The Morning Briefing - April 13, 2016
STATEWIDE - As 36,000 union workers went on strike at 6 a.m., after stalled contract talks with Verizon, many must be thinking: "What are we doing? We have these outdated jobs to fix landline telephones and cable in people's homes, as people can go online to troubleshoot their own problems and, by the way, everything is going wireless. We still get paid well, and Verizon wants to give us raises, continue retirement benefits, 401(k) matches and healthcare. The company wants to mediate this, yet we are shivering out here, drinking weak coffee, not doing our jobs and not getting paid by the company. Why?"
AT WORK - Perhaps striking Verizon workers should check out the rankings of the god-awful jobs in 2016, with the worst outlook for the future. Kiplinger is out with its annual report this morning, showing the absolute worst possible job is door-to-door salesman, with a negative 29 percent job growth in the past year, a projected job growth of negative 23 percent for the next 10 years and a median annual salary of $20,732, with no college required. These guys are being replaced by e-blasts and tweets. Other bleak jobs for 2016 include: textile machine worker, floral designer, sewing machine operator, tailor and upholsterer. Notice we didn't say newspaper reporter?
ELIZABETH - The battle between Uber and Newark has escalated to a new level, with Elizabeth coming in from the southern flank to whack Uber. Elizabeth officials are joining in the anti-Uber movement, calling for a proposal that would regulate Uber and other ride-hail drivers that are doing business without hack licenses or medallions. Elizabeth may require these drivers to get background checks, drug tests, vehicle inspections and, of course, fork over some cash to City Hall each year for the privilege of serving the good people of Elizabeth.
DOWN THE SHORE - Always amazed to hear what Clean Ocean Action discovers during its volunteer beach sweeps of the 127-mile coastline. The annual report was out yesterday, and the 2015 list includes a beer keg, a container of birth control pills, an industrial-sized fan, a vintage Coke bottle, a rubber brain, an empty safe, rat traps, a toilet bowl, 314 condoms, 323 syringes and 3,432 tampon applicators, among many, many other discarded or washed-up things on the pearly-white shores of Jersey.
STATEWIDE - Lose $15 here. Drop $12.50 there. Soon we're talking big bucks. In fact, big bucks are what the Port Authority did lose - $114 million to be precise - since 2011 because of toll cheats. Worse, the bistate agency isn't doing a damn thing to collect that debt, the N.Y. Daily News reports. Most of its losses are from drivers using E-Z pass lanes to bypass toll booths without paying at the George Washington Bridge, the Lincoln and Holland tunnels, and three crossings to Staten Island. Even with mounting losses, the Port Authority still collected a record $1.5 billion in tolls last year. So, who needs a measly $114 million?
OCEAN CITY - Welcome to the "Best Beach in America!" Ocean City, already self-touted as "American's Greatest Family Resort," just won Coastal Living magazine's first "best beach" contest. With more than 100,000 online votes, in an NCAA-style competition, Ocean City bested Huntington Beach, CA., and beat out shore towns from 30 other states. Ocean City, with its popular 2.5-mile boardwalk, will be featured in Coastal Living's June edition. The city's giddy marketing director says the victory would elevate Ocean City's tourism industry profile and pack in even more annual visitors. And there goes the neighborhood.
STANDING IN LINE - Seriously? No more bank tellers? Instead, Wells Fargo is rolling out a high-tech branch in Washington, D.C. with just a few tablet-toting, tech-savvy workers who help customers navigate technology to deposit checks, apply for loans, and open accounts, the Washington Post reports. None of them touch cash; such branches are paperless. It has no desks, no traditional counter, no loan officers or branch manager. With this roll-out, and plans for a nationwide push, is it any wonder why the number of bank employees in the D.C. metro area dropped by half, to 5,990, over the last five years? Thanks to ATMs, debit cards, more online banking and still-unimagined technology, the nation's banking industry expects at least a 30 percent decrease in jobs by 2025. The bigger question: who will give us lollipops?
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
ODESSA, Texas - When a local woman dies one day, it's really not necessary to send her to the Pearly Gates. Rather, let's make the decision now that she is going somewhere else, much hotter, after police arrested her for stealing the ring off a corpse at a Texas funeral home. Surveillance video showed her reaching into an open casket and fumbling to remove something from a dead woman, before fleeing. The ring was only worth $10, but charges of "theft from a human corpse" are taken quite seriously, by the living and those haunting from the afterlife.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1782 that Washington, N.C., had the distinction as the very first town in the United States to be named after George Washington. That started a chain; there's now a total of 127 towns, places, minor civil divisions, counties, one District of Columbia and one state honoring our first General. It's good to win the war.
WORD OF THE DAY
Foofaraw (FOO-fah-ro) - noun
Definition: Unnecessary things added for ornamentation; excessive or flashy ornamentation; frills.
Example: I can't believe Monty wears all that ridiculous jewelry, rings, chains, earrings, cuff links, tie tacks and the rest of the foofaraw.