The Morning Briefing - February 3, 2016
WANTAGE – Rarely does Groundhog Day have a storyline beyond whether the critter saw his shadow. But the New Jersey Herald has an actual Feb. 3 story with a twist: The groundhog died. Assemblyman Parker Space, who owns the groundhog named “Stonewall IV,” at his Wantage zoo, went to check on him Monday and prep him for his big photo op yesterday. But the groundhog had moved on to eternal hibernation – a big hit for the family farm that had been marking the holiday for 25 years.
ATLANTIC CITY – When New Jersey’s gaming resort was at its heyday in the 1920s, the sum of 18 cents could buy you 36 bars of soap. That same 18 cents can now be used to pay a “luxury tax” on the boardwalk’s tram cars. The Press of AC says the state is bearing down on the boardwalk’s tram car operator, forcing the company to pay a nine percent tax on a $2 ride. So, now, that ride on the boards will cost you $2.18. Now, the tram operators will be spending their days handing out 82 cents in change, over and over. Perhaps that will break up the excitement of driving up and down the boardwalk all day.
PARAMUS – The merry-go-round didn't break down. Instead, owners of Westfield Garden State Plaza pulled the plug on the indoor double-decker carousel Saturday after its operator's lease expired. Once the carousel company packs up its leaping horses, happy dinosaurs and cushy loveseats, the Record says, the Bergen Performing Arts Center will use that space for shows promoting everything wonderful about Bergen County. Sounds like surefire fun for sticky-fingered mall-moppets avoiding another JCPenney spree with mom.
EAST BRUNSWICK – Cue the Jeopardy thinking music as the Republican-controlled Town Council makes up its mind about which Democrat should warm the mayor's seat for the 11 remaining months of David Stahl's term. The Star-Ledger says township Dems offered up three choices: Deborah Cornavaca, head of the library board of trustees; school board member Kevin McEvoy; and Edward Janzekovich, an attorney and retired police lieutenant. Stahl, a Democrat-turned-Republican, stepped down as mayor to become a municipal court judge. Final Jeopardy won't be played until Nov. 8, when both parties square off in a heated mayoral election.
CLINTON — Rare to hear talk about closing a public school these days, but that's what school board members in this rambling Hunterdon County town may do. They formed an ad-hoc committee to see just how much money could be saved by shuttering one of its three grade schools, the Hunterdon Review reports. Clinton – best known as home to western New Jersey's historic and picturesque landmark, the Red Mill – saw enrollment slip by 230 pupils to 1,425 kids since 2011. Developers are already dreaming of condos.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Crime doesn’t pay. Unless you live in the nation’s capital, where city officials are considering a bill that would pay the citizenry not to commit crime. Under this law, DC would identify 200 of the greatest potential dirtbags among the population who are “at risk” of breaking the law. If they undergo behavioral therapy, rather than pistol whipping some poor schlep for his smartphone, they would reap thousands of dollars of taxpayer money each year. So, technically, they would still be robbing their fellow citizens.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
Prior to being his own endangered species, President Nixon signed the Endangered Species Act on this day in 1973.
WORD OF THE DAY
Valetudinarian - (val-i-tood-en-AR-ee-en) — noun
Definition: A weak person who is constantly and morbidly concerned with his or her health.
Example: At first, I was shocked to hear that Mildred was somehow graduating at the top of her class. Nah, I was told, she’s just a valetudinarian.