The Morning Briefing - July 27, 2016
PHILADELPHIA – You can certainly say “history was made” last night as Hillary Clinton became the first woman to lead a major party ticket in our nation's 240-year history. Big stuff, except that this news seemed rather orchestrated and somewhat stale. Probably why we didn’t hear even one convention attendee mention it during dizzying array of events that began at sunrise yesterday and lasted until way, way, way after the evening’s official fanfare became a cocktail-induced blur. Hanging at a party at the Franklin Institute at 1 a.m., with “The Nerds” cranking out their signature tunes, you could hear Garden State attendees discussing everything Jersey. Yeah sure, Hillary made history. But, wait, doesn’t the open bar end in an hour?
PHILADELPHIA – Of the many New Jersey politicians you could find hanging out at the airport’s Renaissance Hotel, where the state delegation is stuck in what clearly was a swamp, some have specific and actual legitimate reasons for being there. NewarkInc cornered Mayor Ras Baraka, found casually leaning against a banister at a mid-morning reception, and asked, “So, uh, why are you here?” Baraka’s response was unique. He’s not there to tour the historic sites, wave “Hillary” banners in front of TV cameras or participate in the “Make Your Own Bloody Mary” bar. Rather, he wants federal lawmakers to know Newark desperately needs money, and they are the ones who are going to provide it. Read the article here.
PHILADELPHIA – Another great find at the Renaissance Hotel are all the smiling gubernatorial candidates, salivating to make their big mark in 2017. The big contenders are all hosting breakfasts, lunches, dinners and other events, as their banners fly proudly through the reception rooms. For many of these candidates, happy to buy you a mimosa, the 2016 elections are a mere distraction for the next few months. Each wants the state Democrats attention focused squarely where it needs to be: pushing them as the lead contender for the grand prize of 2017: a one-way ticket to Drumthwacket.
ROCHELLE PARK – On the lam from the cops? Well, stay off social media! That's precisely how police detectives here found a 28-year-old reputed gang member wanted for a 2012 stabbing. First, they found the Passaic man's whereabouts posted on Facebook, then drove over to the restaurant where he worked to slap him in handcuffs on Monday, the Record reports. He is now in the Passaic County Jail on aggravated assault and weapons charges. A separate “gang criminality” charge is worse, carrying up 30 years in prison. Of course, he already seems to be serving life for criminal stupidity. Now trending…
ATLANTIC CITY – Great news for city workers; it looks like they may actually get paid this week. While the drama of Atlantic City’s finances seems to have fallen to the back pages, the financial situation is really no better. A city spokesman confirmed yesterday that, yes, the city has the full intention of making payroll this week, despite sending out a letter that there was no way Atlantic City could cover its $7 million monthly nut without a bridge loan from the state, as part of the “rescue law” that has been concocted. No money yet, but city officials say they will somehow be able to muster all financial obligations for this entire week, after searching under all couch cushions. So, um, good news, there.
NORTH WILDWOOD – So, how do you get to the Town of Angelesa? Answer: Petition, referendum and vote. Talk of changing North Wildwood's name to Angelesa – which was its original name from 1885-1906 – seems to be on everyone's lips in this tiny oceanfront town. The Press of Atlantic City says the great name debate began when the grandson and great grandson of Angelesa's last mayor, Harry C. Wheaton, rounded up 105 petition signatures for a Nov. 8 ballot referendum. The Wheaton family says Angelesa sounds “prettier,” and it just might stop young, hard-partying summer fun-seekers from mistaking their sedate shore town for rowdier Wildwood. Perhaps include this line in the ordinance: Absolutely no Doo-Wop.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
SPRINGFIELD, MA – Need good rhyme or reason to vote for the next President? Well, the “Cat in the Hat” might be a much clearer choice for you than any Democrat or Republican. The Cat announced his candidacy yesterday at the childhood home of his creator, Theodor “Dr. Seuss” Geisel, part of an event to launch a new book: “One Vote, Two Votes, I Vote, You Vote,” the Springfield Republican reports. The Cat's platform is outlined in “If I Ran the Circus,” and includes working with Red Fish, Blue Fish on ocean conservation; partnering with Lorax on environmental issues, and providing “Green Eggs and Ham” to fight hunger. The Cat's spokeswoman says his candidate will gladly release personal tax returns.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 2014 that discount store Dollar Tree bought its rival for more than a dollar. Actually, it was $8.5 billion to buy Family Dollar, including all that terrific inventory, such as bargain toothpaste, chipped dinner plates and Whoopie® cushions.
WORD OF THE DAY
Assumpsit – noun
Definition: A legal term, an implied promise or contract.
Example:
“Mr. Kennedy, what is the definition of assumpsit?”
“Uhhh…”
“Mr. Kennedy, you realize assumpsit was the first word in your reading?”
“Yes. I circled it because I didn’t know what it meant.”
“Mr. Kennedy, do you own a dictionary? That’s what people use when they don’t know a word.”
I never showed up unprepared for Professor Elizabeth Warren again.
—Joseph P. Kennedy III, as quoted in The Boston Globe, July 26, 2016
WEATHER IN A WORD
Stifler.