The Morning Briefing - July 23, 2015
MAPLEWOOD – Now, we are getting a preview of the defense argument for a 36-year-old Columbia High School teacher who repeatedly had sex with six boys in her car and classroom, even letting one of the students video the action. The reason: A brain condition known as “frontal lobe syndrome,” which her attorneys say, “rendered her defenseless to over-aggressive behavior.” This disability apparently resulted from brain surgery she underwent after pregnancy complications. That's how her defense will answer an embarrassing 40-count indictment. Think a jury will bite?
SPOTSWOOD – He wasn't just unwanted guest, he was a mystery guest. Local cops have nabbed a guy who hid under the bed in a spare bedroom of a Spotswood home for three days before homeowners heard a noise, found him and called police. The intruder apparently slipped in through an open garage door when the homeowner carried out trash, lived under the bed and using the electrical outlets to charge four cellphones. He’s looking at criminal trespass charges, but living under an old lady’s spare bed seems to be punishment enough.
SPRING LAKE – Usually, we don't mention when the sitting governor goes somewhere to announce funding for something. But, hey, Gov. Chris Christie is in New Jersey today. These days, that's actually “news!” Christie and state environmental officials will talk about funding to reduce flooding damage at an 11:30 a.m. visit to the Spring Lake Fire Company. Welcome back, governor!
FRANKLIN TOWNSHIP – Gay rights advocates will be in Somerset County tonight to blast a school board member who apparently called for the resignation of Board President Edward Potosnak. It is believed the board president expressed support for the Supreme Court’s decision on gay marriage during high school graduation ceremonies, ticking off the fellow board member. Now this board member has to deal with the Garden State Equality's Bullying Resource Center, which we are sure has prepared a nice speech for tonight’s 7:30 p.m. meeting at Franklin High School.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
NEW YORK – A big victory for burger-flippers and fry cooks, finally getting the raises they’ve been demanding. A state wage board is recommending the minimum wage be steadily increased to $15 an hour – a nice bump from the current $8.75 an hour that many are earning. The workers made a great point: With such crappy wages, these multi-national corporations like McDonald’s are forcing them to rely on food stamps and welfare – basically forcing taxpayers to subsidize the workers’ meager wages. Meanwhile, say goodbye to those 50-cent apple pies as these franchise owners need to cover the cost somehow.
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Donald Trump – America’s favorite reality TV star and current leader of the Republican Party – will seize headlines yet again today as he heads to the U.S. border with Mexico. Expect him to yell at emaciated immigrants attempting to cross the border, calling them “losers,” “idiots” and “jackasses,” and blaming them for getting caught by immigration officers. Red-faced Republicans are cringing, of course, as this publicity stunt in San Antonio does little to endear the party to Hispanic voters. Meanwhile, Hillary and Bill Clinton are enjoying a second bowl of popcorn as they watch the show.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1997 that the stock market plunged 192 points, sending shock waves. Today, such financial news is regarded as “any given Thursday.”
WORD OF THE DAY
Catenary – noun
Definition: An overhead electrical wire system used to power trains.
Example: “Boss, I’m late again because of that darn catenary on NJ Transit trains. I’m sure you know, sir, that dramatic swings in temperature (both hot and cold) can cause the catenary to expand and contract, prompting train delays and my repeated tardiness.”