The Jaffe Briefing - December 16, 2021

STATEWIDE – This sentence may have a typo or two. And maybe here as well. Because those blasting leaf blowers make it impossible to maintain a single thought. Sen. Bob Smith hears them too. And that’s why he is pushing legislation to ban the sale of gas-powered leaf blowers within a year and then make them illegal to use within four years, Politico reports. Hell, yeah. Meanwhile, Assembly member Lisa Swain has a less draconian bill, which would provide state subsidies for people to buy electric leaf blowers. People are howling from both sides, if they can hear themselves over the wailing of these polluting contraptions. Likely these bills will go nowhere, as people defend their pristine, leaf-free lawns at all cost. Whatever the case, lobbyists for the traditional lawn rake really need to have their voices heard in this debate, if they can be heard over the blaring.

WOODBRIDGE – You typically expect one or two gadflies to show up at council meetings to argue about garbage pick-up or whatever. So, when members of Black Lives Matter are there, as well as the Proud Boys, well, things can get interesting. News 12 New Jersey is reporting that both sides showed up at the council meeting on Tuesday. The Proud Boys, in matching logoed hats, sunglasses and masks to apparently conceal their identities, blasted critical race theory allegedly being taught in the township’s public schools. Everything was nice and peaceful. One Proud Boy who identified himself as “Burt” told the governing body: “We as Proud Boys have a duty to protect our communities from oppressive government, violence against the innocent, and the pollution of our children's minds.” The Proud Boys vow to return again and again, likely discussing issues unrelated to bond ordinances, resolutions, appointments and other council agenda items. Tonight, the Board of Education meets at the Ross Street School. Expect more colorful comments from the Proud Boys and Black Lives Matter as the sides entrench.

ATLANTIC CITY – Miss America is being crowned today. Can you just feel the tension? No, neither can anyone else, as this outdated beauty pageant drags into its 100th year. At one point, in the 1960s, people really, really cared about who would win the crown in Atlantic City, creating international “news.” Today, Miss America will have her coronation on a streaming service via NBC Peacock, for anyone with slight interest. No primetime show, no big viewership, no nothing. Perhaps if one of these contestants actually brought “world peace,” promised year after year, it would gin up interest for anything other than the bathing suit competition.

BRIEFING BREATHER

Movie trailers were originally shown after the movie. (That’s why they are “trailers.”)

PRINCETON – Let’s just assume a final exam at a place like Princeton University would be a bit complicated. Yet, with this stubborn pandemic, the university has no choice but to urge all the students to go home and take their exams far away from the campus, beginning today. Unclear how many professors had planned for remote testing for such super advanced courses as abstract algebra, neurobiology and connectomics, whatever the heck that could be. The big message for these Ivy Leaguers: See ya in the spring. Maybe.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

ALTAMONTE SPRINGS, Fla. — Workers need some extra incentive these days. And rather than salary hikes and more vacation days, one business has gone to extra lengths: giving away newly-constructed houses to employees. An HVAC contractor that works on new housing developments tells the Orlando Sentinel that it is holding a drawing next December for the big prizes. The company has bought two lots for three-bedroom, two-bath houses, setting aside $500,000. To get into the drawing, employees need to be with the company for a year, take financial literacy classes and do at least 20 hours of community service. It’s another effort to fight the “Great Resignation,” when many workers left their jobs during the pandemic and have yet to return.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1993 that “Brenda” was fired from Beverly Hills 90210 for acting off-camera like an entitled teenaged girl from Beverly Hills.

WORD OF THE DAY

Talisman – [TAL-iss-mun] – noun

Definition: Believed to have magic powers and to bring good fortune.

Example: The Rider basketball team is playing Rutgers on Saturday. Rider should bring a talisman.

WIT OF THE DAY

“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.”

-George Carlin

BIDEN BLURB

“We’ve created over 6 million jobs since January 20th. No new presidency ever created that many jobs this quickly.”

-Joe Biden

WEATHER IN A WORD

Historic