The Jaffe Briefing - February 23, 2022
TRENTON – We now officially know the teacher shortage in New Jersey is dire, as NJ 101.5 has deemed it a “code red.” State officials, teachers and activists were in Trenton yesterday, demanding that someone do something to bolster the ranks. There’s lots of issues: the pandemic has prompted early retirements, many college students are opting to major in something else, and job stress from all the learning loss has forced many teachers to quit, etc. The pressing issue: schools just don’t have enough teachers, aides, paraprofessionals, bus drivers, subs, lunch ladies, etc. And the current pool of applicants isn’t exactly deep, experienced or impressive. A quote from the Garden State Coalition of Schools: “The profession has been calling for help long before the pandemic. The question is what’s the Legislature, the Department of Ed, the state board and the governor going to do about it.”
ON THE ROAD – Oooo. Two better places to pee. Turnpike officials are earmarking $10 million to rebuild two service areas on the Garden State Parkway in Vauxhall and Bloomfield, NJ.com reports. The big attraction at Vauxhall will be a Shake Shack, while Bloomfield will offer a controversial Chick-fil-A that local officials don’t want, because of the company’s crazy anti-gay policy, as well as a Starbucks. McDonald’s has vacated both properties, forcing motorists to likely travel up to a quarter-mile to find yet another place to buy a Big Mac. No talk about the new bathrooms in the grand plan, always of immense interest to coffee-fueled motorists. But we can only hope that those self-flushing toilets are among the many “touchless” amenities.
JERSEY CITY – If you are going to hike in rural New Hampshire, and then realize that you aren’t exactly good at it, and then realize you need rescuing, and then call emergency crews to find you, get ready to pay for it. NJ 101.5 tells of a 26-year-old city resident who needed help on a White Mountains trail on Sunday. Around 5:20 p.m., when it was getting dark, the young hiker realized she could not continue, and had not prepared to spend a cold, winter night on the hill. Rescue teams swooped in and then dashed out this statement: “Due to inaccurate planning and equipment of the hiker, the New Hampshire Fish and Game Department will be recommending (she) be billed for this preventable rescue.” There’s no final figure yet on rescue costs. Perhaps the novice hiker could have just bought the $25 “Hike Safe Card” as insurance, but, again, no forethought.
BRIEFING BREATHER
Laser is an acronym for “Light Amplification by Stimulated Emissions of Radiation.”
ATLANTIC CITY – For those who are big fans of ESPN 8 “The Ocho,” mark your calendars for March 18-20. That’s when ESPN will broadcast the American Cornhole League at Showboat Atlantic City for what will certainly be a nationally televised extravaganza. The “2022 ACL Cornhole Mania” is the premier event for professional cornholers, with a total pot of $65,000. ESPN will have all the action, from hole to hole.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
SOUTH LAKE TAHOE, Calif. — He goes by the name “Hank the Tank.” And Hank – a 500-pound black bear – is on a tear. He has damaged more than 30 properties around Lake Tahoe, and last week broke into yet another home, looking for a bite to eat. Authorities have been hunting Hank for the past seven months, but he has somehow eluded capture, to the frustration of the California Department of Fish and Wildlife. The big problem? Hank is so darn big; he bursts through garage doors, walks all over cars and, honesty, can be quite rude. To date, CBS Sacramento reports, Hank has generated at least 150 police reports, ravaging an entire region from Northern California to Nevada. Residents could lock their doors. But that’ll just annoy Hank. And no one wants any more of that.
FROM THE MAILBAG
Dear Jaffe Briefing:
First, I wanted to say that I do love your newsletter. I love the combination of great information, local news, humor, and wit.
FYI, I did want to alert you that as a Black American, the use of the picture of Mount Rushmore (in yesterday’s edition) was a bit offensive to me. Not many know that this was originally a sacred Native American land site at the seat of the Black Hills. The original inhabitants were killed and forcibly removed to give miners access to the gold.
The sculptor - Gutzon Borglum - was a self-proclaimed white supremacist. His original idea was to include Robert E. Lee on the sculpture alongside President Lincoln. Please refer to this article published by the Smithsonian Institute.
I didn't know this information myself until only recently, so I just wanted to point it out in case you were unaware.
Kay Lucas
Hackensack
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1994 that the Cleveland Indians’ owner pays $10 million to name the stadium after himself, Jacobs Field.
WORD OF THE DAY
Meliorism – [MEE-lee-uh-riz-um] – noun
Definition: The belief that the world tends to improve and that humans can aid its betterment
Example: I will now officially call myself a meliorist – my new descriptor is certain to aid the planet.
WIT OF THE DAY
“Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives. I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that. That's what's insane about it.”
-John Lennon
BIDEN BLURB
“The fabric of our complex society is woven too tightly to permit any part of it to be damaged without damaging the whole.”
-Joe Biden
WEATHER IN A WORD
Beauty