The Morning Briefing - November 4, 2015
WALL – Animal rescuers have been baaaad, trying for the past month to corral two wayward goats that have been wandering near the Garden State Parkway. The Asbury Park Press reports rescuers with the Associated Humane Societies of New Jersey have been working hard at Exit 100 to catch the pair, but have been concerned the skittish goats would just run onto the highway and go splat. No idea who owns these goats, as no one is stapling “Missing Goat” signs on local telephone poles. The latest strategy: installing a feeding station so the goats will meander over. Stay tuned.
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Kudos to Gov. Chris Christie for not signing on to that ridiculous GOP letter of whiny political candidates who don’t like the questions the media is posing in debates. The governor is absolutely correct that complaining is indicative of a candidate who isn’t ready for prime time. “If you're running for president of the United States and you can't handle yourself against three CNBC moderators without crying foul and calling for intervention then you're not going to do very well against Vladimir Putin, either,” Christie said on “Fox and Friends.” Darn right.
IN THE AIR – It’s often said: “Jersey gets you coming and going.” The latest expense for “going” may soon come from the Port Authority, now contemplating a fee for any taxi that dares drop off a passenger at Newark Liberty International Airport, NJ.com reports. The proposed surcharge comes on the heels of a recent $4 fee imposed at Dulles and Reagan National airports in Washington. “Hey,” figures the Port Authority, “not a bad idea.”
LODI – Perhaps three guys sitting in a diner booth can soon apply for “university” status from the state, as it seems like any school of any size is now becoming a university in New Jersey. The latest is “Felician University,” a school of 1,600 undergraduates that has met the state’s guidelines. On a serious note: our congratulations to Felician and a hearty shout of “F.U.!”
ATLANTIC CITY – Casino investors had big dreams of the Revel casino attracting the type of glamorous high rollers who once gleefully consumed the seashore resort. Now, the $2.4 billion shuttered casino could soon be home to homeless Syrian refugees. Glenn Straub, the Revel owner, is now battling through a pile of lawsuits, making it doubtful the casino will reopen anytime soon, AP reports. “We treat our dogs better than we treat the Syrians right now,” he said. “If the government wanted to house Syrian refugees, I'd give them use of the building.” Straub’s only request is that someone cover the cost of operating the place, so at least this former gleaming castle can generate some revenue.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
MONTPELIER, Vt. – It’s rare to hear “Bernie Sanders” and “underwear” in the same sentence. So here we go: A Vermont company is now hawking underwear featuring a black-and-white image of the Democratic candidate and the message “Feel the Bern.” The undergarments are available for both men and women at $15 plus shipping and handling. “Bernie's Briefs” were prompted after Sanders told a late-night TV audience that he prefers briefs over boxers. This could perhaps be the most profitable business in the history of Vermont.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was musical chairs on this day in 1992, as the Giants quit their 32-year relationship with WNEW and signed on with WOR. Meanwhile, the same day, the Jets said they were ditching WABC for WFAN.
WORD OF THE DAY
Desultory – adjective
Definition: Slow, sluggish
Forced to listen to desultory lectures from botany professors is the reason why you rarely run into a professional botanist.