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The Jaffe Briefing - July 8, 2022

STATEWIDE – A group that claims to represent more than 1 million gun owners in New Jersey is now suing the state in federal court to overturn the state’s ban on semiautomatic firearms and assault weapons, New Jersey Monitor reports. Doing the math, that would mean one out of seven adults in this state are licensed gun owners somehow involved – including feeble grandma, the local soccer mom, the teen-aged lifeguard, people in prison, etc. Anyway, the “Association of New Jersey Rifle & Pistol Clubs Inc.” filed the complaint on behalf of these “million” affiliates on Friday, a day after the U.S. Supreme Court ordered Maryland to reconsider a similar ban in light of its crazy ruling that allows handguns to be carried in public. The gun group, salivating decades for this moment, says the Maryland remand means New Jersey’s 32-year-old ban will fall too, to the relief of club members like feeble grandma, with a .357 tucked in her bingo bag.

Editor’s Note: While we had tremendous fun writing this blurb, we were surprised to learn that 14.7% of New Jersey adults have a gun in their home, CBS News reports. We had no clue the number was so high.

STATEWIDE – They are famously called “boat checks,” cash payouts to government retirees for unused sick days. For years, this story has circulated, with taxpayers begging for change. But the Office of the State Comptroller reports that municipalities continue to waste “many millions” via improper sick leave payouts to public employees, the Record reports. In 60 municipalities studied, 95 percent are violating or have policies that will violate state laws. There is rampant waste, such as sick leave payments being permitted annually instead of just at retirement, municipalities ignoring the mandated $15,000 cap, and policies that blatantly disregard reform supposedly created in 2007 and expanded in 2010. The state points to Palisades Park as an example, where the local business administrator collected unlawful sick leave payouts of nearly $10,000 in 2018 and 2019 and was entitled to a $360,000 payout when he retired — including $160,000 worth of more sick and vacation leave. That’s just one example of hundreds, if not thousands, of similar cases across the state, bleeding taxpayers.

BEDMINSTER – It’s been a brutal summer for Donald Trump, with all these Jan. 6 hearings gobbling up news time that he still believes is rightfully his. And that’s why he likely looked forward to spending time with sycophants this summer in Bedminster, at his exclusive golf club, with plenty of time to post wacky stuff, unrestricted, on his very own social media site, “Truth.” But, as NJ.com reports, there’s an anti-Trump Republican group, known as the Lincoln Project, running targeted ads on the two cable channels he faithfully watches: Fox News and the Golf Channel. “We’ve got this thing we call the audience of one, basically getting into Trump’s head,” says the Lincoln Project co-founder. One ad has a narrator addressing Trump directly, stating: “Ron DeSantis betrayed you to become a star, raising millions by stealing your act.” There’s also a digital ad campaign, hyper-targeted squarely on Bedminster. Enjoy New Jersey, Mr. President.

BRIEFING BREATHER

The first person nailed for speeding was driving at 8 mph.

LONG BRANCH – The state is trying to throw a wet blanket on the reckless pop-up parties, handing the city an additional $500,000 in state aid to prevent further bashes, while reimbursing for the enormous cost of police response and cleanup. The Asbury Park Press reports this is another big victory for Long Branch officials, who successfully urged a Superior Court judge to issue an order, demanding pop-up party organizers stop advertising these illegal gatherings on social media. You may recall there have been two pop-up parties, one last May and one this June, in which revelers from all over the tri-state were encouraged to bring booze and weed to Pier Village, with advertisements all over Instagram and TikTok, promising twerking contests and illegal fights. A third one was planned for June 19, but the court stepped in. Now, for the moment, it seems Long Branch has things under control, as the riff-raff considers other oceanfront venues for intentional mayhem.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

SAN DIEGO – One letter to the judge described “cancerous cells” in the uterus, another revealed the cancer had sadly spread to the cervix. But all of these health reports were bogus, and now the defendant who sent them will pay dearly. The judge slapped two additional years to her initial, one-year prison sentence. The fake claim of cancer kept the woman out of prison for embezzling more than $160,000 from her former employer, buying six months of freedom as the judge thought she was getting cancer treatments, the San Diego Union-Tribune reports. Moreover, the letters said she was too sick to pay restitution to her former employer. Forged letters from oncologists recommended she serve her prison term at home, adding “a year in prison could be a death sentence for my patient.” It all came crashing down when federal authorities contacted these doctors, who had zero clue about the letters.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 2014 that Dollar Tree bought its rival, Family Dollar, for $8.5 billion. That’s a lot of dollars.

WORD OF THE DAY

Urbane – [er-BAYN] – adjective

Definition: Notably polite or polished in manner.

Example: Consider me a young, urbane writer who kills it at cocktail parties.

WIT OF THE DAY

“A lot of people think international relations is like a game of chess. But it's not a game of chess, where people sit quietly, thinking out their strategy, taking their time between moves. It's more like a game of billiards, with a bunch of balls clustered together.” 

- Madeleine Albright

BIDEN BLURB

“I've known and continue to know every one of these major world leaders by their first names, and I have access to them.”

-Joe Biden

WEATHER IN A WORD

Heat