The Morning Briefing - November 3, 2015
STATEWIDE – Shhh. If you are quiet enough you may hear the yawns of bored poll workers, who have to sit for another 10 hours and wait for voters who may trickle in. A very low turnout is expected for Election Day – which happens to be today, which is why your kids are coming home early. The top of the ticket is the Assembly race, with most, if not all, of the incumbents expected to win another two-year term. Polls are open 6 a.m. to 8 p.m. For some sick amusement, stop by the polls at 7:45 p.m. and tell the workers the clock is six minutes fast.
STATEWIDE – New Jerseyans can all turn toward the Hudson River, open our mouths wide and proclaim “Har-Har!” Why? Because New York’s taxes are actually worse than those in New Jersey, if that could be possible. Forbes is out with its latest analysis, putting New York at the top of the list for worst taxes, followed, of course, by New Jersey. The number crunchers say New Jersey has an average 12.3 percent state and local tax burden and an average property tax bill of $8,161. A Forbes fun fact: Only 0.2 percent of Americans pay more than $8,000 in property taxes, proving yet again that we are idiots to live here.
CAMDEN – As Newark was swept up yesterday in all the Presidential fanfare, there was Gov. Chris Christie throwing some barbs from 90 miles south. As Obama talked up criminal justice reforms, you could hear the governor in the distance claiming that the whole reform thing was his idea. Christie was in far-off Camden to tout crime reductions, while Obama was in Newark talking about ways to help former inmates get back on their feet. “I think it's wonderful for the president to come to New Jersey and acknowledge the work that's been done in New Jersey by leaders of New Jersey,” Christie said. Obama’s response? “Hey did you hear something? Ah, never mind.”
NEWARK – A nice scoop for NewarkInc.com yesterday, breaking the story about the ticked-off City Council members who received the royal snub during the Presidential visit. Council members said Mayor Ras Baraka told them that seats would be made available for local dignitaries, but then the mayor’s staff called back with the bad news. Fuming council members think this is the first time in the history of Newark that the City Council was not invited to a Presidential visit. Meanwhile, The Tenors are playing at NJPAC on Saturday. Perhaps the mayor can score nine comps…and then his staff can call back.
TRENTON – We’ve never heard of the FCC Consulting Services Company of Columbus, Ohio, but we bet it must be plenty pleased. The company is set to land a $2.4 million IT contract with the City of Trenton. The Trenton Times reports it must be a done deal because the company has already gotten the city’s computer passwords and is hard at work – even though the City Council doesn’t vote on the contract until Thursday.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
SEATTLE – Discovery Park may want to consult with a crackerjack PR firm like ours, as its current marketing message is “Avoid the Killer Owls.” One patron reported he was taking a stroll last week when he felt sharp claws digging into the back of his skull. He was able to flee, but KING-TV noted the Barred Owls tend to be a wee bit territorial around this time of year. Discovery Park, it was discovered, has already had at least 10 owl attacks this year. The park may post warning signs, but, then again, owls can’t read.
STATEWIDE – So, what’s with the ‘stache? That’s the phrase of the day, as men will grow mustaches in November to raise money to fight prostate cancer. It is “Movember,” and the time to propel a hairy lip back into fashion, apparently at all costs.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 2010 the U.S. Border Patrol discovered a sophisticated drug tunnel between Tijuana, Mexico and Otay Mesa, California. A huge victory for border patrol, but amazing that no one knew anything about construction of the 1,800-foot-tunnel – the size of six football fields and featuring rail, light and ventilation systems. Amazing it didn’t include a Dunkin’ Donuts.
WORD OF THE DAY
Callipygous – adjective
Definition: Having beautifully proportioned buttocks.
Example: “Ah, yes, Marcia. She comes from a callipygous family. You should meet great-uncle Mel.”