The Jaffe Briefing - October 12, 2021
GLASSBORO – Election Day is only three weeks away, and voters are already casting ballots by mail, so it can only mean one thing: Another Debate Night! Rowan University plays host to the second, and final, debate between Gov. Phil Murphy and GOP challenger Jack Ciattarelli at 8 p.m. The polls are narrowing, the typical trend as the election nears and the negative ads are ginned up, but Murphy still has a double-digit lead. Two projections: This will be an animated, feisty, popcorn-popping debate, as both sides pummel each other for our entertainment. And the other one: Ciattarelli loses this election, yet closer than anyone thinks, and runs again in four years, easily winning as the pendulum swings GOP. You read it here first.
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – As a Raritan councilman in 1994, Ciattarelli voted on some silly ordinance to ban swearing, making national news at the time. (We remember writing about the ridiculousness of it.) So, the Democratic State Committee has dug up that old, Friends-era law as the peg for a new hit piece for the airwaves. The key message: New Jersey voters still have no clue who is running on the GOP ticket for governor. It also insults the typical voter as being out-of-touch, proudly clueless and crass. But looking beyond that, the ad is terrific.
PINE VALLEY – New Jersey: Wave goodbye to another town. The odd little Borough of Pine Valley in Camden County is merging with Pine Hill, affecting all 21 residents who live in a town comprising only the exclusive Pine Valley Golf Club. Pine Valley never had a big reason to exist; it was only created because some big-wigs were able to convince the state Legislature that the golf club needed freedom, or whatever. In other words, Pine Valley residents wanted to drink, and towns were dry at the time, NJ 101.5 reports. So, under the deal with Pine Hill, Pine Valley gets to keep the golf club’s bar, a non-starter in negotiations. This is the latest big news for Pine Hill, which also finally started accepting women as club members, and continues to prepare for the millennium.
BRIEFING BREATHER
Sea otters hold hands while they sleep.
STATEWIDE – Sure, it is blatant, shameless marketing. But a free Egg McMuffin is a free Egg McMuffin. McDonald’s is handing out free breakfast to teachers and school staff all this week as part of this “big national thank you gesture,” according to a VP of Marketing. With a school ID, you can pick up your “Thank You” meal, with a cup of coffee or whatever, packaged in those “Happy Meal” boxes. Sadly, no toy is included; just a self-promotional “thank you” note. This give-away is apparently marketing gold, as McDonald’s did the same program last year for first responders. One question: When will the promotion be planned to thank the nation’s public relations professionals? We assume a freshly-written press release will be all the proof required for a Big Mac.
STATEWIDE – Maybe this state initiative should be called: “Keeping the 30-year-old son from living in the basement.” That seems to be the goal of a new law ensuring that college-bound students know the full financial implications of a degree at one of the state’s public or private schools. Starting this fall, students will get a one-stop listing of their costs, estimated debt and loan options in what has been called a "shopping sheet." The goal, the Record reports, is for students to decide if college is really worth it. Hopefully, it will all end the sticker shock for graduating students who suddenly realize they can’t afford to pay back their loans and will be stuck with interest into the 22nd Century.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
KINGSLEY, Mich. – A high school soccer player broke a record for most goals scored in a game. But not everyone was high-fiving, after his 16th goal in the first half of an absolute 17-0 blow-out that mercifully never made it to a second half. The other team, winless this year, was ticked. In fact, the losing coach complained that beating up on his pitiful players to go after a record was “a little uncalled for” and “at the cost of another team’s dignity.” So embarrassed and humiliated was Kingsley High School that the matter was to be discussed before the school board last night, the Traverse City Record-Eagle reports. With the soccer team at a hopeless 0-15, the Kingsley schools superintendent says “we’re really missing the mark” and may “need to reevaluate why we’re doing this.” So, not only did the soccer superstar decimate this team, he may have also dismantled their entire program.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1492 that Christopher Columbus was reported to have landed in the Bahamas. Asked for a beer.
WORD OF THE DAY
Fret – [FRET] – verb
Definition: To worry
Example: I think it is officially time to fret over securing a free Egg McMuffin.
WIT OF THE DAY
“The road to hell is paved with works-in-progress.”
- Philip Roth
BIDEN BLURB
“Joe Impedimenta. My classmates hung that nickname on me our first semester of high school when we were doing two periods of Latin a day. It was one of the first big words we learned. Impedimenta—the baggage that impedes one’s progress. So I was Joe Impedimenta.”
– Joe Biden
WEATHER IN A WORD
Transition