The Morning Briefing - March 31, 2015
GALLOWAY – Let’s hope Miss America likes matzo ball soup with a side of guilt, as she visits a Jewish retirement community in Galloway this morning to accept gifts, lead a drum circle and take a tour. She will also answer residents’ questions, like why is she so skinny, how come she never calls her parents and when is she going to settle down with Mr. America…because, it’s none of our business, but the clock is ticking.
KENILWORTH – “We’re Number 133!” will be the chant rising from the Harding Elementary School, as Gov. Chris Christie takes a break from New Hampshire to attend his 133rd town hall forum this afternoon. Following the script of other “impromptu” town hall chats, Christie is expected to bang the drum about the need to overhaul the state’s health insurance and pension system, as state lawmakers hammer out the fiscal ’16 budget, which miraculously will be adopted by June 30.
CAMDEN OR NEWARK – It seems like an arrangement that only a team of lawyers could concoct: Separate a university’s law school into two separate entities and then have them compete against each other for students, faculty and state money. That’s what happened in 1967, when Rutgers broke its law school into two entities. NJ.com reports the university is now giving it all a second look, voting on Thursday for logic to rule the day, and create one singular Rutgers School of Law, with two convenient campuses.
NEWARK – If a guy offers to trade you his orange prison suit for a ride out of Newark, consider it suspicious. Authorities are trying to find the prisoner who was being treated at University Hospital for chest pains yesterday. He somehow gave his guard the slip – perhaps asking him to go get change of a dollar. The hospital was on lockdown for two hours yesterday, as cops tried to find the prisoner, being held on robbery, burglary and resisting arrest charges.
DOWN THE SHORE – One day, someone will write a page-turner about the bungling, scams and corruption that took place after Superstorm Sandy, somehow forcing many families to spend months, if not, years living in fleabag motels, trailers or on the couches of saint-like relatives. Perhaps a chapter will be devoted to the fact the state had to submit and withdraw an emergency federal grant request a total of 15 times. NJ.com reports there were technical glitches and incomplete information snagging the federal online system, prompting a seven-month delay in putting unemployed people to work in rebuilding jobs. Let’s call it “Chapter 7: An Online Disaster.”
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
PHILADELPHIA – If you were thinking about putting a second lock on your door, this story may clinch it: A 4-year-old Philly girl decided at 3 a.m. that she wanted a snack. Rather than going to the fridge, she slipped through the back door early Friday, walked through the rain to the local bus stop and hopped on a transit bus. Video shows her sitting with her legs swinging and chanting, “All I want is a slushie." As the girl chatted with other passengers, the bus driver thought he might want to call the police, who took the girl to the hospital, where she was reunited with frantic family.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1989 that Donald Trump bought Eastern Airlines’ Northeast Shuttle for his own special airline for the pseudo-wealthy… Because why just act pretentious on the ground?
WORD OF THE DAY
Ecdysiast – noun
Definition: A new word coined by H.L. Mencken in 1940 for an exotic dancer. Mencken merges the Greek ekdusis (shedding), with enthusiast.
Example: Hey, think there will be any ecdysiasts on the Trump flight to Cleveland?