The Morning Briefing - September 15, 2015
HIGHLAND PARK – What’s the value of tripping in the parking lot and spilling hot coffee on yourself? Apparently, the magic number is $522,000 – the amount a North Plainfield woman will receive from Dunkin’ Donuts and its property owners from the 2012 incident, the Home News Tribune reports. Apparently, there was an exposed spike from a dislodged curb stop, tripping the woman who walked right into it. She tumbled and spilled hot coffee all over her face and neck.
LONG BRANCH – Rep. Frank Pallone may be going fourth and long on this issue – looking into the legality of fantasy football, the lifeblood of 57 million fans. Pallone wants a hearing on Capitol Hill, as he is especially curious how the leagues with cash rewards are different from interstate gambling websites, which are heavily regulated. Distinctions, Pallone says, are “murky.”
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – The figurative “Christie for President” bus has been abandoned on the side of the road, its tires stolen, as vultures poke around for abandoned snacks. The latest ABC News/Washington Post survey now has Christie at just 1 percent, tied with Rick Perry, who had the sense to drop out last week. When will our governor throw in the towel, or does he plan to continue at 1 percent through Inauguration Day?
NEW BRUNSWICK – The media on a feeding frenzy with the Rutgers football team can’t be surprised the administration won’t talk to them about the suspension of star Leonte Carroo, following his arrest for “simple assault under domestic violence related to an incident that occurred” at the team’s training center over the weekend. You can’t expect the university to speak with media, as any words whatsoever would prompt another round of national news and plenty of blistering columns. Our unsolicited advice? Stay focused on Saturday’s game against Penn State. Meanwhile, quietly get this team in order so it can win games and recruit.
NEW BRUNSWICK – For the media hanging around Rutgers today looking for someone to blast the football team, here is something to cover: At noon, a member of Criss Angel's the Supernaturalists is going to suspend himself in front of the State Theater. He’ll be in a 30-inch Plexiglass cube with 100 gallons of water. There will be locking bars across the top of the tank. His only way out? Hold his breath under the water as he picks the lock. It’s all very Houdini-like and certainly entertaining.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
ALTOONA, Pa. – After being arrested six times for shoplifting – and being convicted four times – it seemed like perfect sense for a local guy to stuff a bunch of raspberry cookies in his pants and sneak out of Martin’s Food Store. The Altoona Mirror says the cops were called and found $3.49 worth of cookies. Even though the value of the theft is small, cops see it as a felony because this chronic shoplifter just won’t stop.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1982 that USA Today begins publishing, ensuring hotel guests across America get all the most complex issues delivered in five paragraphs or less.
WORD OF THE DAY
Groaning-cheese – noun
Definition: Before there was an epidural, there was cheese. During Medieval times, a husband would help out by offering some “groaning cheese,” which apparently soothed the new mom in labor. As his wife screamed in pain, let’s assume the man had plenty of “groaning drink.”
Example: “Uh, sorry, honey, no groaning cheese yet. ShopRite doesn’t open until 6 a.m.”