The Morning Briefing - September 14, 2016
ON THE RAILS - With word the commuter rail cars between NYC and Connecticut will be equipped with bars for thirsty commuters by 2018, one must wonder what would happen if NJ Transit offered the same perk, harkening back to the "Mad Men" days of enjoying a few cocktails after chasing skirts around your desk all day. NJ Transit can sure use some levity and class, as commuters mix in bar cars with faux-wood paneling and red leather lounges. But how would a few shots of bourbon mix with a two-hour delay to Princeton Junction, a broken AC system or dealing with the annoying guy who won't stop yelling into his cell phone? Perhaps, New Jersey isn't exactly ready for a café car.
HOBOKEN - There's a fact that may not be included in the glossy brochure at Stevens Institute of Technology: the private university ranks first in the nation in student debt. U.S. News and World Report says the school's average student debt is $48,244, with nearly 75 percent of students forced to take out loans to cover costs. And, of course, Princeton University, with its gazillions of dollars in endowments, has the least student debt, an average of just $8,577. Stevens officials tell the Record the piles of debt are all worth it, noting its graduates get great jobs. But those talking points may be questioned by nervous parents, who may not want Joey living in the basement until he is 35.
TOMS RIVER - A local pizza guy has to wonder if joining a fantasy football team is really worth it. Facing the punishment of coming in dead last in his league, he was forced to march down Route 9 on Labor Day, wearing only an XXXL-sized pink bikini bottom from Kmart and hoisting a sign that says he sucks at fantasy football. The New York Post reports that drivers honked as they rode by, with one mom and her four children driving back-and-forth five times, as the kids shrieked with laughter. The league of pizzeria owners launched the walk of shame a couple of years ago to ensure losing teams kept fighting until the end of the season, or face the dire consequences. The pizza guy says the league is no longer about winning. You just don't want to come in last place.
FREEHOLD - Many smokers now see vaping as the healthier alternative for getting a nicotine fix. But hard-core supporters of the traditional cigarette will be quick to note that a cigarette won't suddenly explode in your pocketbook. NJ 101.5 reports an Old Bridge woman was terrified on Sunday when the lithium battery on her e-cigarette exploded in her purse as she shopped for sunglasses at the Freehold Raceway Mall. Black smoke billowed from her purse as she threw it to the floor. The bag was then engulfed in flames, her fingertips were singed and everyone fled the store. Wow, smoking still makes you look so cool.
EDISON - A couple of local cops just hit the road. But it's no joy ride for Officers Jennifer Aldahondo and Chelsea Richard. They're on a 1,350-mile journey to bring a van full of relief supplies to Baton Rouge, where scores of homes were washed away or badly damaged in mid-August flooding that left thousands homeless. Edison PBA Local 75 ran a Town Hall month-long drive to collect the supplies. Police Chief Tom Bryan tells the Home News Tribune: "Police work is about more than enforcing laws. It's about community service, showing kindness and generosity."
IN THE MEDIA
ONLINE - From the first moment an untrained journalist attempted to post a news story on the Internet, the facts were botched. And, over the years, the Internet has become a haven for incompetency, inaccuracy, abuse and an outright butchering of information, which then spreads like wildfire to misinform the masses. There now seems to be a possible solution: "First Draft News," backed by Google. This is a partner network that filters out some of the junk that poses as news on the Internet. Top-notch international media companies are part of this network, including Facebook, Twitter, the Jaffe Morning Briefing :-), The New York Times, Agence France-Presse, CNN, BuzzFeed, ProPublica and The Washington Post. No clue if "First Draft News" can slay a crazy beast like the Internet, but this is a huge step toward bringing credibility to what poses as online "news."
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
LAS VEGAS - Nevada Assemblyman James Oscarson faces an unenviable re-election challenge. He's up against stiff competition from one of the most well-known businessmen in Las Vegas: Dennis Hof, owner of four popular whorehouses. Candidate Hof's "Moonlight-Bunny Ranch" and "The Love Ranch" were featured in the HBO adult reality series "Cathouse." (You may recall The Love Ranch is where former NBA player Lamar Odom suffered "a medical episode.") So, now, the straight-laced GOP assemblyman is dealing with a challenger whose employees describe themselves as "Hookers for Hillary," and whose Twitter account has 20,000 fans, most just looking for free porn. Also, the challenger is an acclaimed author, who penned "The Art of the Pimp." Ironically, Hof is calling the assemblyman "a high-priced political prostitute," adding "Do I understand politics? No."
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1983 that the House of Representatives voted 416-0 to condemn Russia for shooting down a Korean jetliner. Interesting to see the political future of a guy who would vote "no."
WORD OF THE DAY
Sylvan - [SILL-vun] - adjective
Definition: Relating to the characteristics of a forest
Example: I had dreams of strolling through the sylvan setting of the winery, but my kids demanded chicken fingers and apple juice at some crappy drive-thru.
WEATHER IN A WORD
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