a baleful light, as he placed his hand on the Good Book and began to utter the words, to protect, preserve and defend, so help us, God.
WEATHER IN A WORD
Soaker