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The Jaffe Briefing - June 22, 2021

TRENTON – Have we all gotten to that point in our lives when we get giddy about making extra payments to the state pension system? Sadly, yes. We think it is just downright terrific that the state is planning to kick in $2.1 billion on top of the $4.8 billion originally planned to help plug holes in these mandated – but often ignored – pension payments. And by taking advantage of this year’s glorious, unexpected surplus, the state gets a bit of relief in next year’s budget, to require yet another $6.9 billion pension payment in this endless funding cycle. Other titillating news: the state is putting aside $3.7 billion to pay down debt and avoid even more borrowing. Terms like “debt reduction” and “pension payments that create savings” and “strategic investments” are all heart stoppers for New Jerseyans with high hopes of perhaps retiring here – but only if the state is not hopelessly, stupidly and endlessly broke. 

TRENTON – And how exactly does New Jersey plan to blow $6.2 billion in federal stimulus payments? Lots of places where people have struggled over the past year or so are getting a nice boost. There will be $500 million to help with the rent, $250 million to pay the utility bills, $600 million for special education, $180 million in HVAC improvements to old, crappy schools, $100 million to expand sorely-needed childcare. There are three years to pay for stuff, under the program. Unfortunately, no, it can’t be used for pension liabilities, debt, tax cuts, or beach badges.

TRENTON – Gov. Phil Murphy is sure excited to chat about property tax relief, highlighting the Homestead Benefit that will be part of the $10 billion or so in state surplus. Great stuff for those who are income-eligible. But NJ 101.5 doesn’t appear particularly excited, as it appears that tax credit will only go to 13% of households. The radio station notes there are 3.6 million homeowners or so in New Jersey, but the cutoff for benefits is $150,000 for homeowners over the age of 65 and $75,000 for homeowners under 65. So, only 488,000 New Jerseyans will enjoy the tax credits. No question these folks need the credit the most; you just can’t expect so many other New Jerseyans to get all excited about “tax relief” that doesn't include them. Perhaps the state can at least increase the threshold to $82,000, the median income in the state.

TRENTON – Of course, the big story is not about what’s funded; but what isn’t. The Record is noticing some big ticket items that didn’t make the cut – despite this unbelievable $10 billion surplus. The Record is rightfully asking about the unmet needs of crumbling NJ Transit, and the new unemployment insurance system, which, as we all know, buckled under the demands of filers. And, while we are at it, the newspaper is also asking about plans to replace rusty pipes that pump water with dangerous levels of lead to millions of households and school water fountains. And, hey, what’s the deal with Motor Vehicle Commission, where people have been standing on line since, let’s assume, last Monday. The Record, via Charlie Stile, sums it up: It’s an election year; not the time to invest heavily in long-term projects that provide no short-term political benefit.

BRIEFING BREATHER

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116.

WASHINGTON TOWNSHIP – Here’s a waitress who went above and beyond. She suffered a possible concussion and plenty of cuts around her face and neck during her shift on Saturday night at Nifty Fifty’s restaurant. There was a group of dine-and-dashers, who she confronted in the parking lot about their $70 bill. Rather than running back in to pay the bill, and perhaps leave a nice tip to make up for all the unfortunateness, the group threw the waitress into their white Dodge Durango and took her for a ride on Route 42. Three men and two women assaulted her and then dropped her off, forcing a long trudge back to Nifty Fifty’s during this shift to remember. Cops say charges will include “brazen” abduction, robbery, aggravated assault and possible kidnapping, once they find this group, all of whom look pretty darn identifiable on video.

LAFAYETTE – They are quacking up at a local garden center, after 14 ducks worth around $1,000 were stolen. No one knows when they exactly flew the coop, but there were 49 ducks in the fully-enclosed cage Saturday night, NJ.com reports.  When workers arrived Sunday morning, only 35 ducks were milling about. No clue if they were duck-napped, or if the thieves would swap them for bills. The State Police are engaged in the caper, but the garden center will drop all charges if the ducks can quietly be returned. No harm. No fowl. 

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

BRANDON, MISS. – In what could be the greatest bet ever, a 25-year-old fantasy football player was stuck in a Waffle House for hours on end. Here’s how it went down:  The dead last loser of the league was dispatched to the Waffle House for 24 hours. For every waffle that he ate, his sentence was decreased by an hour. He posted the ordeal on Twitter on Friday, keeping the social media world riveted by his boredom and gastrointestinal distress, wondering how many syrup-and-butter-topped waffles he’d be able to choke down, the NY Times reports. “Full of waffles but devoid of life,” he tweeted at 12:25 a.m. After 62,000 social media followers and nine waffles consumed, he was released from the Waffle House after just 15 hours, stumbling into the 7 a.m. daylight.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY 

Sad day in Florida on this day in 1990, when lawmakers ban thong bathing suits in public places.

WORD OF THE DAY

Miasma – [mye-AZ-muh] – noun

Definition: An atmosphere that obscures; fog

Example: Very early in the morning, my mind remains a miasma of confusion.

WIT OF THE DAY

“If that perfect phone call with the President of Ukraine isn't considered appropriate, then no future President can EVER again speak to another foreign leader!”

-Donald J. Trump

BIDEN BLURB 

“The United States supports a strong, united Ukraine with productive and peaceful relationships with both the East and the West, with both Russia and Europe.”

-Joe Biden 

WEATHER IN A WORD

Cooling