The Morning Briefing - August 16, 2016
PATERSON – Next time some cop tells you traffic tickets are just about enforcing the rules of the road – and not about unabashedly pumping cash into municipal coffers – remind him about this city's outlandish budget proposal just fired off to the state. It would require the Paterson Police Department to dish out another 30,000 traffic tickets each year – or 80 tickets a day – to generate an extra $3 million for the cash-strapped city. The Paterson Press says this ticket blitz – fair or not – is part of a worst-case, revenue-generating scenario that also includes widespread layoffs and furloughs, leaving the city short “only” $2.1 million for the upcoming year.
STATEWIDE – Mourners at local funeral homes may soon be able to enjoy a nosh, perhaps sandwiches, pastries or cookies, as they bid farewell to Great-Uncle Bernie. For many years, New Jersey has been one of the few states that bans food and drink anywhere near the dearly departed. But Assemblywoman Nancy Pinkin (D-Middlesex) says it is time to change things up. The current law was created more than a half-century ago when folks figured that having dead bodies and food in the same room don’t exactly mix. But now, in an era when a Texas funeral home actually features a Starbucks, perhaps New Jersey’s law needs a second look.
BARNEGAT – Any surprise that no one showed up for Friday morning council meetings? The Township Committee is scrapping these monthly workshop meetings, which started at the ungodly hour of 8 a.m. Why? The room was empty, except for some bleary-eyed department heads required to go. Deputy Mayor Albert Bille tells The Sandpaper: “Attendance was pretty much non-existent … we weren’t having a lot of useful discussions.” Unbelievable, right? Just maybe, every so often, some taxpayers could have skipped the breakfast special at Lucille's Country Kitchen; or canceled their cardiac exam; or showed up late for work to hear the Barnegat brain-trust talk about rainwater runoff and club raffles. Well, that ship has now sailed.
JERSEY CITY – Leaping lions, dancing elephants and tiger tricks may soon be things of the past here. Jersey City is poised to be the state's first city to prohibit circuses, carnivals, parades and petting zoos on private or public property if wild or exotic animals perform tricks, fight or give rides. The City Council is to vote tomorrow on Mayor Steve Fulop’s proposal. A Ringling Brothers spokesman says it's all just “political grandstanding,” but the Humane Society tells the Jersey Journal such measures are necessary to protect captive wildlife: “Animals don't want to do tricks. They're afraid not to.” Sounds like some politicians.
TRENTON — Nice to see a new $54 million investment being made in our capital city. A New York-based developer closed deals with city officials recently to buy seven abandoned residential properties, to become multifamily housing. The head of Boro Diverse Construction tells N.J. Advance Media he sees “a beautiful future in Trenton,” and Victor Abreu says he's got his eye on six more distressed properties, hoping to create new construction jobs and more affordable housing. The developer had planned to invest in Camden, but “fell in love with this city's character and history.” Trenton is certainly rich in history. And, yep, it's got lots of characters.
ON THE BOOKSHELF – Perhaps if he had penned the next “Harry Potter,” Cory Booker would have reaped more than $400,000 for his political autobiography. Why not tell the thrill-filled adventure of a bright, Twitter-infused, Jersey-born wizard? Toss in some scrappy magical sidekicks who help him rescue damsels and puppies; vanquish snowstorms with his enchanted shovel; and battle right-wing political forces in a mythical fiefdom? Nah, says Booker: “This wasn’t about, ‘Hey, let’s tell the Cory Booker story’ … this was, 'I want to show the power of human connection that makes America special, the need for courageous empathy, and for us to act on our ideals.'” (insert zzz here.) Spells might keep the book on the Times best-seller list for longer than a week. And sure, more royalties for the magical coffers.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
ENFIELD, Conn. – The full force of the Enfield Police Department, and other first responders, has come to the rescue of a local squirrel, whose head somehow got stuck in a plastic cup. When authorities arrived at the scene, the frantic victim was wildly jumping and flipping in the air, trying to get the cup off his head. First responders first tried to remove the cup, but the squirrel was jumping all over the place. One cop came up with a brilliant idea, putting a blanket over the critter to hold it steady, while another was able to remove the cup. The happy patient then scampered into nearby bushes, as authorities celebrated a job well done.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1859 that America saw its first air mail. The mail was transported by hot air balloon in Lafayette, Indiana, as many gawkers gawked.
WORD OF THE DAY
Slugabed [SLUHG-uh-bed] – noun
Definition: A lazy person; someone who stays in bed long after he or she should be awake.
Example: You can’t be a slugabed if you need to write this every morning.
WEATHER IN A WORD
Sweltering.