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The Morning Briefing - July 15, 2016

TRENTON – Maybe the senior partner at the Manhattan law firm of Gibson, Dunn and Crutcher will name his new yacht “The Christie,” as the Record reports that New Jersey taxpayers have now handed nearly $8.2 million to the governor’s private attorneys for the Bridgegate mess. The latest tab was revealed last night by the state attorney general, showing the law firm continues to churn out the hefty bills on our dime. Oh, and there was $2.3 million that went to the risk management firm, Stroz Friedberg, hired to dig up subpoenaed documents. So, we’re at $10.5 million and climbing. But at least we can be assured justice is being served… uh, right?

STATEWIDE – The next time someone asks us if New Jersey is as corrupt as depicted across the world, it will be tough to sidestep the latest black eye. This time, the former, well-respected Port Authority chair, David Samson, falls on the sword, admitting he shook down United Airlines for a special commercial flight to his vacation digs in Aiken, South Carolina. And, now, former well-respected DOT Commissioner Jamie Fox is in the cross hairs, accused of helping to secure what has become “The Chairman’s Flight.” At least, there’s already a name for the tell-all book.

TRENTON – Yet, through all the muck, Gov. Chris Christie has been silently praying that he would be the big winner of the biggest Trump reality show, hoping to “Be Hired!” in the veep sweepstakes. But there must be some sanity in the Trump camp. As much as The Donald loves his blind attack dog, so committed to “law and order,” there’s no way he can put him center stage with such a checkered record in New Jersey. All indications point to Indiana Gov. Mike Pence as the big winner. (Perhaps it includes lunch with Ivanka!) Trump keeps “winning,” as Christie remains in his back pocket; there is no political Plan B for our lame-duck governor.

ON THE RAILS – It’s not all bad for Gov. Chris Christie. The Asbury Park Press notes he got to chat up New York Mets ace Noah Syndergaard on Amtrak’s Acela on Wednesday night, somewhere between Trenton and Newark. Christie and “Thor” sat for a bit, likely talking about when best to throw down the hammer.

HACKENSACK – Bergen County freeholders aren't clowning around. They want to ban any exotic animal shows from circuses, carnivals, parades or trade shows on county-owned property. Calling their treatment of animals inhumane, a group called the League of Humane Voters has held public protests and pushed for the ban on these traveling circuses. Freeholder Joan Voss introduced the measure to protect a dozen categories of exotic animals, including lions, tigers, bears, elephants, kangaroos, even snakes. Shows or parades with dogs, horses, donkeys and mules are okay, apparently. P.T. Barnum would have some strong opinions about this ordinance.

CHERRY HILL – Offensive? Too controversial? Or free speech? At first, managers of the Cherry Hill Mall asked a kiosk owner to stop selling $20 anti-police brutality T-shirts featuring two stick figure cops beating a third figure on the ground. Then, the mall apologized and reversed its decision, calling it “hasty.” But, kiosk operator Amir Miller tells the Philadelphia Inquirer the mall's change of heart came after he threatened to close up shop, and posted a Facebook video, and the media turned a spotlight on the dispute over his “This Has to Stop” T-shirts. Miller told the newspaper he doesn't think the mall's apology was sincere: “A bully's only sorry when they get caught.” We’ll let the mall’s PR Department handle this one.

LEONIA – A hot seat in hell may not be punishment enough for two thieves who stole a motorized wheelchair from a 14-year-old boy with Cerebral Palsy. One of the two men hopped into the $12,000 wheelchair and drove it away from where it was parked outside Broad Avenue building on Thursday afternoon, the Record reports. Police Chief Thomas Rowe provided detailed descriptions of the two suspects in an email to residents' community listservs. Leonia PBA Local 381 is also offering a $1,000 reward for information that leads to the arrest of the two suspects.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

CARLISLE, Pa. – “Dude, no idea why there’s a human brain under my porch!” That’s the likely alibi of a local man, believed to have been spraying the embalming fluid from his pet brain on marijuana to enhance the buzz. The man was charged yesterday with abusing a corpse, after his aunt found the brain stuffed in a department store bag under a porch while cleaning out a trailer. It appears to have been stolen from a school and, apparently, all that formaldehyde-soaked pot makes for a super-duper high. Court papers note the guy named the brain, “Freddy.”

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

Under the heading of “Boring, But Oh-So-Important,” it was this day in 1941 that Florey and Heatley present freeze-dried mold cultures, which would become penicillin, saving countless lives for generations to come.

WORD OF THE DAY

annus mirabilis (ann-us-muh-RAH-buh-lus) – noun

Definition: A remarkable or notable year

Example: It has been an annus mirabilis for Little Susie, as the heatwave has sent lemonade profits through the roof.

WEATHER IN A WORD

Steamier.