The Morning Briefing - April 19, 2016
ORADELL – If you live almost anywhere else but Oradell, New Jersey Family thinks you're a loser. Well, okay, that may be exaggerating quite a bit. But, the magazine sure thinks highly of Oradell's 8,000 residents, all smart enough to live its 2016 choice of “New Jersey's Best Town for Families.” The magazine gushes “it packs enormous amenities into a very small package.” The magazine cites Oradell's picturesque downtown, beautiful waterfront and parks, good schools, and low crime rate among its perks. New Jersey has 564 towns, but the magazine ranks only 508 of them. The other 56 towns didn't rate even a mention. Ranked among the “Top Ten Best Towns” are Montgomery, Bethlehem, Boonton, Fredon, Pennington, Mendham Borough, Milltown, Mendham Township and Essex Fells. See how New Jersey Family ranks your community, losers.
STATEWIDE – I’ll trade you one serious crime and up to two less-serious, disorderly person’s offenses for an expungement of my record. That seems to be the new deal in New Jersey, where former criminals, like small-time drug dealers, one-time burglars, and our beloved crooked ex-public officials, can get their criminal records expunged, the Philadelphia Inquirer says. Criminal offenses that were dismissed without finding guilt may also be eligible to get expunged from records. And the new law lets offenders seek expungements after five years, down from 10 years. Go to "Clearing Your Record Online" to see if you qualify. And, remember, no need to bribe anyone here. Read even more stuff here.
TRENTON – Assembly members Tim Eustace and Gordon Johnson have been apparently combing through state law on their spare time. And they don’t like what they see, Politico reports. The word “Negro” still sits in a law that requires schools to incorporate material on the history of blacks in America; the lawmakers prefer the term “African-American.” And, get this: The state law’s definition of acupuncture is described as “oriental medicine based on traditional oriental medical theories.” The lawmakers ask: Why not change it to read “traditional Chinese medicine?” Updating the law is nothing new, Politico notes, reporting in 2011 that state Sens. Loretta Weinberg and Jennifer Beck removed a law that said a woman forfeited her property rights to her husband if she was “ravished.” (Whatever that means.)
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – One of the toughest things about being friends with Donald Trump is that you actually have to talk to the guy. Gov. Chris Christie says he chews the fat with the GOP frontrunner every day on the phone. Trump asks questions, they chat, or sometime Christie just listens and listens as Trump talks about Trump, or perhaps how the words “trumping” and “huge” should somehow be inserted into the Pledge of Allegiance. “He and I have never been one to mince words with each other,” Christie told reporters. “I think that’s part of the reason for our friendship being as long-standing as it is.”
EAST RUTHERFORD – Every time we write something about the stalled mega-, mega-mall in the Meadowlands, we get a call from a real estate broker suggesting we should lay off this terrific, sorely needed monster of an investment. So, we guess we can’t express some snarky shock that, once again, there are delays in the completion of this hulking mass of retail, food and fun, as part of this 10-year odyssey to create more opportunity for people to spend money. The latest developer, the third one to take on this project, believes that $1 billion in public bonds will be sold this summer to finish this thing and, darn it, expect an imminent ribbon-cutting! Meanwhile, the Record notes, there is precious little construction activity at the 91-acre site, as turbulent financial markets, yet again, seem to be an overwhelming obstacle. In other news, the East Rutherford mayor – who agreed to issue $675 million in taxable bonds to the developer – told the newspaper over the weekend he hasn’t heard from these guys since last year. The developer vows to provide an update. Can’t wait.
NEW BRUNSWICK – If you have 6 minutes and 33 seconds of your life that you would like to waste, check out this video of Rutgers University students trying to get snack food from a campus vending machine. This film could be Oscar material. Click here.
IN THE MEDIA
New Jersey is saying good-bye to one of the state's great journalists, Mary Jo Patterson, who worked at The Star-Ledger for 30 years and whose unparalleled writing and reporting was part of nearly every important news story of her time. Friends and colleagues recalled her as unflappable, focused - the heart and soul of the paper. She was part of The Star-Ledger team that won the Pulitzer Prize for breaking news in 2005. She documented 9-11, its aftermath, and ten years later wrote a poignant essay on the terrorist attack that said, "We can also remind ourselves of the vows we made to let the people close to us know we care about them, and live every day as if could be our last." Mary Jo Patterson died Sunday at age 70.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
BUFFALO, N.Y. – In what has become an annual sign of spring, another university has managed to botch the application process. This time, “Oops University” happens to be the University of Buffalo, which sent emails to more than 5,000 prospective students last Wednesday, telling them the exciting news – before the school even had a chance to review the applications. Oops U then sent a second email about four hours later, saying “oops” and “whoops” and “uh, sorry.” Prospective students’ response? “Duh.”
AT THE DRUGSTORE – All these students entering pharmacy schools across America – prepared for a deep dive into the study of Pharmacokinetic Variability, Mammalian Physiology and Immunopharmacology – should probably also take a course in “Retail Pharmacy 101: Real Life.” Yes, you will be working 12-hour graveyard shifts in a drive-thru. Yes, you will be ringing up gift wrap, deodorant and M&Ms as an under-appreciated, over-educated cashier in an understaffed department. Yes, people will ask you to look at foot fungus and demand a diagnosis. And, now, CVS Health announces it will have curbside pick-up of stuff bought outside the pharmacy. With such crushing competition from Walgreens, how soon shall we expect the pharmacist to be standing outside, shivering in the rain, with a stapled bag of Viagra?
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1971 that Sierra Leone became a republic, and Siaka Stevens the president. Or, that Siaka Stevens became a republic and Sierra Leone the president. It’s reader’s choice this morning.
WORD OF THE DAY
Clishmaclaver (KLISH-mah-klay-ver) — noun
Definition: Casual chat or gossip
Example: There was plenty of clishmaclaver over Bob’s decision to wear the latest perfume from Justin Bieber.