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The Morning Briefing - November 1, 2016

ON THE ROADS – For those Uber riders who couldn’t give a hoot about today’s increase in the gas tax, well, all you ride sharers are paying for it too. Uber is passing on the cost of the gas tax to its passengers with fare increases, about 2 percent, with the company’s 13,000 drivers in New Jersey adding on a per-mile price increase to ensure that Trenton doesn’t mess with their bottom line.

ON THE RAILS – Any NJ Transit commuter would not be the slightest bit surprised to learn there are more mechanical breakdowns here, than by similar operators in the U.S. Bloomberg reports NJ Transit had the most mechanical failures among 24 peer railroads in 2015. NJ Transit responded the feds are comparing apples and oranges, as NJ Transit provided much more information than other railroads, revealing more breakdowns, on more levels, than required.

HIGHLAND PARK – Those godless heathens down in Trenton better shape up if, by some miracle, the Rev. Seth Kaper-Dale wins the 2017 governor race. The pastor of the Reformed Church of Highland Park is announcing his Green Party bid for governor Friday night when he appears with presidential wannabe Jill Stein at Montclair State. The Green Party State Chair Julie Saporito-Acuña tells Politickernj that Kaper-Dale, a long-time political activist, will focus next year’s campaign “on issues other parties have neglected for far too long.” The Green Party’s ranks here doubled to a whopping 2,562 registered voters since last fall, so the good pastor may also want to focus on prayer. See the video here.

WEST NEW YORK – Maybe crossing guards could pick up litter too. Or empty a few trash cans. Sound absurd? Well, school crossing guards here also think its ridiculous they now report to a Public Works supervisor, instead of a cop. Mayor Felix Roque gave that DPW supervisor a $20,000 raise in July to oversee crossing guards, claiming (you guessed it) the switch saves money. Crossing guards showed up at a city Commissioners’ meeting last week to criticize it as inefficient and demoralizing, the Hudson County View says. It’s also apparently illegal, the state Department of Community Affairs told city officials in an Oct. 17th letter. Crossing guards wanted to know why the city didn't switch back. They’re still waiting for an answer.

TRENTON – There’s a bit more Bounce in the city’s welfare office these days. Hoping to ward off the rash of bedbugs, fleas and ticks plaguing those offices, there are now boxes of dryer sheets in all restrooms and visitors are encouraged to wipe down their clothing. There’s no proof bedbugs or other blood-sucking vermin actually flee from the fresh scent of “linen,” “rain forest” or “island breeze,” but city Social Services Director Barbara Buckley tells the Trentonian city officials just hope insects will cling to the dryer sheets and stay off their employees. Hope is wonderful, but Buckley noted that exterminators also regularly visit the welfare office too. Anybody else itchy yet?

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

LEBANON, Ohio – With the election just seven days away, maybe America has finally gone mad. Case in point: a 47-year-old Ohio man has dumped a truckload of manure at his county's Democratic Party headquarters. The Warren County sheriff's office says the guy is due in court Thursday, after the act was caught on camera. Democrats note the same pile of poop was dropped on them in 2012, prompting the enhanced security. Local Republicans deny the connection. Maybe the truth will be revealed by Wikileaks.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

In Mike Tyson’s head, the penalty for feeling up a woman has reached “free,” as it was this day in 1990 that a jury awarded one of his victims $100 for fondling her.

WORD OF THE DAY

Gravid  [GRAV-id] – adjective

Definition: Pregnant

Example: “Mom, I think I may be gravid.”

“Well, sweetie, this is cold and flu season. Some tea?”

WEATHER IN A WORD

Scarf