The Jaffe Briefing - April 6, 2022

ATLANTIC CITY – Later this month, there will be 2,200 people blowing through a windfarm conference here, as the pioneers of this new energy for New Jersey chase the dollars.  It is widely expected that offshore wind will result in $150 billion in private investment in the next 15 years, and that has to somehow, someway, benefit New Jerseyans.  The state is calling for wind energy to power 3 million homes by 2035. The Philly Inquirer expects the first blades of this renewable energy to be churning by the end of 2024, but it seems like the cash is already in full motion. A key fun fact: the feds held an auction for offshore energy leases. Total cash generated: $4.37 billion from six winning bids.  Yeah, this isn’t just hot air.

TRENTON – Governor Murphy or King Murphy?  Depends on who you ask. State legislators are wondering why the governor removed language from the upcoming state budget that required legislative oversight in earmarking $3 billion in federal relief money. NJ.com reports that the Joint Budget and Oversight Committee was supposed to check and balance the governor’s office on these massive expenditures. But that language is consciously absent in fiscal ’23.  Hmm. The state treasurer, grilled Tuesday by the Senate Budget Committee, shrugged her shoulders when asked why the language was removed. She vows expenditures will be developed with state legislators. Fine, lawmakers say. But put the language back in, Phil.

BRIEFING BREATHER

If two people on opposite sides of the world dropped a slice of bread at the same time, Earth would become a sandwich.

STATEWIDE – Want instant controversy? Update the state’s sex-ed curriculum. The Asbury Park Press reports that school districts are now formulating new lesson plans, under revised state guidance. And this is not exactly the type of sex ed we were taught. Among the lessons for older students are discussions about anal and oral sex, masturbation, homosexuality, and abortion as a “pregnancy option." Oh, my.  That has certainly opened the floodgates of  “appalled” parents, likely all wearing yoga pants and carrying lattes. The newspaper offers examples: There’s the Howell mom who says, “I am honestly appalled at this curriculum.” And the Freehold mom: “I don’t agree with it at all.” And there’s a Marlboro woman who dares to agree with it, saying “I don’t see anything alarming.” (Expect her to be booted from the book club.) The sad fact: anything the schools are teaching is all over the Internet. And our precious little cherubs have been seeing it for years.

JERSEY CITY – Say goodbye to stache. Our three-week love affair with the Saint Peter’s basketball team is sadly over, as the team is being poached and will soon be a shell of its Elite Eight team. The head coach, Shaheen Holloway, fled for Seton Hall within minutes of losing to North Carolina in the tourney. And a trio of stars – including Doug “Pornstache” Edert – are all transferring to bigger and better schools.  Saint Peter’s – a teeny-tiny Jesuit school – now needs to rebuild, hoping to become a Cinderella team again in, say, another 30 years. The sad reality of college sports: When you are magically successful, your team is gutted. Perhaps no one will recruit the waterboy, one can hope.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

WASHINGTON – Fox bites a Democratic congressman.  And, no, we’re not talking about the conservative news channel. It was a real fox who attacked Rep. Ami Bera, D-Calif., while he was walking to the Capitol to vote. Now he’s undergoing the effects of four rabies shots. The congressman said he felt something lunge at him from behind. He turned and used his umbrella to fend off what he thought would be a Fox News reporter. But he soon realized he was tangling with a real-life fox.  The animal, which bit five others, then fled as U.S. Capitol Police officers ran up to  the scene. It’s since been nabbed. After doing some voting, Bera went to Walter Reed National Military Medical Center for his shots. Just another day on Capitol Hill.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1986 that a soccer ball was juggled for 14 hours, 14 minutes

WORD OF THE DAY

Antithetical – [an-tuh-THET-ih-kul] – adjective

Definition: Directly opposite of or opposed

Example: Sleeping in a leaking tent is antithetical to my preferred outdoor experience.

WIT OF THE DAY

“I heard some changes have been made by the current president since I was last here. Apparently Secret Service agents have to wear aviator glasses now. The Navy mess has been replaced by a Baskin Robbins. And there’s a cat running around. 

-Barack Obama

BIDEN BLURB

“Mr. President, welcome back to the White House.”

-Joe Biden

WEATHER IN A WORD

Damp