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The Morning Briefing - February 2, 2016

PATERSON – A new math teacher at Don Bosco Tech barely had to learn the “mystery” in Tuesday’s meatloaf before he was yanked from the classroom. The Paterson Press reports the teacher is now dispatched to district headquarters, rather than his classroom, following a New York Post report that he was having sexual activity with high school kids in Queens. The teacher was hired December 9 to the $62,000 job, but now is awaiting investigations. His lawyer says he has never been charged with a crime. But for this math teacher, something doesn’t add up.

MANCHESTER — Council meetings may become traveling roadshows in this 83-square-mile “leisure village,” where senior citizens reign supreme. The council's sparsely-attended meetings already start a full hour earlier than most other towns – after the area's early-bird specials are done and before “Wheel of Fortune” comes on. Councilman Sam Fuscaro now tells the Manchester Times some sessions may be held at a school or fire station in the Whiting section, nearer to sprawling senior enclaves. With 41 percent of its 43,000 residents age 65 or older; many who won't or can't drive after dark, Fuscaro says hitting the road could help. Nice door prizes, ceramics or some canasta might also pack 'em in.

TOMS RIVER — Barring another Snooki-fest or “Real Housewives” smack-down, Ocean County wants to get back in the TV business. Here's the situation: Freeholder Joe Vicari thinks his county's oceanfront beaches, bays, boardwalks, scrub-pine forests and farms are perfect backdrops. “It would really perk up our local economy,” he tells the Toms River Times. So, Vicari is prodding county officials to mend fences with the state Motion Picture and Television Commission – battered since “Jersey Shore” heaped shame on Seaside Heights, season after season of drunken, suntanned stupidity. Vicari is also urging state officials to once again offer tax breaks to production companies, perhaps to lure “The Walking Dead” down Grand Central Avenue in Lavallette.

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – No surprise to everyone – including Gov. Chris Christie. Our governor had his clock cleaned by Iowa caucus voters, giving him an anemic 1.8 percent of the vote, ahead of only former Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum and former Virginia Gov. Jim Gilmore (who we didn’t even know was running.)  Christie knew the fate of the cards for weeks, which is why he was outta Iowa by mid-day yesterday, safely returning to the loving bosom of New Hampshire, where he will be traveling today alongside Hewlett Packard CEO Meg Whitman.

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Any surprise that the biggest donor to Gov. Chris Christie’s Presidential campaign is the law firm he hired to investigate the Bridgegate scandal?  NJ.com reports Christie's biggest source of cash between Oct. 1 and Dec. 31 was courtesy of Gibson Dunn & Crutcher; its employees gave $65,500. This is the same firm that conducted the taxpayer-financed investigation that, of course, cleared Christie of all wrongdoing. It is also the same firm that U.S. District Court Judge Susan Wigenton slammed for not keeping notes of its interviews with witnesses, with New Jersey taxpayers spending millions on "opacity and gamesmanship." 

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – The typical middle-aged white guy took it on the chin yesterday, as Democratic voters in Iowa gave the nod to an Arkansas grandma and a 74-year-old Vermont socialist with a Brooklyn accent. Hillary and Bernie are in a statistical dead heat in Iowa, as apparently they are the two best Democrats in the United States to keep the White House from salivating Republicans. Take a step back and mull that one over.

MILLTOWN – Better keep your shovels ready and snow blowers gassed up. Jersey's own Groundhog Day prognosticator, Milltown Mel 2nd, saw his shadow at the crack of dawn this morning, predicting six more weeks of winter, the Home News Tribune reports. For anyone who puts stock in marmot weather forecasting, Mel's more famous counterpart, Punxsutawney Phil, couldn't find his own shadow, meaning an early Spring. Best to hedge you're bets: Keep those winter coats, scarfs and mittens close at hand - at least when you are in Milltown. See more here.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Sarah Palin, who hates the media, yet worked for Fox News and looks for every chance to be in the media, was doing a media interview yesterday with the Today show, blasting the media. You betcha. Here’s classic Palin for all those left-wingy liberal media types: 

NBC’s Savannah Guthrie: “I want to ask you about something you said on the campaign trail, which is the arrest of your son Track. And you talked about it and you mentioned PTSD and you said that President Obama may be to blame for some of the PTSD that’s out there.”

Palin: “I never said that, I never said that.” 

Guthrie: “Let’s take it piece by piece and talk about exactly what you mean.”

Palin: “You guys brought me here to talk about Iowa politics and the caucus tonight not to talk about my kids. And that was a promise. But as things go in the world of media, you guys don't always keep your promises, evidently.” 

Remember, liberal media, the people don't elect U.S. Presidents, God does.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was on this day in 1922 that the clock hit 2:22:22 on 2/2/22. But don’t get us started about what happened in March 1933.

WORD OF THE DAY

Pilgarlic (pil-GAR-lik)  - noun

Definition: A bald-headed man

Example: Wait, did a manic pilgarlic just lose the Iowa caucus?