The Jaffe Briefing - February 14, 2022
STATEWIDE – No doubt, you are a classy person. But you’ve awoken this morning to realize it is Valentine’s Day and you have planned zilch. How can you salvage the day? Well, relax, because White Castle is offering a “Love Cube” meal for two today, just $14.99 for eight sliders with cheese, two small soft drinks and a choice of two sides. Too rich for your blood? Well, um, Applebee’s has something called “Smoocho Sips,” cocktails for just $5 a pop. Or are you hopelessly dateless after following our Valentine’s recommendations from last year? Fear not, friends. You can burn, bury, rip or shred any pic of an ex to earn 10 free boneless wings with a purchase of another 10 at your local Hooters. No need to thank us.
STATEWIDE – The Rams won, and many sports gamblers lost. As plenty of couch potatoes lick their wounds on this hangover Monday, wondering why they wagered on what color Gatorade would be doused on Sean McVay or which booze Anheuser-Busch will promote first, here’s the painful fact: Many of us have developed a serious gambling problem, NJ.com reports. Now that the state has a $10 billion sports gambling industry, the Council on Compulsive Gambling of New Jersey is seeing an unprecedented number of sports-related calls to its help line. Check out these stats: The proportion of sports-related calls jumped to 11% in 2018, 15% in 2019, 18% in 2020 and 17% in 2021. At one point during the COVID-19 pandemic, 29% of its calls were related to sports betting. Will the numbers go up or down in 2022? Likely they are going up, but we aren’t betting on that.
STATEWIDE – One Super Bowl ad grabbed the attention of every New Jerseyan: the ad for a Chevy electric truck. Suddenly, while munching our 19th Cheeto, we are hearing what should be the state’s official anthem: Alabama 3’s “Woke Up This Morning.” And then we are seeing Meadow Soprano driving down the Turnpike, just as her dad did in “The Sopranos” 20 years ago. And then we are seeing signs for Exit 13A, and the tank farms, Satriale’s Meat Market and all the other gritty images that unfairly malign our beautiful state. And then Meadow is meeting her brother, AJ, in Highlands at Bahrs Landing, and we are all ga-ga over the fact that New Jersey somehow made the Super Bowl. Because we’re no longer relying on the Giants to get us there.
BRIEFING BREATHER
Money torn in half is still legal tender. Damaged cash can be replaced at the bank.
TRENTON – Should New Jersey’s jail guards be required to be vaccinated? Of course, the obvious fact is that these officers work in a highly-dense, enclosed environment, a festering petri dish where a contagious disease could wipe out the population. The PBA somehow disagrees with the logic, taking the issue to the courts. Luckily, the state appellate court saw the light, backing the governor in a unanimous 34-page opinion issued Friday, adding that individual self-interest has to take a backseat to other things, like global pandemics. The union – undeterred – is now vowing to take its case to the state Supreme Court, which would be asked to unravel the 3-0 decision of the lower court.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
HUDSON, Ohio – Ice fishing leads to prostitution? Apparently the answer is a strong, unequivocal “yes” in this upscale community outside of Cleveland. The town is making national news after the mayor said last week that he does not want to allow ice fishing shanties on a city lake. Based on his former experience as a TV news reporter, Mayor Craig Shubert tells WJW-TV in Cleveland that such operations attract some very cold hookers. This is not the first time the small-town mayor made big-time news, as we reported last year that he called for school board members to resign over a college-level book that he deemed “child pornography.”
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
Nylon became a must-have on this day in 1937, as DuPont patents it. Good timing, as the synthetic is quickly used for parachutes, flak vests, combat uniforms, Jeep tires and those lovely stockings.
WORD OF THE DAY
Prothalamion – [proh-thuh-LAY-mee-un] – noun
Definition: A song in celebration of marriage
Example: Rarely can you download a catchy prothalamion on iTunes.
WIT OF THE DAY
“I should be a postage stamp. That’s the only way I’ll ever get licked.”
-Muhammad Ali
BIDEN BLURB
“The one thing I want my kids to remember about me is that I was an athlete. The hell with the rest of this stuff.”
- Joe Biden
WEATHER IN A WORD
Brrr