The Jaffe Briefing - November 16, 2021
ALPINE – Where do the richest New Jerseyans live? Well, if you noticed the dateline, there’s no surprise here. Alas, Alpine is the 58th most expensive zip code in the United States, and the tops in New Jersey, as the elite live in gleaming mansions overlooking the Palisades in Bergen County. The Record reports there are other enclaves also lined with gold, in the latest rankings issued yesterday. There’s Sea Girt, coming in with a zip code that ranks No. 70 in the nation, followed by Avalon at a not-too-shabby No. 92. And when you consider that these two exclusive shore towns mostly accommodate “second homes,” you can only imagine who must possibly live there. The Record notes that, you too, can be residents – with fixer-uppers only setting you back $2 million or so. Other heavy-hitters: Short Hills and Englewood Cliffs.
PISCATAWAY – You have all the Rutgers sports fans, who don’t care how much must be spent to recruit top talent to the banks. And then you have the detractors, throwing a wet blanket on all the fun. Today, that wet blanket is courtesy of the Record, noting the football team played before a half-empty home stadium, while the university’s athletic budget is way deep into the scarlet. Still, the university considers the construction of a $150 million “football operations center” to be a priority, with architects hard at work, as well as the need for some serious modernization at the RAC, currently named after a fast food franchise. Such projects would balloon the athletic department’s debt to about a half a billion dollars or so. But then, finally, maybe we can beat Michigan. And that’s worth something.
DOWN THE SHORE – Anyone vying for a decent table at a Jersey Shore restaurant this summer would be surprised to learn that the state’s tourism industry has been struggling over the pandemic. In fact, it would seem, at least for anyone trying to find a place to park, that even more people flocked to our tourism sites, rather than jumping on a plane. But state officials say the industry is sagging and needs help. There’s a bill that’s passed the state Legislature to earmark $25 million in federal COVID funds, with tourism folks noting local and state tax revenue dropped 21% between 2019 and 2020. The bill earmarks one-fifth of the proposed $25 million for the state Division of Travel and Tourism for marketing; the rest is to help our ailing businesses. Unclear who that would be, now. But, hey, it’s free money from the feds.
BRIEFING BREATHER
“I Am.” It’s the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Next year brings the mid-term elections, always a headache for who happens to be the sitting president. And state officials are already tinkering with the election system, again, introducing a bunch of bills that are designed to increase voter participation. First and foremost, becoming a poll worker is getting downright lucrative, with plans to increase the pay, again, to $300 for one long day of work. Legislation would also help voters who botch attempts to vote by mail, as well as permitting New Jerseyans who temporarily move overseas to continue to have a say in state elections, NJ 101.5 reports. All these proposed changes come on the heels of two big initiatives this fall: electronic poll books and early, in-person voting. Some say New Jersey is moving too fast, especially since the November election has yet to be certified. But why wait on good initiatives that can spike voter participation?
MENDHAM – This spoof is courtesy of The Onion: “Saying he was fired up and excited for the chance to debase himself on a bigger stage than ever, former New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie told reporters Monday that he was ready for the next chapter of his humiliation. “Look, I’ve been out of the limelight for a few months, but I promise you that I’m in a place where I can finally turn the page and disgrace myself anew,” said Christie, explaining that despite his many ups and downs, he had no doubt that the greatest embarrassments still lay before him. “Really, I just want to do as much as possible to bring shame upon myself and my family. That’s what my time in office has always been about. So, yeah, I’m revitalized and can’t wait to embark on what just might be the biggest indignity of my life.”
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
SPOKANE, Wash. – The local sheriff’s department was so desperate to find new officers that it decided to advertise 2,574 miles away – in Times Square. The department hoped the $12,000 spend for two days on a billboard would net a couple of decent recruits from the other side of the country. Instead, Spokane created some nationwide attention for its odd choice of an ad buy. The Spokane sheriff – a guy with the absolutely terrific name of Ozzie Knezovich – told The Spokesman-Review that he wanted to advertise in a place that has been anti-cop. But what really got the attention of New Yorkers was the fact the ad misspelled “Washington.” Ozzie Knezovich – a name that just rolls off the tongue – explained that “Washinton” was a mistake of the ad agency, adding that his department knows how to correctly spell the name of the state in which it is affiliated. “I’ve seen juvenile before; this is just about as juvenile as it comes,” says our pal, Ozzie Knezovich. “Some kid made a mistake and that was the headline.”
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 2012 that Hostess files for bankruptcy and liquidates all its Twinkies, now on a shelf near you.
WORD OF THE DAY
Wormhole – [WERM-hohl] – noun
Definition: A hypothetical structure of space time that is envisioned as a long thin tunnel connecting points that are separated in (well) space and time.
Example: Sometimes when I’m caught in endless, pointless conversation, I dream of jumping into a wormhole.
WIT OF THE DAY
“God created war so that Americans would learn geography.”
-Mark Twain
BIDEN BLURB
“People are being killed in western, in eastern Afghan — excuse me, in eastern, uh, Ukraine.”
-Joe Biden
WEATHER IN A WORD
Bright