The Morning Briefing - July 18, 2016
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Admittedly, we don’t watch reality TV as a company policy. But, how can we avoid the ultimate reality show – the Republican National Convention – scripted by ego-maniac Donald Trump. It’s like attending a block party for the neighborhood bully, complete with plastic smiles, limp handshakes and strong drinks while quietly praying the bully doesn’t give you a wedgie. The Republican establishment won’t be anywhere near Cleveland this week, as Trump and show producers try to prove this is the next generation for the party of Lincoln and Reagan. So, sit back and enjoy this cringe-worthy show. Don't expect any of the big-name sports legends Trump promised. You also won't see the likes of President George H.W. Bush or ex-governors Mitt Romney, Christine Todd Whitman and Tom Kean. Say hello, instead, to Trump's wife and kids; and that guy from “Duck Dynasty,” and actors from “The Young and the Restless,” “General Hospital” and “Charles in Charge.” America: You asked for this. Now, you've got it.
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Hey, no worries. That is the message from Gov. Chris Christie, who is telling supporters that he “wasn’t out looking” for the job as Trump’s VP candidate. Of course, that is one crazy lie, as the governor has no other political option than to be hitched to the Trump wagon. (The Washington Post just crowned Christie the politician with “The Worst Week in Washington.”) Christie did tell supporters last night he was “honored to be considered, and obviously I was considered pretty deeply into the game,” the Record reports. Either Christie is a remarkably talented and successful leader, with a stunning track record, or Trump had a short bench to pick from. You decide.
MILWAUKEE – It's official: Gov. Chris Christie is a bobblehead. The National Bobblehead Hall of Fame and Museum here released photos today of the first-ever Christie bobbleheads. These limited edition items are selling for $20 plus shipping on the museum website and come in a nick of time for Donald Trump's unfaltering yes-man's appearance at the Republican National Convention. Museum CEO Phil Sklar says Christie bobbleheads were the most requested political figurines aside from those of actual presidential hopefuls. Christie is the ninth bobblehead in the Museum’s 2016 Presidential Series.
TRENTON – Remember all those construction vehicles sitting on the side of the road last week? Yep, they are still there, as the statewide public road and rail construction shutdown drags into the second week, NJ.com reports. New Jersey begs for a compromise, as a standoff continues between the state Senate and Gov. Chris Christie over funding the Transportation Trust Fund. The governor has frozen $3.5 billion in what the administration deemed nonessential work, including more than 900 road projects and hundreds more rail projects. For anyone hanging around Cleveland this week, look 10 paces behind Trump. There, you will see Christie; ask him about this crisis at home. There are thousands of New Jersey families and hundreds of idle businesses that are a wee bit curious.
WOODBRIDGE – Republicans must switch from red to rainbow if Donald Trump and down-ticket GOP candidates hope to win in New Jersey this November. That's the message state Republican leadership will deliver at this week's GOP convention. They unanimously decided to ask the Republican National Committee to eliminate from its national platform any wording that discriminates the LGBT community, the Record reports. At the behest of openly gay Passaic County GOP Chair John Traier, who married his same-sex partner of 28 years last year, they hope the RNC adopts “neutral language” that doesn't support or condemn alternate lifestyles. That should prompt an interesting yelp from the Bible Belt, which considers all of New Jersey to be positively “flaming.”
CLIFTON – Crowd-funding for nuns could become a habit. A city woman who needed to repay $12,000 in student loans actually raised over $22,000 on GoFundMe. Alida Taylor told CBS News she couldn't make the leap from Broadway costume designer to the sisterhood unless she was debt free, a requirement to join the Manhattan-based Sisters of Life. Turning to GoFundMe just made practical nun-sense to Taylor because she’ll no longer earn a salary after she and 14 other women become novitiates this fall. And what about the extra $10,000? The church has some ideas.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
LEWISTON, Maine – For months, the Maine Department of Health and Human Services has known that residents using food stamps, called EBTs, have the wrong phone number on the back of their cards. So, rather than reaching an automated line that tells them their balance, they reach a sex line, welcoming them to "America's hottest talk line." The Sun Journal says the state is well aware and plans to replace the cards – to the disappointment of women paid 25 cents a minute to repeatedly go “oooo” and “aaaah.”
ONLINE – Let’s assume a cranky old landlord wrote this flyer and stuck it on his fence: “This is a private yard, for tenants of the building only, not for Pokemon chasing. GET A LIFE AND STAY OUT OF MY YARD.” He then added that Pokemon is “by far the stupidest thing I have ever seen and I have lived through:”
- Hammer Pants;
- Crystal Pepsi;
- Trickle-down economics;
- The Macarena;
- The Presidency of George W Bush; and
- Ten seasons of CSI: Miami
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
The bookcase-making industry took another hit on this date in 2014, when Amazon announced a monthly subscription for people to borrow a virtual endless list of books for the Kindle.
WORD OF THE DAY
Caesura (sih-ZYUR-uh) – noun
Definition: break, interruption
Example: “When someone asks which Presidential candidate is going to get my vote, the caesura of a deep breath inserts itself before I can muster a reply.”
WEATHER IN A WORD
97.