The Jaffe Briefing - June 30, 2021
** The Jaffe Briefing will be on vacation beginning July 1, returning July 15 **
TRENTON – Remember the governor’s proposed “Baby Bond” program from last year? It hit the front page of all the newspapers as a shining example of his progressive agenda. Gov. Phil Murphy was eager to create a state-funded nest egg for New Jersey’s babies in an effort to break the crushing cycle of poverty. The Baby Bond proposal quickly died last year, as state officials worried how COVID would decimate the state budget. Yet now, with the $10 billion in state surplus, the Record is asking: So, um, what ever happened to the proposal? The governor signed a fiscal ’22 budget in Woodbridge yesterday without a peep about babies or bonds. No word from other state leaders either.
TRENTON – New Jersey’s new driver’s licenses have a new “feel” and some motorists are saying it feels downright fake. Of course, people went to Twitter, with such comments as: “It looks bootleg. To the point a lot of restaurants & bars deny alcohol service. It took such a long time to renew, for a card that looks fake.” Another gem: “Literally got denied alcohol at a restaurant in NYC because the new NJ driver's licenses `feel absolutely fake’ AND some idiot at the MVC decided to print `Not for REAL ID purposes’ across the front as if everyone has a Masters degree on what the REAL ID ACT is. I'm in my 30s.” State officials defend the new license, of course, noting it is combating fraud and identity theft, while enhancing security in this complex, worldwide fight against terrorism. Just don’t try to use it to order a beer.
TRENTON – Within seconds of learning that Attorney General Gurbir Grewal is leaving the post on July 26 to investigate financial crimes on the federal level, the natural response is to quickly wish him well. And, since this is New Jersey, the rumor mill then quickly turns to his replacement. New Jersey Globe reports that Gov. Phil Murphy is expected to name Andrew Bruck, 38, as his acting attorney general, which is a superb choice for anyone who has ever met Bruck, now with the Justice Department. The hope is Bruck gets the job on a permanent basis, but New Jersey Globe already has a story listing nine potential replacements. Lots of impressive names in the mix, like Superior Court Judge Greta Gooden Brown; Bill Castner, a former chief counsel to Gov. Jon Corzine and a top advisor to Murphy; and former Murphy chief counsel Matt Platkin. It all proves New Jersey can gin up drama on anything.
BRIEFING BREATHER
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
NEWARK – It may be a little late, but it’s a huge ceremonial step that state lawmakers are now apologizing for raiding gay bars generations ago, and stripping liquor licenses from any operation that served “female impersonators.” The New York Times notes one tavern in Newark was shut down for a month in 1939 after a man “made up with rouge, lipstick, mascara and fingernail polish” asked for a drink in a “very effeminate voice." In Paterson, a saloon owner lost her liquor license in 1955 after investigators spotted 15 male couples dancing and sitting with “heads close together, caressing and giggling.” And there’s Asbury Park, which in 1956 had a bar serving men who “rocked and swayed their posteriors in a maidenly fashion.” From the end of Prohibition in 1933 through 1967, when a State Supreme Court ruling finally banned the practice, pulling liquor licenses was the tool to shut down gay bars. With a big “I’m sorry,” the state released all these records yesterday, showing an embarrassing look at four decades of senseless persecution. Yeah, it’s ugly. But at least it is finally recognized.
NEWARK – There is yet another glorious teaser about “The Many Saints of Newark,” with the release of a trailer about this much-anticipated “Sopranos” prequel. It was all over the internet over the past couple of days; view it here. “Legends aren't born, they're made,” is the catchphrase, as the trailer shows how the impressionable, college-aspiring, super-chubby, stripe-wearing Tony Soprano ends up the leader of the criminal underworld, to the thrill of Soprano fans worldwide. There’s even Ray Liotta in the trailer, as a character known as “Hollywood Dick” Moltisanti, who is sure to be colorful. Some serious firepower here. But we gotta keep waiting, until Oct. 1, when the movie finally, finally opens in theaters and streams on HBO Max.
MONTCLAIR – Less-than-thrilling news for Montclair State students, and their parents, as this school gets hyped (yet again) as New Jersey’s most haunted university. An on-air host at WJLK 94.3-FM dug up some decade-old websites this week. Sites like Classes & Careers and Listverse claim students who’ve lived in university apartments on Clove Road have appliances and lights turn on and off by themselves; hear disembodied knocking on doors and walls, or unearthly howls from a nearby woods; and they see shadowy apparitions darting between trees. Sure sounds spooky, but at least these spine-tingling thrills come with no extra fees.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
NAPERVILLE, Ill. — You can get busted for plenty of stuff in Naperville, but “altering flora” seems a little, well, intense. Still, a local man has some explaining to do, after he sprayed trees in a local park to protect them from a dog who has been chewing the bark. The Aurora Beacon-News reports the man is now looking at a $225 fine for his misdeed. “Just as you can’t go around doing things to other people’s property, even if intentions are good, you can’t allow your dogs to do damage or spray a foreign substance on trees,” a Naperville official explained. The man argued he was just trying to save the trees from a German shepherd, who has been gnawing on them for months on end. He figured a can of tree pruning sealer ought to do the trick, thus prompting the crime of “altering flora.” …Hey buddy….so what are you in for?
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1992 that the first fee-based public bathrooms opened in the United States, costing 25 cents in NYC. Seems like a downright bargain, based on circumstance.
WORD OF THE DAY
Oaf – [OHF] – noun
Definition: A stupid person; boob
Example: The loud, bumbling oaf now has seven job offers at shore restaurants.
WIT OF THE DAY
“Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods.”
-H.L. Mencken
BIDEN BLURB
“Well, I thought the deal was, when you went to work for the government you weren't supposed to make money!”
-Joe Biden
WEATHER IN A WORD
Blistering