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The Morning Briefing - September 27, 2016

IN THE CLASSROOM - Sure, they may give out homework on Fridays and talk ad nauseam about really boring stuff. But New Jersey loves its teachers, according to a thoroughly unscientific report by WalletHub.com. According to this new “analysis,” which we will trust as true for the sake of this blurb, New Jersey is ranked the most teacher-friendly state in the nation. This report also ranks Jersey as second in quality of school systems, third in per-pupil spending and fourth in pupil/teacher ratios. The NJEA obviously loves the report, telling NJ101.5 that “we work hard with our members to negotiate salaries that allow people to live and work here in New Jersey.” In regard to “teacher friendliness,” New Jersey led the top five, which included Massachusetts, DC, Illinois and some other irrelevant states.

PATERSON – Some more good journalism from the Paterson Press, reporting that a towing company that handed out more than $100,000 in donations to politicians over the past two decades has miraculously reaped millions of dollars in towing contracts. Classic Towing reports donations across the board, to politicians in different parties at different levels. Don’t mess with success, as the towing company is looking at a $1.8 million one-year contract renewal – one of the largest goodies that Paterson hands out. Meanwhile, a fun fact: 30 drivers have filed formal complaints so far this year, alleging their vehicles were improperly towed in Paterson.

ON THE ROAD – Have another round? Why not? Many bar patrons appear to be enjoying free rides home in Evesham and Voorhees, which started the program to keep drunk drivers off local sidewalks. After a year, Evesham Mayor Randy Brown tells NJ.com that the Saving Lives Program is a huge, two-town success, with Uber and BeMyDD giving more than 2,000 free rides to hammered residents. The mayor says the donor-funded program definitely prevented a number of alcohol-related accidents or deaths, and it lowered drunk driving arrests by more than 15 percent. Bar owners, we assume, are toasting the program.

AT THE BAR – Instead of free rides, maybe a brisk walk home would be healthier for drunks who just took a few beer flights. A new Canadian study confirms, yet again, that routine physical exercise, even as easy as walking or jogging, can help counteract heart disease, diabetes and other damaging health effects from regularly pounding the bottle, the Record reports. The U.K. Department of Health study emphasizes that regular physical activity is the antidote for unhealthy behaviors like sitting too much, writing these morning briefs and spending too much time at the corner tavern. So, pal, walk it off.

ONLINE – Offering a candid opinion about all the bed bugs you met recently at a hotel could get you sued. That’s the concern of Rep. Leonard Lance, who wants people protected from lawsuits for what they post on Yelp and other online review sites.  Apparently, some companies have “non-disparagement clauses” hidden in their contracts, meaning if you give them a bad review, no matter how crappy the service, you are liable for damages. “Right now in so many instances, there is a gag rule that prohibits the public from being honest in reviewing a service they have received or a product they have received,” the congressman said.  We give 5 stars to the congressman for his commitment to free speech.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Everyone is offering brilliant, unsolicited opinions about last night’s debate, and we are no different. We are amazed that Hillary Clinton didn’t pull Donald Trump away from his comfort topics, like trade, jobs, birth certificates and immigration. Why wasn’t she directing the attacks on topics he never really mentions, like environmental protection, or affordable housing, or health care, or education, or disability issues, or transportation? Why wasn’t the debate prep about pushing this blowhard out of his comfort zone and hammering away on his ignorance? It seemed last night’s Q&A selection favored Trump, and showed a narrow Hillary. Maybe the Oct. 9 debate in St. Louis will be more far-ranging.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1971 that The New York Times reports white youths are becoming more interested in black gospel music. In thoroughly unrelated news, the “Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour” debuts on CBS.

WORD OF THE DAY

Iota [eye-OH-tuh] – noun

Definition: An infinitesimal amount or, for The New York Times crossword, the ninth letter of the Greek alphabet.

Example: I couldn’t care one iota who won the debate last night, but I did get to use the word “iota” in my puzzle.

WEATHER IN A WORD

Wet