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The Morning Briefing - July 22, 2016

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL - Well, Donald Trump's vision of America is a damn scary place. There is rampant violence, terrorism, tens of thousands of crazy undocumented immigrants, hateful foreign ideologies and ISIS spreading everywhere. Of course, the GOP Presidential candidate told his convention last night, this is all the fault of Hillary Clinton, blaming all the "death, destruction, terrorism, and weakness" on her and President Obama. As we hide under our beds, clutching our trembling, wide-eyed children, and silently pray to the correct God, we can be assured there is a savior. And he will rise on November 8, when Americans in droves dare to surface from their bomb shelters, drive down the crumbling streets, dodge the bullets and finally reach the local, dimly lit polling place. There, they can vote for change. An America that will be great again. 

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL - OK, time to switch topics (finally). The Democratic National Convention begins on Monday, and it is the Democrats' turn to show their marvelous vision for America. They need to build an air-tight case for Hillary Clinton, battered on the airwaves over the past four nights. They need to prove to skeptical Americans that she is actually just a normal person. They need to show that Hillary is likable, trustworthy, competent and can do a better job than a fully grown Oompa Loompa with zero government experience and zero diplomatic skills, who's reckless with everyone's money except his own. It would seem an easy task, but America is wary of a liberal agenda with free college for all, a $15 minimum wage, tighter regulation of Wall Street, and many other goodies that taxpayers would foot. 

TRENTON - Now that Gov. Chris Christie is gloriously returning to New Jersey, there are high hopes that all those "non-essential" stalled construction projects can get kick-started again. NJ.com reports there has been some productive back-and-forthing with State Sen. Steve Sweeney over a proposed gas tax that could fund the Transportation Trust Fund. There is talk of a 23-cent-a-gallon hike, in exchange for tax cuts and credits elsewhere. Many are confident this can be hashed out; it is an old news story that begs for a conclusion.

TRENTON - Making late bill payments is never good, especially if you're the state's capital city. Being in arrears by $42,000 nearly forced a shutdown of the city's four public pools, enjoyed by thousands on these hot summer days. A Georgia company won a $185,000 contract to manage city pools and supply lifeguards, but it backed out of the contract this week fearing it would take a bath. To keep the pools open until September 12, the City Council last night turned back to its trusty standby, the Trenton YMCA, which had the contract for the past two summers at a higher cost. At least, the Y knows what it's doing. Its CEO was the city's recreation director for six years and is now a Mercer County freeholder. Politics aside, c'mon in! The water's fine. 

PATERSON - The waters are murkier in this cash-strapped city, where Mayor Joey Torres has decided to shut down the city's two municipal pools and 36 free summer camps for 3,000 kids on August 12. The move will also end jobs for 400 adults and teens who staff the pools and camps. Recreation director Benjie Wimberly is balking, telling the Paterson Press the city shouldn't start belt-tightening with programs that are fun and beneficial for children and their families. With a city budget of $275 million, Wimberly says, the $2.4 million that Paterson spends on recreation is "a drop in the bucket ... less than one percent of the city budget." Voters, with bored kids, remember this stuff. 

BRICK - Nothing says police safety like boogying down. Sound silly? It's not. Tonight, the Brick Township Rotary hosts its 32nd annual "Bullet Proof Vest Fund Dance" to raise money for ... bet you guessed it, body armor for local police officers and even their K-9 Unit dogs. Since this fundraiser began in 1985, the Rotary has raised more than $750,000 to keep officers safe. Tonight, there will be music by The Infernos, a hot and cold buffet, and a cash bar at the VFW Hall on Adamston Road. Get more info about contributions or tickets at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

SCOTCH PLAINS - And because we are giving shout-outs to fundraisers for first responders, you don't want to miss the "Wetdown" in Scotch Plains at noon tomorrow, as the volunteer firefighters welcome a new fire truck at town hall. If you have never been to a Wetdown, it is a ceremonial event with fire trucks from all other towns coming in to "wet down" the new truck, TapInto explains. Entrance is just $15 per person, and that includes live music, food, kids' stuff and a plastic mug that you could fill again and again with your favorite sudsy beverage throughout the day. Fun for a good cause? You bet.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS 

BOOTHBAY HARBOR, ME - Lucky "Larry the Lobster" got a last-minute reprieve. Instead of ending up as the featured meal at a Florida restaurant, the elderly 15-pound crustacean was airlifted on ice to the Maine State Aquarium this week to begin his retirement. Larry, you see, could be anywhere from 60 to 110 years old, WPLG-TV reports. An animal rescue group paid the restaurant owner $300 to spare Larry from the boiling kettle, then the group collected donations to ship him to Maine. Aquarium staff gave Larry a clean bill of health, and will soon decide if he should live out his golden years with a 17-pound lobster already in their exhibit or be released into the sea, where Larry's luck might run out and he could end up back in a Florida restaurant.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY 

It was this day in 1975 that the House of Representatives votes to restore the citizenship of Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee. The general - dead for 105 years at that point, after spending his final years waging a massive bloodbath to secede from the United States - would have likely said, "Uh, Yippee?"

WORD OF THE DAY 

Usufruct (YOO-zuh-frukt) - noun 

Definition: The right to use or enjoy something 

Example: While Billy is on vacation with his parents, he is giving Susie a usufruct to use his old, rusty, chainless bicycle. 

WEATHER IN A WORD 

Sandcastles.