The Jaffe Briefing - September 20, 2021

STATEWIDE – Are you an aspiring politician eager to grab easy headlines? Follow the lead of Sen. Michael Testa, earning a layup of media coverage for trying to ban transgender athletes from participating in girls’ sports in New Jersey. A Trump-backed conservative from South Jersey, Testa flung an arrow into the hyper, crazy world of high school athletics. Testa declared that “allowing transgender athletes to compete against genetic females flies in the face of fairness.” NJ.com reports this all sparked fierce debate about sports equality, so kudos to a first-term senator for earning himself some super-easy ink. Yet no one, Testa included, has been able to point to a single issue involving a transgender athlete. It’s just not an issue, except, of course, for aspiring politicians desperate to be a lightning rod no matter who gets hurt. Politics, of course, is not a spectator sport.

TRENTON – To get rid of the spotted lantern fly, perhaps have them all run for state office this November. Because it seems once election time comes, state legislators just vanish. The state Legislature hasn’t met since June – on a four-month recess – and the minority GOP has a good gripe. They want the Joint Budget Oversight Committee back to Trenton ahead of the November election, but have so far not gotten a strong response, New Jersey Monitor reports. That bicameral six-member panel has important work, administering a $3.7 billion fund to pay down existing debt and forestall future borrowing. But the committee can’t do anything without an appropriation from the Legislature, which would have to actually meet. Every Republican member of the Legislature signed a petition that would force the body to convene for a special session. Democratic support, to date, has been light.

STATEWIDE – Now, we don’t want to ring alarm bells, but there appears to be a liquor shortage in New Jersey. No need to panic, please. Keep calm, carry on, etc. But the Record reports that liquor stores, bars and restaurants are having trouble stocking shelves with enough wine, beer and spirits because of the pandemic’s impact on supplies, as well as heatwaves and frosts that damaged crops. There’s also a shortage of truck drivers, scarcity of aluminum, a shutdown of factories, a dearth of containers, extreme weather, tariffs and a greater demand for speciality stuff. Now, in our official investigation, we have not experienced this shortage, but there are no bargains on the good booze. So, pass another Bud Light.

BRIEFING BREATHER

Salt was once used as money.

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – If the Murphy campaign wants voters to remember anything, it’s this: Jack Ciattarelli and Donald Trump are pals and buddies and perhaps even twin brothers. Not true? Could you be really, really sure? Hmm. Unclear if the GOP gubernatorial candidate ever met Trump, or if they even had a phone conversation, but all these so-called “facts” are simply irrelevant during campaign time. The fact is that Ciattarelli made a fatal flaw by showing up at one of those wacko “Stop the Steal” rallies for Trump last November. The GOP contender keeps trying to say he had no clue it was a “Stop the Steal” rally, which, at best, makes him seem silly. Whatever the case, the Democrats are trying to push him more and more to the extreme. And with Murphy’s overflowing political war chest, expect Ciattarelli to be pinned even farther right of that crazy shirtless Viking who invaded the Capitol. Thankfully, it all ends on Election Day, Nov. 2.

STATEWIDE – And now even “Back to School Night” is controversial. (Sigh.) NJ.com reports that school districts are trying to figure out how to welcome parents to meet the teachers, knowing the halls will suddenly become “super spreader” events of clueless people desperate to find Room 207. Some school districts are saying only one parent can show up; others can watch from a video at home. Of course, many parents are eager to get back into those hallways, as they haven’t seen the inside of their kids’ schools for two years. Some districts are going all-virtual, others are mandating masks and social distancing, some are leaving it up to the discretion of individual teachers. Other districts have absolutely no restrictions, just hoping to get through the night with minimal finger-pointing.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

BOSTON – When the famous “Skinny House” hit the market this summer, many were wondering if anyone would put a decent bid on this house that is virtually unlivable, but smack in the middle of the city’s high-priced North End. Despite the fact that the house is just 10-feet wide, has a front curb that can fit about half a car and doesn’t even offer a front door, it does have views of Boston Harbor. So, you can pretty much guess what happened next. Multiple offers, a brutal bidding war and the “winner” dropping $1.25 million within a week. This 159-year-old landmark does offer a rear deck, albeit as narrow as your tightest city alley, that looks out on the harbor. And that’s apparently worth plenty.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 2012 that a so-called “communication specialist” at the University of Nebraska predicted the future of journalism would be unmanned aerial vehicles. Sure, ok. And who exactly would be paying for all these high-tech drones? How about the many, many advertisers? (Insert snarky guffaw here.)

WORD OF THE DAY

Vignette – [vin-YET] – noun

Definition: A short written description or a brief scene in a movie or play.

Example: My autobiography is about as long as a vignette.

WIT OF THE DAY

“The war against terrorism is terrorism.”

-Woody Harrelson

BIDEN BLURB

“You are twice as likely to be struck by lightning as you around to be affected by a terrorist event in the United States.”

-Joe Biden

WEATHER IN A WORD

Gem