The Morning Briefing - September 9, 2015
KEYPORT – With steamy temperatures hovering around 95 degrees, it may be the perfect time to declare a snow day for the Keyport schools. (Insert “Say, what?”) The district already burned up one of its two snow days on the school calendar. They did that yesterday when an electrical problem shut down the phones, Internet and fire alarms. The Asbury Park Press notes the schools are set to reopen this morning – unless, of course, there is a blizzard.
CAMDEN – South Jersey’s most impoverished city is known for plenty of irony – like this case of a city man dedicated to helping homeless drug addicts get treatment, and is now facing charges for running a drug den during his off-hours. The Courier-Post reports this program coordinator at a local shelter was selling heroin and crack cocaine at the same time he was leading the war on drugs. This guy was even lauded in a Courier-Post column in 2010, which gushed, "Through all the inaction and excuses, it is refreshing to find someone … who doesn't focus on what's not being done. He just does whatever it takes to improve the lives of Camden's destitute."
AT THE MALL – Apple continues to find ways to ensure parents have no money. After we all financially recovered from the latest round of Apple products that teenagers must have to keep their seat at the school cafeteria's cool table, Apple will be unveiling its new iPhone today, featuring a better camera and flash for nicer selfies. Sigh. Thanks Apple. Our wallets really appreciate your laser focus on our kids.
RIVERDALE – Plenty of guffaws at the Riverdale Police Department after cops arrested a 43-year-old man and two teens for stealing empty beer kegs from a local restaurant, apparently thinking they were full. NJ.com says a cop found the trio loitering around Blu Alehouse early yesterday. Cameras show them making off with $1,000 worth of empty kegs for some party. Probably should have let them have the kegs. It would have made for a very short-lived, un-epic bash. And, hey, what’s with that middle-aged guy trying to steal beer with teenagers?
TRENTON – Gov. Chris Christie is probably taking a crash course on New Jersey issues today, as he is set to appear tonight on NJ 101.5’s “Ask the Governor” program at 7 p.m. It will be interesting to hear the governor act as if he has been hard at work in New Jersey just three days after Christie joked with Concord, N.H. restaurant patrons that he now spends so much time in New Hampshire he may have to start paying property taxes there.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
MANHATTAN, KS. – We’re not the only sickos who see a very interesting formation for the Kansas State marching band, which performed what looks like the University of Kansas mascot gobbling up a phallic-looking Starship Enterprise during Saturday’s game. Many think there can be some misinterpretation here, as the university now has to pay a $5,000 fine and the band director will be sitting out some performances for “unsportsmanslike” behavior. The school – denying any wrongdoing and railing against “perverted” social media – has also agreed to pre-approval of its halftime shows, after dealing with a furious Big 12 conference.So much for this “space-themed” halftime show. See it here.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
Happy anniversary to the official end of the “Hart for President” campaign, as Gary Hart appears on “Nightline” on this day in 1987 to tell America he cheated on his wife with a little hottie.
WORD OF THE DAY
Aa – noun
Definition: A kind of volcanic lava that forms jagged masses with a light frothy texture. Better used for cocktail parties when discussion turns to what word could be the first entry in the Oxford English Dictionary.
Example: “Hey, did you get any of that aa on my Oxford English Dictionary?”